I think that might be it - the desire to be or appear to be humble all of the time. Boastfulness is distasteful. Bragging is rude. Humility is prized, and those who display it are to be respected. Right? Is this last vestage of my quasi-religious upbringing? That I am, for some reason, not allowed to think highly of myself when I am, by simple listing of fact, one who should be thought of highly?
And it's funny - as I write this post, I find myself writng synonyms for awesome instead of allowing myself to outright admit I am awesome. I say I should be thought of highly. I say I am a good and decent contributing member of society. But to say, "I am awesome," still feels weird.
I guess I have something to work on there.