So I have this sinking feeling that I'm going to turn into one of those little old ladies who lives by herself in a big scary house with lots of cats and all of the neighborhood kids are afraid of my house and they dare each other to run up and touch the front stairs, until they learn that I'm really not that scary and I make the best lemonade (tart, but not too sweet), and I have the best stories to tell about my life. So they'll all gather around on my front porch and ask questions about all of the crazy places I went and all of the crazy things that I did, and I'll tell them and smile at how I took advantage of the opportunities my life presented me.

I kind of like that idea.

So that time of year is once again upon us when I get to harass all y'all to vote for me and my band to be the Last Band Standing. The grand prize is a slot at Lollapalooza. Groovy, huh? So if you wouldn't mind, please click on the link and vote. You can vote once a day per email address, but if you have more than one email address... And you are more than welcome to vote daily.

Please vote daily.

And thank you in advance for your help!

So I went and got a six week free membership to a gym yesterday and now I really don't want to use it. It was a very male-dominated crowd there and I'm guessing that as much as they're working out, they're checking out the six women in the place. I'm not sure I want to run around in circles in stretchy pants around those people. But I might go try a Pilates class tomorrow anyway. Because let's be honest - I've been eating too much lately and at my age, with my metabolism starting to slow down, I have to take a more active part in my physical health. Unless I want to turn into one of those people who requires a crane to get out of bed. Not so much.

The online dating is just kind of odd. I'm not sure what else to say about that. I kind of want to apologize in advance to any of the guys I end up talking to because this type of structured communication brings out my wordiness. I'm going to end up sending marathon emails to people and that's really not what I'm like. Just ask my mom. But yeah, it is kind of fun to talk to and meet new people like this. In a weird way, it almost feels like I'm on the Bachelorette or something, because all of my matches are listed out, along with our stage of communication and a status report so it almost looks like a race. Will guy A be the first to get a face-to-face meeting, or will guy C be able to push through faster? It's just funny.

So I think in leiu of going to the gym today, I'm going to do some cleaning and then ride my exercise bike while I watch the Cubs game. Sounds like a pretty good day to me. I might even make pancakes with blackberries in them. Mmm...blackberries...

Two questions:

1) Should I be concerned that my cat isn't eating his canned food anymore? He eats the dry stuff and he loves Tofurkey, but he's not eating the canned stuff, no matter what brand or flavor I buy for him. Is that a bad thing?

2) Is it possible to overdose on blackberries?

It is gorgeous outside today. The kind of day when you just want to do something outside. Doesn't matter what. You could mow the lawn or go for a walk or play Frisbee or sing to the squirrels or whatever, as long as you're outside. I, of course, am inside at work. My co-worker isn't here today, either, so I can't even try to sneak out ten minutes early. But it's also kind of quiet, so that's good.

On the update front, I was rejected by another guy for undisclosed reasons. Continuing conversation with a couple more.

And I think I might go get a trial membership to a gym so I can take some yoga and Pilates classes and stuff. Which, unfortunately for those around me, will mean I also have to pick up some new stretchy pants. I'm apologizing in advance for any feelings of wooziness brought on by the sight of me in stretchy pants.

Mostly, I just like to say stretchy pants.

(I would like to mention that although these last few entries may have sounded a bit bitchy or whiny or self-deprecating, I'm actually feeling pretty good about myself lately. I'm smarter than the average bear. I could use a haircut, but in general, I'm looking pretty good. And I write some darn good music. So yeah, things are good. OH! And I have the most beautiful cat in the world. He really does just melt me. He kind of cuddled with my arm while he was sleeping last night, which was really adorable.)

Time for today's update.

I was rejected by another guy because he couldn't see my picture. Aren't we supposed to judge people on personality, not looks?

I was rejected by two guys who are pursuing other relationships.

I was rejected by one guy that I sent questions to because he felt no chemistry.

I answered another guy's questions after he answered mine.

I got a text message from a friend who is afraid for my soul that I signed up on this site. Kind of. It was more a funny text message than a "You're going to burn in the eternal hellfire for your unnatural urges" kind of a message. Though that message could be funny, too, depending on who it is coming from. If, say, Rush Limbaugh or Dr. Phil somehow got ahold of my phone number and started texting me, I think I'd pass out from laughing.

My mom has this theory that I'm going to go through all of this crap and then just randomly run into my life partner walking down the street or at a Cubs game or something. I hope she's right.

Anyway. I'm still open to set-ups, too, if you know somebody I should. Let me know.

Wish me luck!

I feel the need to document my experience with this online dating site. Please note, this is one of those sites where you have to fill out this long questionnaire and then it sends you matches based on your answers and what kind of person you are and what kind of person they are and blah blah blah, so supposedly, anyone who ends up in your "matches" is someone you have a decent shot of getting along with.

One guy rejected me outright for undisclosed reasons.

One guy who doesn't have a picture up rejected me because I didn't have a picture up.

Four guys have looked at my profile.

One sent questions. I answered. I think it's my turn to ask.

I sent questions to three or four guys - I don't remember.

This is funny.

I got some spam today that was dated 2038.

It's somehow comforting to know that spam never dies.

Hi.

Okay, so dating update. I'm going to warn you in advance that this entry may come off as whiny and I'm going to apologize for that. I know it's no fun to read somebody's whiny drivel, and you're not required to keep reading, but I felt like posting so here goes.

I've tried the speed dating thing twice now, with two different companies. One was free, one I had to pay for. The free one resulted in nothing. The one I paid for resulted in a week and a half of dating someone who turned out to be incompatible. Which is fine. We all have to date a lot of the wrong people in order to find the right one, right?

So I have now signed up and paid money to be on this online dating site. I'm interested to see how/if it works. I know it has worked for other people. I'm still skeptical, though, you know? It's hard not to be. I'm not your average bear in any sense of the word and I'm not sure that online dating is the best way for me to meet people. I'm much more interesting in person. Well. Kind of. Whatever.

I think the thing that is mildly irritating to me, though, is that I find myself having to look. To invest time and energy (and money) into actively looking for a partner. My partner. Most of the people that I know found their partners "accidentally" through work or their social networks or various extracurricular activities in which they participate. And you would think that with the amount of extracurricular activities in which I participate that I would have found somebody somewhere along the way who didn't find me repulsive, who I didn't find repulsive, who I could have dated. But for one reason or another, that route didn't work (and in all fairness, I shouldn't discount the fact that I have asked a lot of people out and a lot of people have asked me out and some of it was fun and some of it wasn't and some of it went nowhere and some of it has resulted in friendships so it's not like I've spent years being a hermit or a leper or anything; I just haven't found my life partner yet). So I'm answering silly questions and filling out profile information and uploading photos and whatnot so that I can say I put in a concerted effort to find my partner.

Ugh. Wish me luck.