Today is the birthday of one of my dearest friends. He is kind and compassionate and ascerbic and sarcastic and goofy and reliable and generous and is (almost) always willing to go along with my crazy schemes. We have traveled the world together and have had lovely evenings in our own backyards. He is honestly one of the most quality people I think I have ever met and I am honored to call him a friend. And yes, I'm saying all of that knowing full well that he will hate me for it.
Happy birthday, Bill! I wish I was in Chicago to raise a glass with you tonight.
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Thursday, December 11, 2014
Friday, November 14, 2014
November 14 - Long-Term
As an absolute last minute thing, I got to see a friend of mine yesterday who I have not seen in at least six years. A lot has happened for both of us in that time, so there was a lot of catching up to do. One thing I found really nice about our conversation, though, was that it wasn't entirely past-focused. We talked about the present and the future just as much if not more than all of the things we had missed.
Side note: one other thing I really love about talking with this friend is that we have actual conversations. I find myself in situations quite often where I ask someone about their life or opinions or goals or whatever and they don't then turn around and ask questions back. I don't know if that is an introvert/extrovert thing, or a product of our society wherein we're so focused on what we're doing that we don't invest very much in those around us, or if I'm really so dull that people just don't want to know, but it's a thing that happens. Which leaves me feeling like I'm in either a one-sided conversation or a one-sided relationship, or it forces me to be more extroverted and just tell people the things I think they should know about me instead of waiting for them to ask and as an introvert, I hate having to tell people things. I'd much rather that they ask so I don't sound like I'm bragging. But with this friend, he asked about my life as much as I asked about his. We talked through ideas and celebrated each other's successes and empathized with each other's sadnesses. It was a true conversation. For that and for many other reasons, I will always love this man.
Back on topic: one of the things we talked about in terms of future plans on my side of things is an idea I had a little while ago for a video series. He was very encouraging and thinks my idea is a good one. We even added a little whimsy to it, which might help attract a larger audience. But I find myself thinking more and more about it today. It is a project that is personal to me, something I would like to learn more about and then share with others, something I think I could have a lot of fun doing. And it is something I could do on my own. I've been submitting to the odd audition announcement here and there and have not been getting invited in to read, and I'm feeling like my luck in getting three shows right off the bat upon arriving in New York might be wearing thin. Not that I'll never get cast again, but it could be a little while before my next show. So maybe it is time to start working, really working, on this longer-term project. I like long-term projects. It's something I can really dive into and devote time and energy to, and the more time I spend in pre-production, the better the videos will be. Which is good because finding a space to shoot videos given my current living situation could prove challenging.
Anyway. Much love to my friend, and thank you for giving me a little kick in the pants to keep moving toward my goals.
Side note: one other thing I really love about talking with this friend is that we have actual conversations. I find myself in situations quite often where I ask someone about their life or opinions or goals or whatever and they don't then turn around and ask questions back. I don't know if that is an introvert/extrovert thing, or a product of our society wherein we're so focused on what we're doing that we don't invest very much in those around us, or if I'm really so dull that people just don't want to know, but it's a thing that happens. Which leaves me feeling like I'm in either a one-sided conversation or a one-sided relationship, or it forces me to be more extroverted and just tell people the things I think they should know about me instead of waiting for them to ask and as an introvert, I hate having to tell people things. I'd much rather that they ask so I don't sound like I'm bragging. But with this friend, he asked about my life as much as I asked about his. We talked through ideas and celebrated each other's successes and empathized with each other's sadnesses. It was a true conversation. For that and for many other reasons, I will always love this man.
Back on topic: one of the things we talked about in terms of future plans on my side of things is an idea I had a little while ago for a video series. He was very encouraging and thinks my idea is a good one. We even added a little whimsy to it, which might help attract a larger audience. But I find myself thinking more and more about it today. It is a project that is personal to me, something I would like to learn more about and then share with others, something I think I could have a lot of fun doing. And it is something I could do on my own. I've been submitting to the odd audition announcement here and there and have not been getting invited in to read, and I'm feeling like my luck in getting three shows right off the bat upon arriving in New York might be wearing thin. Not that I'll never get cast again, but it could be a little while before my next show. So maybe it is time to start working, really working, on this longer-term project. I like long-term projects. It's something I can really dive into and devote time and energy to, and the more time I spend in pre-production, the better the videos will be. Which is good because finding a space to shoot videos given my current living situation could prove challenging.
Anyway. Much love to my friend, and thank you for giving me a little kick in the pants to keep moving toward my goals.
Sunday, November 02, 2014
November 2 - Friends
As much as I have complained in the past about how awful some of my friends were in junior high, I have to say that in the grand scheme of things, I think I have been extraordinarily lucky in finding the group of friends I have found in my life. Even the people who I don't hang out with as much as I did with my little core group (who I miss terribly) - they're really exceptional human beings. Intelligent, funny, generous, loving, accepting people. I am honestly a better person for knowing them.
I say this today because I got to have dinner with a Chicago friend who was in town to run the marathon and it was lovely. We talked about his family and my shows and the state of schools and all kinds of things over a burger (him, not me) and a pint. We haven't seen each other in months, but it was as if we hang out regularly. I love that.
Granted, I'd love to see my friends more frequently than I do. Even before I moved to New York, I felt guilty passing up social engagements for theatre things or because I needed introvert time. Now that I'm here, I realize just how precious those "nights where nothing really happens, yeah, but everything goes down" are and I am trying to relish them when I have them. I would also love to be able to take some sort of credit for attracting so many wonderful people in to my life, but maybe it is they who attracted me. Who knows?
Whichever way it worked, I'm glad it worked. I'm so lucky to have the friends I have. Thank you, guys, for enriching my life. I hope I can come close to doing the same for you someday.
Sunday, August 17, 2014
August 17 - Friends
Today is the birthday of a woman who I have known since I was about eight months old. I literally cannot remember a time when I didn't know her, and she has always been brilliant and funny and supportive. She's the sort of person you can't help but adore, and I am so lucky to be able to call her my friend still. Happy birthday, Susie!
Today is also a day when I feel the need to thank my best guy friend for his existence. He is letting me store a lot of my stuff in his garage since I won't have space for it right away in New York. And what's more, he's helping me move those boxes out to his place, even if it means extra, random car trips for him. I've told him several times that if I'm storing too much or taking up too much space or he needs the space back, to just tell me. He retorts by showing me how much more space I can use if I need it. He and his family are a sort of font of never ending generosity and I can only hope that he feels as loved and supported by me as I do by him. Thanks, Bill!
Sunday, May 18, 2014
May 18 - MV
I knew an amazing woman many years ago, with a brilliant laugh and an infectious smile. She always signed off, "love and laughter," and those who knew her picked it up, too, her life motto. She was love and laughter in a brilliant human package.
I say "knew" and "was" because she passed away about a year and a half ago. I find myself missing her on the oddest of occasions even though I didn't get to see her very often. Today, I find myself missing her laugh and her hugs in large part because it is her birthday. And though I am not a religious person, I can't help but think today is beautiful and sunny and warm in her honor.
Happy birthday, Miss Vicky. I love you to bits and miss you terribly. Love and laughter always.
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
December 11 - Happy Birthday!
So I have this friend named Bill. We've been best friends for I don't even know how long. Seven years? Eight? Something like that. And sometimes all I can say is "Thank God for Bill."
He comes from a really great family. They are some of the most generous, kind people I have had had the privilege of meeting. How many friends do you have where their parents buy you a souvenir when they go on vacation? Their house is always warm and welcoming, though not so much so that visitors feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable. As an introvert, I'm comfortable in their house because it moves at just the right speed.
And coming from this family, Bill himself is a wonderful human being. Sure, he has the mouth of a sailor and drinks like a fish (sometimes, though not as often since he works eight million jobs now), but he is just a genuinely good person. He cares for his family and friends. He participates in their lives and takes an interest even in the seemingly mundane. He supports our crazy habits and while he may grumble about hating people, we all know he secretly loves gatherings.
One of the funniest things about Bill, in my mind, is that he is always surprised to find out that people like him or trust him or have faith in him. I think in his mind, he's still the high school or college kid who just likes to have fun with his friends on the weekend. And he does like that. But he works in special education and he's really freaking good at it. He connects with these kids who may or may not actually connect with other people at all. He treats them like people, instead of writing them off as a diagnosis like so many others are wont to do. He helps make sure they get to live the fullest lives they can live, and he also calls them out on their crap when they need to be called out. It is not at all surprising to me that people like him and trust him with their kids. Had I children, I would absolutely trust them with Uncle Bill.
And on a personal level, Bill is my best guy friend. Every time I think I'm terrible at relationships, I have to remember that even though ours is not a romantic one, it is one of the longest-lasting, best, most important relationships in my life and I don't suck at it. We like enough of the same things that we can geek out together, but we are also different enough that we have opportunities to learn from each other. We've traveled all over the place together and I don't get sick of him. Sure we don't talk about FEELINGS too much, but I know I always can talk to him if I need to and he'll be there, beer in hand, to help me feel better. Or cupcake in hand, as the situation warrants.
Today is Bill's birthday. He's not big on celebrating his birthday, but I, for one, would like to celebrate him. Here's to another journey around the sun, my friend. Thank you for the laughs. Thank you for encouraging and participating in my lunacy. Thank you for making sure I leave my house regularly. Thank you for putting up with my crap. Thank you for learning about baseball (and then becoming a monster sports fan) when you knew that was something important to me. Thank you for sharing your "hard core" sci-fi with me and helping me become a sci-fi junkie. Thank you for the Comic Cons and the road trips. Thank you for "overneath," "anywhen," and "...and that's why they call it an outfit." Thank you for all the darts and table fries. Thank you for just letting me be me. And most of all, thank you for being you. Happy birthday, friend.
And ladies? He's single. Woo hoo!
He comes from a really great family. They are some of the most generous, kind people I have had had the privilege of meeting. How many friends do you have where their parents buy you a souvenir when they go on vacation? Their house is always warm and welcoming, though not so much so that visitors feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable. As an introvert, I'm comfortable in their house because it moves at just the right speed.
And coming from this family, Bill himself is a wonderful human being. Sure, he has the mouth of a sailor and drinks like a fish (sometimes, though not as often since he works eight million jobs now), but he is just a genuinely good person. He cares for his family and friends. He participates in their lives and takes an interest even in the seemingly mundane. He supports our crazy habits and while he may grumble about hating people, we all know he secretly loves gatherings.
One of the funniest things about Bill, in my mind, is that he is always surprised to find out that people like him or trust him or have faith in him. I think in his mind, he's still the high school or college kid who just likes to have fun with his friends on the weekend. And he does like that. But he works in special education and he's really freaking good at it. He connects with these kids who may or may not actually connect with other people at all. He treats them like people, instead of writing them off as a diagnosis like so many others are wont to do. He helps make sure they get to live the fullest lives they can live, and he also calls them out on their crap when they need to be called out. It is not at all surprising to me that people like him and trust him with their kids. Had I children, I would absolutely trust them with Uncle Bill.
And on a personal level, Bill is my best guy friend. Every time I think I'm terrible at relationships, I have to remember that even though ours is not a romantic one, it is one of the longest-lasting, best, most important relationships in my life and I don't suck at it. We like enough of the same things that we can geek out together, but we are also different enough that we have opportunities to learn from each other. We've traveled all over the place together and I don't get sick of him. Sure we don't talk about FEELINGS too much, but I know I always can talk to him if I need to and he'll be there, beer in hand, to help me feel better. Or cupcake in hand, as the situation warrants.
Today is Bill's birthday. He's not big on celebrating his birthday, but I, for one, would like to celebrate him. Here's to another journey around the sun, my friend. Thank you for the laughs. Thank you for encouraging and participating in my lunacy. Thank you for making sure I leave my house regularly. Thank you for putting up with my crap. Thank you for learning about baseball (and then becoming a monster sports fan) when you knew that was something important to me. Thank you for sharing your "hard core" sci-fi with me and helping me become a sci-fi junkie. Thank you for the Comic Cons and the road trips. Thank you for "overneath," "anywhen," and "...and that's why they call it an outfit." Thank you for all the darts and table fries. Thank you for just letting me be me. And most of all, thank you for being you. Happy birthday, friend.
And ladies? He's single. Woo hoo!
Wednesday, December 04, 2013
December 4 - DIFFERENT
Social anxiety disorder is a very real thing, a disease from which many of my friends suffer, and I think I do, too, from time to time. I don't claim to be an expert on it, but I know it's a real thing. And I know it can be brought on by the oddest triggers.
For example, my eating habits. I love being vegan. I've been vegan for eleven and a half years, so I'm pretty good at it. I'm even getting better at controlling portion sizes so as my aging metabolism slows down, I hopefully won't turn into the GoodYear Blimp. Grocery shopping trips that took hours when I first converted now take just minutes as I can find the non-vegan ingredient on a package in 15 seconds or less. For me, being vegan is not a big deal. And since I'm not running around foisting veganism on anyone else, most of the time, it's not even an issue.
Until it comes time to eat with someone else. Especially for the first time.
My friends who I hang out with all of the time know I'm vegan. Most of them have only known me as a vegan and never saw me eat a cheeseburger back in the days when all I wanted was a boyfriend who would have a burger and a beer with me. They will even sometimes try their hand at making something vegan I can enjoy. But the waters of a new friendship are tricky to navigate, and when you start to feel like you're close enough friends that you could eat together, I always get these terrible pangs of anxiety. Like this person is never going to want to speak to me again when they find out that "grabbing dinner" isn't as easy as popping into a McDonald's and popping back out. If we dine in somewhere, there will inevitably be questions to ask of the server, or alterations made to the menu item I'm ordering. If it's "fast food," I'll likely be having just a salad while they have a three-course meal. There is always going to be some indicator when I dine with others that I am DIFFERENT, with a capital D, and while I know I am different in a lot of ways (and while I know that this DIFFERENT is one I chose), this is the one that will likely cause the most hassle and fuss when other people are involved. This is the biggest DIFFERENT that is visible on my sleeve, and (to some), probably the least likable.
Side note: being different is good. Being so different that you can't be friends with someone who you otherwise enjoy the company of is disappointing. Does that help clarify?
I like letting my DIFFERENT sort of sneak out in little pieces. I figure it is easier to handle that way, and often times, letting it dribble out is actually kind of endearing to new friends. The experience of dining with a vegan can be jarring for someone who is not used to dining with a vegan. I just have to hope that the sparkling conversation distracts my dinner companion from what is (or isn't) on my plate.
For example, my eating habits. I love being vegan. I've been vegan for eleven and a half years, so I'm pretty good at it. I'm even getting better at controlling portion sizes so as my aging metabolism slows down, I hopefully won't turn into the GoodYear Blimp. Grocery shopping trips that took hours when I first converted now take just minutes as I can find the non-vegan ingredient on a package in 15 seconds or less. For me, being vegan is not a big deal. And since I'm not running around foisting veganism on anyone else, most of the time, it's not even an issue.
Until it comes time to eat with someone else. Especially for the first time.
My friends who I hang out with all of the time know I'm vegan. Most of them have only known me as a vegan and never saw me eat a cheeseburger back in the days when all I wanted was a boyfriend who would have a burger and a beer with me. They will even sometimes try their hand at making something vegan I can enjoy. But the waters of a new friendship are tricky to navigate, and when you start to feel like you're close enough friends that you could eat together, I always get these terrible pangs of anxiety. Like this person is never going to want to speak to me again when they find out that "grabbing dinner" isn't as easy as popping into a McDonald's and popping back out. If we dine in somewhere, there will inevitably be questions to ask of the server, or alterations made to the menu item I'm ordering. If it's "fast food," I'll likely be having just a salad while they have a three-course meal. There is always going to be some indicator when I dine with others that I am DIFFERENT, with a capital D, and while I know I am different in a lot of ways (and while I know that this DIFFERENT is one I chose), this is the one that will likely cause the most hassle and fuss when other people are involved. This is the biggest DIFFERENT that is visible on my sleeve, and (to some), probably the least likable.
Side note: being different is good. Being so different that you can't be friends with someone who you otherwise enjoy the company of is disappointing. Does that help clarify?
I like letting my DIFFERENT sort of sneak out in little pieces. I figure it is easier to handle that way, and often times, letting it dribble out is actually kind of endearing to new friends. The experience of dining with a vegan can be jarring for someone who is not used to dining with a vegan. I just have to hope that the sparkling conversation distracts my dinner companion from what is (or isn't) on my plate.
Sunday, September 29, 2013
September 29 - Friends
I know that amongst interweb friends, the term "in real life" friends, or IRL friends is a thing. It denotes the people you hang out with offline. I know that some people, though, take issue with the term "in real life," because technologies like Skype and Gchat and whatnot make it possible to hang out with interweb friends in a way that is just as real, if not moreso, than in the way we hang out with friends offline. I have started using the term "in real time" friends to denote those friends I interact with in real-time conversations, as opposed to those with whom I communicate through a series of emails or YouTube comments.
And I would like to state for the record that I love my in real time and my non-in real time friends dearly.
But I got to spend time with my in real time circle of local friends a couple of times this weekend and I have to say, I am blessed to know these people, and honored that they consider me one of their own. They show me all of the time what generosity is, what kindness is, and what healthy relationships look like. I talk about leaving Chicago from time to time, and I know that if I ever do, I will miss these people horribly. They are my chosen family and I love them with all of my heart. I hope they know that.
Friday, August 30, 2013
August 30 - I Get By With a Little Help
I've spent a lot of time interacting with Internet friends this past month, with VEDA and all, and Internet friends are great. We all did a vlog on how and why Internet friends are awesome. I am not debating that, nor do I mean to disparage my Internet friends. But I will say that it is highly likely that I am blessed with the best group of "in real time" friends in the world. We are open and friendly and for as large a group as we have, we pretty much all get along with one another. If someone new joins us for an outing, they are shown the same love, courtesy, respect and support as anyone else in the group. So while it may be amazing to some that they found friends on the Internet who accept them and love them for who they are, and while I love that about my Internet friends, I already had that with my "in real time" friends.
You guys know who you are, and you apparently already know that I love you because I tell you semi-regularly. But I am truly blessed to call you my friends. Thank you for making my life so rich and joyous. I love you.
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