Thursday, May 20, 2010

A gay couple in Malawi were sentenced to 14 years in prison because they had an engagement ceremony. Fourteen years in prison for "gross indecency and unnatural acts."

Now, I realize that the culture in Malawi is different that the culture in America, but it still makes me sad. It makes me sad on so many levels.

I've been thinking about sexuality a lot lately. I saw some little tidbit tucked away on some website about another country music star coming out and honestly, all I could think was, "So?" And I don't mean that in a "don't ask, don't tell" kind of a way. I mean it in a "it makes absolutely no difference to me who you are sleeping with" kind of a way. If I liked your music before, I'm not going to like it less now that I know you're gay. If I hated your music before, I'm not going to suddenly decide to like it now that I know you're gay. Who you are sleeping with does not influence my opinion of you. AT ALL. I'm sorry, but it doesn't. So why do we all make such a big deal out of who everyone else is screwing?

Right now, I'm not sleeping with anyone, but if I was, do you think I'd be running around all over the place yelling, "I'm sleeping with David Tennant!" Well, okay, if it was David Tennant, I probably would just because, you know, David Tennant. But I think you get my point. Sex is an intimate thing, between two people, and it is nobody else's business. Yes, there are those who prefer it when there are more than two people involved, but for the most part, it's a one-on-one activity, and when the two people involved are in love with one another and committed to one another and are both old enough to know what they are consenting to, I think it's beautiful (and none of my business). I don't think it is any less beautiful (or any more my business) if the two people are of the same gender as one another. If you're lucky enough to find someone with whom you connect on that level, hold onto that! I don't care if that person is a different race than you or different religion than you or different gender than you - it's a rare and beautiful thing and you should allow yourself to experience that. And anyone who tells you it is unnatural or gross or indecent (or their business) should take a look at some of the practices in his or her own life and I'm sure, he or she will find plenty of unnatural indecencies there. Fake tans. Plastic surgery. Banana hammocks. Repression. Spousal abuse. Child abuse. Animal abuse. Religious persecution. War. People do so many things to harm one another, but are able to find justifications why it is okay to act so cruelly. Yet two men who love each other and are committed to loving each other for the rest of their lives are sent to jail for fourteen years, simply for bringing more love into the world. How does that make sense? I don't get it.

It makes me sad, too, that there are still so many people who find homosexuality abhorrent. And I know that if I ask them why they disapprove, most of the answers have a religious tinge to them - "it's against God" or "it's against nature" or "the [insert holy text here] says it's wrong." I wonder if we took all of that out of it and just looked at it as two people, two best friends, who have committed themselves to loving one another, if it would still look so wrong. Because to me, that's what it is. Two people who get to share something wonderful. I cry at gay weddings the same way I cried at my brother's. To me, it makes no difference who your partner is, as long as they are a good, kind, loving person who treats you well.

I dunno. I realize that parts of this post are offensive to some and parts seem heartless to each other. I wish we didn't have to define ourselves by who we are sleeping with. I don't care who you're sleeping with and I don't know why anybody else should care either. Personally, I'd like to subscribe to the 51st Century type of sexuality - travel the stars, meet new life, and dance with it.
Okay, so those of you who know me or at least have been reading for a while know I love my cat. He drives me crazy sometimes, but most of the time, he is the reason I get up in the morning and not just because he's meowing at my bedroom door for me to feed him. It melts my heart when he curls up in my lap to sleep. I love his little voice and how he sits on the bathroom counter while I'm getting ready in the morning like it's time for his eye make-up, too. He's just...I love my cat.

Lately, he has gotten into the habit of lying between my pillow and the edge of the bed at about 4:30 in the morning, right by my face. I don't know if he does this because it is warm there or because he's already thinking about breakfast and knows that him lying there wakes me up, but the end result is that I can put my arm around him and, essentially, spoon with my cat, my face buried in his back. It just may be my absolute favorite thing to do. It's just this really sweet, innocent, loving moment where I get to hug him and he lets me. Of course, he gets a little squirmy and he pushes his head into my face and then has to roll over onto his back so I could scritch his tummy if I was a bit more coherent and since it is 4:30 in the morning, I am still wanting to get some sleep, so inevitably, I kind of psyche him out into getting up and walking to the kitchen and I close my bedroom door and go back to sleep. This morning, he wasn't going to be fooled so easily. When I sat up like I might go feed him, he rolled over onto his side like, "But mom, I'm not done being snuggly yet." So I went back to being snuggly. For about five more minutes until I really needed to get back to sleep at which point I gently carried him out of my room.

But the long and short of it is that I love my cat. He is very sweet and he knows exactly how to get me to do what he wants. And if what he wants is some snuggly time, I'm all for obliging.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

So I was thinking not too long ago that I'd like to win something. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of wonderful things in my life and wonderful things do happen to me. But usually, I have to work my butt off for those things and pour in a lot of time and energy and blood and sweat and tears. For example, the children's musical I wrote and directed was well received. But I wrote and directed it. The plays that I have gotten into have been lots of fun, but there's the audition process and the rehearsal process and all of that stuff. When it comes to randomly getting picked for something amazing, that never happens to me. I never win the lottery. I never win the contests I enter that involve randomly picking a name out of a hat. And man, I could use that kind of luck right about now.

Things at work are...weird at the moment. Weird and mind-bogglingly frustrating. I can't go into too much detail but it really is a world of suck at the moment. Which means I would really, really, really, really like to be the person who wins a trip to London, or a million dollars, or a new car or something. A spa retreat. A year's supply of lovely lovely vegan baked goods. A date with David Tennant. Something, you know? Something that I didn't have to work for, but that I can feel like all of the hard work I put in just in general, on a daily basis, is finally being rewarded with just an extra little something. A thank you. A karmic pat on the back. I would, just once, like something really nice to happen that I didn't have to lift a finger for.

A girl can dream, right?

Thursday, May 06, 2010


Thank you for coming by yesterday to work on my bathtub drain. It kind of drained this morning. The bathtub was, at least, empty by the time I left my apartment this morning. It still collects a lot of water during the course of a shower, though, and I don't take particularly long showers. Anyway. It's better than it was, thank you.

I am a little bit curious, though, regarding why it was necessary to remove my cat's litter box and the bathmat from the bathroom and leave them in the hallway. Was it that you didn't want to step on them? I'm guessing it wasn't a cleanliness thing, judging by the dirty shoe-prints left in the tub and on the floor. I'm just wondering. And also wondering if you couldn't have, I don't know, put them back before you left. Or at least positioned the litter box with the opening facing away from the wall so if my cat needed to use it, he would be able to do so. I know, I know, I'm being nit-picky.

I'm also a little curious regarding what in the drain-clearing process made the backsplash behind the sink chip, crack, and break so that it required new caulking. I'm guessing you moved all of the stuff off of my counter so as to not get cover it in caulk as you were fixing the backsplash, and I appreciate that. I also like how it was all put back exactly where it wasn't before. That was fun.

Anyhow, thank you for fixing my bathtub (sort of) and for motivating me to thoroughly mop the bathroom floor and wash all of my towels. The simple surface cleaning of the whole room, scrubbing of the bathtub, and sweeping/Swiffing of the floor that I did over the weekend just didn't do the trick.


Monday, May 03, 2010

I'm having one of those days wherein the future cannot come soon enough.
So I'm now three episodes into the new season of Doctor Who and I have to say, I'm not thrilled. I found myself wishing that Martha Jones would make an appearance so that the show would get a little bump of energy. And I have a theory as to what's going on.

Doctor Who has been sort of a cult hit for decades. It was a sort of low budget sci-fi show that certain people knew and loved, and was considered (in some circles) to be dorky. Which is great. But then Russell T. Davies came in and took over and wrote these wonderful scripts and bumped up the design elements and you get this show that now appeals to a much broader audience. Which is also excellent. I have to congratulate them on their successes, and I'm thrilled because their successes make it easier for me to get my hands on the new stuff. But now we have this new production team coming in, riding the high of the Davies era, and it feels like they're going to change everything just because they can. It's like they have money now, so they might as well do all of these nifty things and oh, maybe let's write a script that gives us an excuse to do some nifty things.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so negative. There have been moments in this new season that I have enjoyed and the new companion is growing on me a bit. There was a moment with a star whale that nearly brought a tear to my eye. But the show is not what it was. I know shows are supposed to evolve and that particularly the character of the Doctor is supposed to change with each new actor, but there's something missing and it occurred to me yesterday what it is.


Do you ever watch America's Next Top Model? Tyra Banks will sometimes get on a model for not "bringing it" in her photographs. She'll say something like, "Even when you frown, you have to be fierce. You're giving me this..." and she gets all droopy, "...and what you should be doing is this..." and she makes the frown FIERCE. She gives it oomph. Doctor Who is currently seriously lacking in the oomph department. The Doctor can stand looking over his shoulder at the Daleks while they reveal their plan, or he can STAND LOOKING OVER HIS SHOULDER AT THE DALEKS WHILE THEY REVEAL THEIR PLAN, and currently, he's doing the former.

I know that Matt Smith is a young guy. I know Doctor Who is cool now. But the Doctor's coolness doesn't come from the current hipster cool place of ennui. It doesn't come from not caring. The Doctor's coolness comes from exactly how much he does care. About everything! Every situation he is in is the most important situation in the entire universe! You can't just saunter into that. You have to run.

In actor terminology, everybody needs to raise the stakes.

In two episodes so far, the Doctor has said this is the hardest decision he has to make, but I just don't buy it. I don't see him torn apart by the decision. I don't see his anger or his frustration or his pain. I don't see him weighing the options against one another. I see him bummed out. And granted, in real life, we'd all probably be bummed out in those situations, but Doctor Who is not real life. Doctor Who is bigger than real life, so the reactions to certain things need to be bigger than real life. Like Amy Pond's eyes are bigger than real life.

I should go back and watch some of the Davies episodes again, because I found myself even bored with the performances of the extras in this current season's episodes. First of all, it's sad that I'm paying attention to the extras as much as the stars. But I found myself hearing the directorial tidbits to the extras going something like, "When I say action, push the pieces around on the table, but don't move them too far because we'll have to put them back for the next shot." Or, "When the Dalek shoots you, put your arms in the air because it really hurts and then fall to the ground because you're dead." Whereas I get the feeling that the direction from the Davies era for those same extras would have been more like, "You're strategizing your next move and it's okay to move the pieces around to experiment with different layouts. But keep in mind that the next attack is coming in four minutes and you need to be ready to take the hit and you have to have a plan for how to counterattack," and "And then he shoots you! Zap! And it's like being electrocuted with 10,000 volts so you just kind of melt into a puddle that was once a human being." They both get the same point across, but one is infused with energy and urgency, while the other just gives the people something to do physically. I don't know if the lackluster performances by the background are because they used to have better extras or because the director just wasn't paying attention to them.

Which brings me to the scripts themselves. I've already talked about the wasted time on the new Doctor's food preferences, but in general, they're not as clever as they were. They seem more linear, and the big secret thing that you know is going to be important in the season finale (think "bad wolf") is already being shoved down our throats so it will come as no surprise when something happens with it later. Unless they do something shocking with it. But we all know where the shock is coming from.

Anyway. I don't mean to be a negative nelly. I love Doctor Who, and I think it is because I love the franchise of Doctor Who that I feel it necessary to kind of whip it into shape. Actors need to care more and when they don't, the director needs to call them out on it. And just because you can make rainbow colored plastic looking Daleks doesn't mean you should. Though I do like the new eye-stalks. Those look pretty groovy. I'm still not totally sold on the new TARDIS and am realizing they haven't spent much time in it. Maybe they're not sold, either. Anyway. Here's hoping the season picks up. Or, if it doesn't, that I somehow get to work on the show so I can bring the oomph back myself.

Tee hee.

Saturday, May 01, 2010

Starting today, I pledge to lose 10% of my current body weight.
Starting today, I promise to take better care of myself.
Starting today, I will create my meals so that they include protein, grains, and vegetables.
Starting today, I will get back to cooking.
Starting today, I will stop beating myself up for my appearance.
Starting today, "I just don't want to" is no longer a good enough reason to skip working out.
Starting today, I will cut back the amount of sugary junk food that I eat.
Starting today, I will strive for the body I want to have instead of the one I feel I'm stuck with.
Starting today, I will know I deserve it.
Starting today, I will start loving myself again.