It is generally the holidays when one misses family and friends who are not nearby. For me, it is today. Halloween.
I love Halloween. Always have. I love dressing up and playing a character for a day. Shocker coming from an actor, right? And in Chicago, my friends and I would always do something, even if it was just dress up and go have a drink at the local bar. I have friends in New York; don't get me wrong. But I haven't found the "hey, let's go get a drink" friends just yet. And just about everyone I know is doing something for Halloween already, including things where I would have had to decide a while ago if I was going or not and since I didn't decide, it's too late. But it's Halloween. I wore a costume to work, and I can't just go home and go to bed. I have to go out and do something. It's Halloween, for crying out loud.
My friend's voice keeps ringing in my head with some advice he gave me about moving. He has moved around quite a bit in his life, and he told me that it is always hard to find your local bar and your local group to hang out with. He told me stories of him going by himself to this place or that place, and just keeping that up until he would eventually meet some people worth hanging on to. So tonight, I think I am going to take his advice. There's a bar I would like to go to more often than I have, and they're playing the Rocky Horror Picture Show at midnight. Even if I don't stay late enough for that, I think I'll go and treat myself to a drink. Maybe talk to the people sitting next to me. Who knows? I might find someone fun to chat with for an evening.
I still miss my Chicago friends, though. But I have pictures of them in silly costumes playing in my head, so I'm not totally lonely.
Friday, October 31, 2014
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
October 29 - Endings
One of my great aunts passed away late last night/early this morning. We knew it was coming - she was sick and not given a very good prognosis. But she used her time, the last of her time, to properly say good bye to her family and friends and this world. My mother saw her a month or so ago and said that aside from having lost a lot of weight, my great aunt was in fantastic spirits. And not in the "I'm actually sad I'm going to die, but I'm trying to stay positive" way, but in the actual "I'm okay with what is happening to me" way. Because of that, I'm having a little bit of trouble knowing how to feel about her passing. She was wonderful and will be missed. But if she wasn't upset by her passing, should we be?
I think it raises an interesting question about how we, as a society, view death. And yes, there are a lot of people for whom it is terrifying or it happens at a really inopportune time. But my aunt knew it was coming. She knew her prognosis was grim. And she chose to not get bogged down in that. She chose to go out on a high note, so to speak, loving the life that she had and the people around her, instead of focusing on all of the time she wouldn't have. I don't know of many people who have gone out that way. I kind of like the idea of going out that way. If I am given the choice and get some fair warning of how much time I have left, I think I would like to go out that way. Because let's face it - we're all going to die someday. Death is the ultimate end goal of life. So why expend a ridiculous amount of energy a) fighting the inevitable, or b) being pissed off about the inevitable? Why not spend the time that you have being with the people you love and doing the things you enjoy and just loving that part of the equation?
You will be missed, Aunt Fran, but not forgotten. Your intelligence and warmth and grace throughout your life, all the way up to the end, will continue to be an inspiration.
I think it raises an interesting question about how we, as a society, view death. And yes, there are a lot of people for whom it is terrifying or it happens at a really inopportune time. But my aunt knew it was coming. She knew her prognosis was grim. And she chose to not get bogged down in that. She chose to go out on a high note, so to speak, loving the life that she had and the people around her, instead of focusing on all of the time she wouldn't have. I don't know of many people who have gone out that way. I kind of like the idea of going out that way. If I am given the choice and get some fair warning of how much time I have left, I think I would like to go out that way. Because let's face it - we're all going to die someday. Death is the ultimate end goal of life. So why expend a ridiculous amount of energy a) fighting the inevitable, or b) being pissed off about the inevitable? Why not spend the time that you have being with the people you love and doing the things you enjoy and just loving that part of the equation?
You will be missed, Aunt Fran, but not forgotten. Your intelligence and warmth and grace throughout your life, all the way up to the end, will continue to be an inspiration.
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
October 28 - Weird
I like being weird. Like Moss, it's all I've got.
I just finished a lovely book called What If? by Randell Munroe, which is a series of silly physics questions answered very honestly and often hysterically by a former NASA physicist who now draws cartoons on the interweb. It is hysterical.
To me.
I realized that this was an important distinction - that it's funny to me - when I was describing the book to a woman who didn't seem to find it funny. It either had to be that I was describing it wrong, or other people don't find it funny that if you tried to build a periodic table of elements out of the elements themselves that very bad things would happen. The woman then said to me something along the lines of, "Oh, you're such a cute nerd." And it struck me that it is probably both - I was describing a joke badly that not everyone was going to get anyway. I'm the weird one. And I like being the weird one.
That being said, we had a discussion in rehearsal the other night wherein we were each encouraged to share something about ourselves that may not come up in regular conversation, as a sort of bonding exercise. Other people talked about their beliefs or sexuality or traumatic experiences. I found myself thinking about seventeen things that I could share, but what came out of my mouth was that I am vegan and I am an introvert. We didn't talk further about the introversion (which I would have liked to talk about), but a few vegan jokes were made. In retrospect, I picked the wrong things to share.
I should have said that I am a member of Mensa. Most people know I'm smart, or they figure it out after a while. I'm not sure they know how smart. And I always try to downplay it. Always. Even talking about it here feels distasteful and wrong, like I'm not supposed to brag about this gift I was born with. I memorize things fast. I learn fast. I make connections between things quickly and easily. I'm really good at most of the things I do. I have learned a lot of things in my life and retained a lot of information. But our society and our culture currently hold ignorance and youth in high regard (see Craig Fergason's piece where he claims to know why everything is messed up). So for me to talk about how smart I am...it can be an alienating thing. Something else to make me feel weird and different from those around me. So I don't talk about it much, and when it comes up, I shrug it off or downplay it.
Well, in the name of enjoying my own weirdness, let me say, "Hi. My name is Kitty and I'm really smart. That's not a bad thing, if for no other reason, because it allowed me to enjoy What If?, which is a really lovely book."
Seriously, find a copy and give it a read. It'll make you feel smart, too.
Monday, October 27, 2014
October 27 - Geek
I am the only person on this subway car. All I can think is that I really hope Spike shows up looking like Billy Idol, twirling a length of pipe.
Yes, I'm a geek.
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Saturday, October 25, 2014
October 25 - Nap
I took a nap today. About three hours. It was glorious.
I woke up with a terrible headache, probably because I've not had caffeine today. That was not glorious.
So I'm treating myself to Chinese food by delivery and a night in doing nothing important. Except reviewing my lines for rehearsal tomorrow. But other than that, nothing important.
Enjoy your evening!
Friday, October 24, 2014
October 24 - Love
I got a present from my mom and her partner today. Two of the most wonderful people I know made dolls of themselves so they could be with me more often. I love them - the dolls and the people who made them. The human versions give better hugs, but the dolls come close.
How did I get so lucky?
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
October 22 - Categorization
So, in regard to the play I'm currently working on about transgender people at various points in their transition process, someone asked me if I do or have done a lot of queer theatre, and honestly, that question has been ringing in my head ever since it was asked. It bothered me. At first, I wasn't sure if it was the tone of voice - it was almost condescending, like as a cast member, I would only be valued if I was a crusader for gay rights since I myself do not identify as gay. I don't think that was how the question was intended, though, so I found myself thinking about it more and more and trying to figure out why the question irked me. Here's what I've come up with so far. And keep in mind, I do not identify as gay, so whatever I say here should be taken with a grain of salt. Or at least with the knowledge that it comes from a largely hetero-normative perspective.
First of all, I don't like the word "queer" in this context. To me, "queer" means "strange" or "abnormal" or "odd," and I'm not sure I want to refer to non-heterosexual lifestyles as "strange" or "abnormal" or "odd." That seems counter-intuitive to me. I realize that there is an element of, "Okay, you guys used this word to describe us for a long time, so we're going to take it back and own it," but I still don't like to use the word "queer" in this context. It feels wrong for me personally to use it as someone who hasn't really been on either side of that spat, historically speaking.
But I think the root of the problem I had with being asked if I've done a lot of queer theatre stems from the need to identify queer theatre as something separate from non-queer theatre. And as an extension of that, I don't think I would therefore have a good definition for what makes theatre queer. I was a member of a theatre company that was founded by two drag queens - does that mean everything I did there was queer theatre? My Hamlet was bisexual - does that make that queer theatre? I played a woman who suffered severe head trauma, woke up with amnesia, and fell in love with a woman - was that queer theatre? Our completely cross-gender-cast The Bad Seed: The Musical was adored by the Chicago gay community - was that queer theatre? In many of the shows that I've done, I've been in the minority as a non-homosexual cast or crew member - was that queer theatre? Or is "queer theatre" only used to describe theatre that tries to directly address or advances LGBT issues? Because using one set of criteria, I've done a lot of "queer theatre," but using another, I've not. So I honestly didn't know how to answer the question.
Which then brought me back to another question that came up in the past few days and how much I liked the answer to it. Within the context of a lesbian relationship, I know someone who takes issue with describing one partner as the "butch" and one as the "fem," because not all lesbian relationships are composed of a "butch" and a "fem." Often times, it's two women who fell in love. Each of them might like to wear makeup from time to time, or flannel shirts from time to time. They don't necessarily fall into one category or the other, they fall into the gray area in between, like so many of us do in relation to so many things.
Again: they fall into the gray area in between, like so many of us do in relation to so many things.
So I think what bothered me about being asked if I've done a lot of "queer theatre" was the need to categorize what I do and what I've done. I understand that labels and categorizations are comforting for a lot of people. They give a point of reference for how to relate to the world around us. I'm getting tired of categorizations, though. I'm starting to feel like they separate us more than they bring us together. If you're gay and I'm not, does that mean we can't interact? If you're a boy and I'm a girl, does that mean we can't geek out over Doctor Who together? If I'm American and you're French, does that mean we can't be great dance partners? For me, the answer to all of those questions is "no." And I like having a diverse circle of friends (or at the very least, a diverse circle of acquaintances). And I like having a diverse group of life experiences, meaning I like to do straight theatre, queer theatre, classical theatre, contemporary theatre, theatre written by playwrights from all over the world. I like to do theatre. I like to tell stories of all sorts. I'm just as thrilled to be a part of a production that is topical and designed to raise awareness as I am to be part of a Shakespearean production of a play that has been produced thousands of times before. I don't feel the need to concentrate my efforts on one type of theatre or another, as I think they're all valid and fun and vibrant.
Is that wrong?
First of all, I don't like the word "queer" in this context. To me, "queer" means "strange" or "abnormal" or "odd," and I'm not sure I want to refer to non-heterosexual lifestyles as "strange" or "abnormal" or "odd." That seems counter-intuitive to me. I realize that there is an element of, "Okay, you guys used this word to describe us for a long time, so we're going to take it back and own it," but I still don't like to use the word "queer" in this context. It feels wrong for me personally to use it as someone who hasn't really been on either side of that spat, historically speaking.
But I think the root of the problem I had with being asked if I've done a lot of queer theatre stems from the need to identify queer theatre as something separate from non-queer theatre. And as an extension of that, I don't think I would therefore have a good definition for what makes theatre queer. I was a member of a theatre company that was founded by two drag queens - does that mean everything I did there was queer theatre? My Hamlet was bisexual - does that make that queer theatre? I played a woman who suffered severe head trauma, woke up with amnesia, and fell in love with a woman - was that queer theatre? Our completely cross-gender-cast The Bad Seed: The Musical was adored by the Chicago gay community - was that queer theatre? In many of the shows that I've done, I've been in the minority as a non-homosexual cast or crew member - was that queer theatre? Or is "queer theatre" only used to describe theatre that tries to directly address or advances LGBT issues? Because using one set of criteria, I've done a lot of "queer theatre," but using another, I've not. So I honestly didn't know how to answer the question.
Which then brought me back to another question that came up in the past few days and how much I liked the answer to it. Within the context of a lesbian relationship, I know someone who takes issue with describing one partner as the "butch" and one as the "fem," because not all lesbian relationships are composed of a "butch" and a "fem." Often times, it's two women who fell in love. Each of them might like to wear makeup from time to time, or flannel shirts from time to time. They don't necessarily fall into one category or the other, they fall into the gray area in between, like so many of us do in relation to so many things.
Again: they fall into the gray area in between, like so many of us do in relation to so many things.
So I think what bothered me about being asked if I've done a lot of "queer theatre" was the need to categorize what I do and what I've done. I understand that labels and categorizations are comforting for a lot of people. They give a point of reference for how to relate to the world around us. I'm getting tired of categorizations, though. I'm starting to feel like they separate us more than they bring us together. If you're gay and I'm not, does that mean we can't interact? If you're a boy and I'm a girl, does that mean we can't geek out over Doctor Who together? If I'm American and you're French, does that mean we can't be great dance partners? For me, the answer to all of those questions is "no." And I like having a diverse circle of friends (or at the very least, a diverse circle of acquaintances). And I like having a diverse group of life experiences, meaning I like to do straight theatre, queer theatre, classical theatre, contemporary theatre, theatre written by playwrights from all over the world. I like to do theatre. I like to tell stories of all sorts. I'm just as thrilled to be a part of a production that is topical and designed to raise awareness as I am to be part of a Shakespearean production of a play that has been produced thousands of times before. I don't feel the need to concentrate my efforts on one type of theatre or another, as I think they're all valid and fun and vibrant.
Is that wrong?
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
October 21 - Toxicity
I've been trying really hard while I've been in New York to stay positive. I would love it if people leave interactions with me thinking, "She's a nice person." And so many of the things that were making me an inherently angry person in Chicago are no longer part of my life, so it honestly hasn't been too much of a struggle to stay positive and optimistic. Let's be honest - my first seven weeks here have been pretty darn amazing.
But then I get the response from the moving company to my Better Business Bureau complaint and it just pisses me off. I'm not going to go into too much detail here - I'll post the facts somewhere else later - but suffice it to say, I have very little faith in the humanity of that moving company. They have responded completely distastefully at every opportunity and have refused to take any sort of responsibility for the debacle that was my move to New York. I find myself wondering, though, if it is worth it to continue spewing my negative energy and my negative feelings at them through this medium. I do still need to work on the full factual account (with no commentary) of the whole process which will go up somewhere, but do I need to keep responding to the brick wall they have set up around themselves in regard to the BBB complaint?
I am taking some solace in the knowledge that my friends and family know how terrible the experience was, and that the whole thing is over. I just don't know how much time I want to spend fighting those who will not so much as offer up an apology for any of it (for their representatives not letting me finish speaking on the phone, for breaking my stuff, for delaying my shipment, for being rude) when there is so much in my life to be happy about right now. Which I'll tell you about later.
Because honestly, I have a lot to be happy about right now. And I'm kind of enjoying learning what being happy feels like.
But then I get the response from the moving company to my Better Business Bureau complaint and it just pisses me off. I'm not going to go into too much detail here - I'll post the facts somewhere else later - but suffice it to say, I have very little faith in the humanity of that moving company. They have responded completely distastefully at every opportunity and have refused to take any sort of responsibility for the debacle that was my move to New York. I find myself wondering, though, if it is worth it to continue spewing my negative energy and my negative feelings at them through this medium. I do still need to work on the full factual account (with no commentary) of the whole process which will go up somewhere, but do I need to keep responding to the brick wall they have set up around themselves in regard to the BBB complaint?
I am taking some solace in the knowledge that my friends and family know how terrible the experience was, and that the whole thing is over. I just don't know how much time I want to spend fighting those who will not so much as offer up an apology for any of it (for their representatives not letting me finish speaking on the phone, for breaking my stuff, for delaying my shipment, for being rude) when there is so much in my life to be happy about right now. Which I'll tell you about later.
Because honestly, I have a lot to be happy about right now. And I'm kind of enjoying learning what being happy feels like.
Monday, October 20, 2014
October 20 - Solo
I remember learning how to eat in a restaurant by myself when I was in Australia. The tip I can offer is to just not care that you're eating alone. Because seriously, everyone has to eat and just because there isn't someone there with you doesn't mean you can't splurge on something fancy from time to time.
Tonight, I treated myself to a fancy Korean vegan restaurant experience. Well, Asian, anyway. They have everything from vegan sushi to pho to pad Thai. But it is very dimly lit and slightly higher priced than the sammiches I've been grabbing for a quick dinner. And I'm eating with a napkin on my lap instead of balled up in my fist. It's been nice. It's been fun. A little something nice just for me. And even though I feel a little odd with the servers standing so close to my table, practically watching me eat, I would do it again.
Oh, and one more tip: when eating solo, tip well. Any weirdness that the servers may have felt about you goes away once they know you're a generous and polite diner.
Sunday, October 19, 2014
October 19 - Finishing
My first show in New York closed today. I will never have another first show in New York; that one is done. I still have my first off-Broadway show, and my first Broadway show to look forward to, but my first ever show in New York is done. I am officially a New York actor now.
I have also finished my first class in New York. And finished putting my stuff that didn't fit in the apartment into a storage space. I've only been here seven weeks, and I've opened and closed a show, taken a class, and settled in. I've made friends. I've made connections. I've made good impressions. It doesn't feel like I have been here long enough to have done all of that. My introvert self is flabbergasted by what I've accomplished in seven weeks.
Though perhaps the best part is that I'm not done yet. I've only been here seven weeks of the three-year trial period I was going to give my New York adventure. Let's see what happens in the next 149 weeks. I can't wait to find out.
Saturday, October 18, 2014
October 18 - So Close, Yet So Far
When Tom Hiddleston was doing Coriolanus in London, they released a video on YouTube that showed part of the preshow ritual - getting into costume, getting calls from the stage manager, the cast doing warm-ups on stage including Zip Zap Zop because that game exists everywhere, and for the second time in my life, I got a really strange warm fuzzy feeling about theatre outside of Chicago. The first time was when I was in Milan and I visited the La Scala Opera House during a tech rehearsal and I was able to see that theatre is theatre where ever it happens. We all warm up before the show, often with the same games. Tech is a tedious but necessary process. It was just a glorious feeling that since I am a theatre artist, the skills I have studied and honed in storefront theatres will translate to other stages. And that no matter how big the stage, I will find a home there.
Tonight, there was a massive party with a DJ in the room adjacent to our performance space. Our dressing room door doesn't lock, and there really aren't good lights or mirrors for putting on make up. There is a man who lives upstairs in the space who will stumble drunkenly into our dressing room during performances. The off-stage left area smells like cat pee.
But we still show up every night, and we do our warm-ups and check our props, and go through our rituals. It is not glamorous, but it is theatre. And we do it because we love it. We do it because the thought of not doing theatre makes our hearts ache and our souls sink. We do theatre because we can't not.
All the same, we dream of the days when our dressing rooms have mirrors and locks on the doors. We dream of spaces with fuses that don't blow and where we can control the sound. We dream of performing with Tom Hiddleston. We dream.
Friday, October 17, 2014
October 17 - Love
I know it's rather distasteful to say, but I'm still sort of in the honeymoon period of my relationship with New York so I just want to talk about the city. I walked through Central Park today to get from work to the theatre and I was smiling like an idiot pretty much the whole way. I get to live here, guys. How cool is that?
I love the faces. So many different faces in New York, and every one of them has a story, and every one of them is fantastic.
I love the dogs. The ones out frolicking and sniffing everything while their humans try to maintain some sort of control and the perfectly quaffed puppies strutting down Madison Avenue watching the people go by, as if they were human themselves.
I love the activity. Everyone is going somewhere for a reason. Or stopping for a reason. Or participating in something for a reason. Everyone is doing something and it is so much fun to build stories around their lives.
I love the life. Not the Life, but the fact that everything is so alive. People just doing their thing. Rats doing what they do. Cats doing what they do. Dogs, people, birds, squirrels all doing what they do. Everyone and everything just living. It's gorgeous.
This city is huge and fantastic and there is so much more for me to discover here. I hope I don't tire of this place too soon, and I hope I don't stop noticing things, like the covered bridge in the park or the tree with a trunk shaped like a sweetheart love seat. I do miss my family and my friends in Chicago. A lot. But I'm so happy here. I'm really glad I made the move to New York. However long I end up staying, I will not regret this adventure.
Thursday, October 16, 2014
October 16 - Fall Challenge
I have to say, I'm loving that New York is staying warmer than Chicago is, a little later into the season. I didn't wear a jacket when I left the apartment yesterday, nor did I miss having one. That was nice. But I will also say this: dressing for New York weather is neigh on impossible, especially when one is consistently putting in fifteen to sixteen hour days. I leave the apartment at about 7:30 in the morning and am usually not home until 10:30 or 11:00 at night on a good night. Sometimes, I'm not home until after midnight. That is a) a long time to be away from home on a daily basis and b) a long period of time wherein weather can change a lot. Case in point:
When I left my apartment yesterday morning, it was sunny-ish, with a forecast for 70-degree temperatures and possible showers later in the day. I had an umbrella in my backpack (it has become a permanent resident there), I didn't bring a jacket, and I wore sneakers. For most of the day, I was fine. Even when the deluge hit at about 6:00 pm, I was nearly at the theatre and was able to stay mostly protected under construction scaffoldings and whatnot. It rained while our play was happening, creating a nice puddle on the floor off-stage left where the roof could use some work, but was then clear-ish when I left the theatre. Getting off of the train to walk back to my apartment, though, everyone had to pull out umbrellas again for deluge number two. By the time I got home, my feet were soaked. So this morning, seeing a forecast for rain showers most of the day, I again had my umbrella with me and chose rain boots for my out-and-about-walking footwear. It was hazy and cloudy and drizzly all morning, but has now cleared up and is sunny and gorgeous. So I'm going to look silly on my way to the theatre wearing rain boots, and again on my way home.
There are only two real solutions I can think of for the constantly changing weather here, given the fact that my sixteen-hour days are not going to be ending any time soon. One: start carrying around a suitcase that has emergency rain gear including a slicker, boots, and a change of clothes so I'm prepared in the event I get caught somewhere with inappropriate footwear. Or two: deal with the fact that I'm going to look silly and inappropriately dressed about half of the time.
I'm leaning toward option number two.
When I left my apartment yesterday morning, it was sunny-ish, with a forecast for 70-degree temperatures and possible showers later in the day. I had an umbrella in my backpack (it has become a permanent resident there), I didn't bring a jacket, and I wore sneakers. For most of the day, I was fine. Even when the deluge hit at about 6:00 pm, I was nearly at the theatre and was able to stay mostly protected under construction scaffoldings and whatnot. It rained while our play was happening, creating a nice puddle on the floor off-stage left where the roof could use some work, but was then clear-ish when I left the theatre. Getting off of the train to walk back to my apartment, though, everyone had to pull out umbrellas again for deluge number two. By the time I got home, my feet were soaked. So this morning, seeing a forecast for rain showers most of the day, I again had my umbrella with me and chose rain boots for my out-and-about-walking footwear. It was hazy and cloudy and drizzly all morning, but has now cleared up and is sunny and gorgeous. So I'm going to look silly on my way to the theatre wearing rain boots, and again on my way home.
There are only two real solutions I can think of for the constantly changing weather here, given the fact that my sixteen-hour days are not going to be ending any time soon. One: start carrying around a suitcase that has emergency rain gear including a slicker, boots, and a change of clothes so I'm prepared in the event I get caught somewhere with inappropriate footwear. Or two: deal with the fact that I'm going to look silly and inappropriately dressed about half of the time.
I'm leaning toward option number two.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
October 14 - Disinterested
It didn't occur to me until after I picked today's blog topic, but today would have been my parents' wedding anniversary. Which will be funnier to you when you know what I want to talk about today.
I think I may have given up on the desire to be in a romantic relationship.
This is not a sad thing to me, nor a loss. I actually find it kind of freeing to honestly not care about actively pursuing a relationship. Now, it's true that this feeling may change over time and I may once again find myself pining for an imaginary boyfriend. But right now, I really don't want one and I am very happy not having one.
If we think about this, it makes a lot of sense. I'm always miserable in relationships and find myself looking for a way out as quick as I found a way in. I always pursue the wrong sort of guy. Romantic relationships just aren't my thing. Never have been. So why do I keep trying to force myself into one?
There is also the fact that I am insanely busy. I have a lot on my plate as I've just gone through a very big life change and I'm still adjusting to my new life in a lot of ways. Looking for a relationship on top of everything else is just too much. A stress I don't need or want. And as odd as it may sound, I'm fine with removing that stress from my plate entirely.
The lovely side effect of deciding I don't need or want a relationship, though, is being able to interact with everyone around me on a very human level. I'm not flirting with an endgame in mind, I'm just talking. I'm not playing the game of "should I call or should I text," I'm just talking. I'm not secretly sizing people up to see if they'd be a suitable partner, I'm just getting to know people. It's wonderful. Wooooon-derful, as my mom and her family would say.
So yeah. I've given up wanting a romantic relationship and I am thrilled with this decision.
Which means I will probably meet my life partner in the next two weeks. Such is life.
Monday, October 13, 2014
October 13 - Opening Night
Tonight is opening night for my first show in New York City.
I moved here forty-three days ago, and tonight, I am opening a show in New York City.
Let me say that again: I moved here forty-three days ago and tonight, I am opening a show in New York City.
I realize that my entire acting career will not go like this. I realize that there will still be shows that I love more than others, casts I treasure and casts that fade into memory over time. There will be dry spells and moments of desperation and moments of doubt when I find myself wondering if I made the right choice moving 1000 miles away from everything familiar to try to pursue my dreams.
But right now, in today, I'm going to enjoy the fact that I moved here forty-three days ago and I am opening a show tonight. I am going to enjoy my fellow cast members on stage, I am going to enjoy the language and the accents. I am going to go to the theatre tonight after work to do the thing I that I do, and I am going to let myself be completely giddy in the knowledge that I get to do what I love.
Next week I will think about how strange it feels to only be working on two plays at the same time instead of three...
I moved here forty-three days ago, and tonight, I am opening a show in New York City.
Let me say that again: I moved here forty-three days ago and tonight, I am opening a show in New York City.
I realize that my entire acting career will not go like this. I realize that there will still be shows that I love more than others, casts I treasure and casts that fade into memory over time. There will be dry spells and moments of desperation and moments of doubt when I find myself wondering if I made the right choice moving 1000 miles away from everything familiar to try to pursue my dreams.
But right now, in today, I'm going to enjoy the fact that I moved here forty-three days ago and I am opening a show tonight. I am going to enjoy my fellow cast members on stage, I am going to enjoy the language and the accents. I am going to go to the theatre tonight after work to do the thing I that I do, and I am going to let myself be completely giddy in the knowledge that I get to do what I love.
Next week I will think about how strange it feels to only be working on two plays at the same time instead of three...
Sunday, October 12, 2014
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