Okay, so I have a Facebook profile now. I don't know how long I'll maintain it, but it's up there. Yay. And apparently, there is some application on Facebook that allows you to buy your friends as pets. I'm not quite sure I get it, or what the point is, but it's there and today, I was bought.

Surprisingly, I'm a little miffed that I was bought. I'm a little miffed at who bought me, but also, just the general principle of being purchased...and I was purchased for $550. Apparently I'm only worth $550.

Now, in high school, one of my friends sold me to another one of my friends when we were in Morocco for 80 camels. This was in 1994. Let's assume that the Moroccan inflation rate has stayed at about 3% since then. This would make my current going rate just over 121 camels. Let's say a really good camel goes for $5,000, that would make my going rate $605,031.15. Significantly more than the $550 this guy bought me for on Facebook.

I'll be he doesn't even feed me.

I'm so worth more than $550.

So we all know I have body image issues, like most women in America. And most men in America. And probably lots of people elsewhere, too. It's just the way our culture works. And I think we also all know that I've done a bunch of things in my time to try to fight what I look like all together. I don't wear colors so I won't stand out. I mess with photographs of myself so I always look goofy. That kind of thing. All in an effort to get people to pay attention to the person, not the body she's in.

The strange thing is, it seems to be working. There were several people at the event over the weekend who didn't recognize me when I said hello or asked them to dance. But as soon as I reminded them of my name, it was like sensory recall. They remembered, for lack of a better word, my aura. Who I was, what we did oh so many years ago (and get your mind out of the gutter - I'm talking about dancing or tooling around London or whatever), and what I meant back then. If you look at it one way, it's a little depressing - I have an utterly forgettable face. But if you look at it another way, it's really flattering - my personality kind of transcends my physicality. Which is exactly what I was going for.

Kind of an odd take on the "glass half-empty or half-full" question, isn't it?

So I'm realizing that I used to write about interesting things in here, or at least things that weren't all whiny and poor me and all that stuff. It's funny - I get annoyed with myself for getting all girlie about things and then I fill this blog with feelings and boys and crap. I need to make a shift back to randomness.

But first, a tidbit about San Francisco. I've been there twice now and had an amazing time on both trips. Thank you to my hosts for letting me stay - it was really fantastic to see you. But I don't know that I would ever be motivated to move to San Francisco. I don't know if I don't think I'm outdoorsy enough, or that I'm not big on constant fog, or if that it's a matter of the level of dirtyness of the city. Which seems kind of silly because I love New York which smells of garbage every night. Or maybe it's the hills. I wonder if that's where the shin splinty feeling came from - walking up and down too many hills. Flat may be aesthetically dull, but it certainly makes walking faster. The food in San Francisco is excellent, as is the tea, but I think it's more a good place for me to visit so I can come home to Chicago to live.

Chicago. Sweet Chicago. My cat missed me lots and lots and lots. It was kind of cute, until he still wanted scritching at four in the morning. For future reference, always take the day after a vacation off of work. Good for healing the shins.

So I start thinking that I should go out dancing more often again because really, it is a lot of fun. And then I remember that these types of exchanges are a sort of heightened reality for swing dancing. You put all the best dancers in the country in a room for a weekend and of course you're going to want to dance more. But then you go out in your own town and all of the people from your own town are there, playing the same silly games they always did, stuck in the same odd, incestuous world you left so many years ago to find something else going on in your life. I dunno.

I should probably rest my shins.

So basically, it was what I expected. A great weekend. Lots more dancing than I thought I was going to do. Found some really amazing dancers who I hadn't met before, realized I still remember how to dance, and reconnected with some dancers who I know from way back in the day when the thought of leaving the dance at 3:30 instead of 5 am was ludicrous. I got a little bit of a sunburn because we walked on the Golden Gate Bridge today. The boy who I wished would give a rat's ass that I was there didn't. Which is probably better because it means I can get over it and stop romanticizing about "what if." And people who I wouldn't have thought would give a rat's ass that I was there did. Which was nice. It's comforting to know that even though we don't necessarily talk regularly, these people are still my friends.

And I'm tired now. I'm ready to be back in my home. I'm ready to not wear shoes for a day and I'm ready to sleep in. I'm ready to stop being sweaty and gross. And I might just be ready to stop feeling sorry for myself and get on with things.

Maybe.

Okay, great vegan food and amazing tea to be had in San Francisco. I mean really, great tea. And I am, fortunately, staying with exactly the right people to be able to enjoy the tea in San Francisco. Makes me think I should go out for tea more at home.

And this is before even a lot of the dancing has happened. Last night was a precursor to the main events, and there were a lot of people out who I haven't seen in years, and a lot of people who won't be going out tonight or tomorrow, so that was fun, in that I got to dance with people I probably wouldn't get to dance with otherwise. The music was great, my shoes were nice and slippery. It was a really fun night.

I'm excited for tonight, and nervous. But some of my favorite Chicago people will be there, too. I found online some video footage of me dancing with one of these favorite Chicago people and that was kind of fun to watch. Sad, in that it proves that I've had a large behind for quite some time, but fun to watch anyway because we dance goofy together.

Anyway. I'm also really really really hoping that Ike isn't too hard on Texas. I love some people in Houston very very much and would be devastated if their lives were disrupted, ruined, or lost. So please send whatever good energy you can to the Galveston/Houston area so that the destruction isn't too severe. Come on, Ike. Be nice.

Greetings from San Francisco. All I can say is that I am SO happy to be here. It's just nice to have a change of scenery every now and again, you know?

Thank you mostly to my hosts who are letting me stay on their couch/fold out bed thingy for a couple of nights. This place rocks. But now, seeing as it is about 3:30am my time and I've been up since 6am yesterday my time, I think I should be getting some sleep. Sleep is good. It is not for the week, like some folks think it is. It's for the smart who know that they are going to be dancing like idiots for the next 72 hours-ish.

Good night from the left coast!

I'm going to San Francisco this weekend, just for a little time away. I have all of these romantic notions about what would be really fun if it happened, but in all truth, I'm probably just going to hang out with my friends, dance a little, and come home. I'm looking for kind of a low key weekend. I think I need it. Take a brief trip to the green world and come back ready to be me again. I've been thinking a lot lately about who that is and there are some things that I really really love about her. A few things I'm not crazy about, but a lot of really good things. For example:

I'm the girl who sings along with her iPod.
I'm the girl whose friends can count on her when they really need her.
I'm the girl with a bunch of great stories.
I'm the girl who is doing as much as she can to make the world a little better.
I'm the girl with the really strange laugh.
I'm the girl who can find the humor in just about any situation.

And maybe when I get back, I'll be prepared to say a few more nice things about myself. Honestly, it's making me a little uncomfortable at the moment, even though I know it's good for me.

One more thing about the Presidential races.

Both sides lie and give us half-truths. A co-worker of mine pointed me to FactCheck.org, which is a non-partisan website dedicated to debunking the statements made by both parties. It's kind of fun to read, especially after some of the bigger speeches are made, i.e. Obama's acceptance speech, Palin's speech (they haven't posted about McCain's speech yet), etc. And what I am learning from this website is that neither side is giving the full story. But the Democrats are being a bit more honest than the Republicans. And that the Republicans, who seem to be focusing the majority of their energies on trying to discredit Obama, are doing so with blatant falsehoods. Obama may be stretching the truth and padding his record, but most of his statements have a least a grain of truth in them.

Please, go read the stuff for yourself. Pay attention to both sides and make your decision based on the actual information, not what the TV ads are telling you. Please. This is important.

Okay, I hate politics, but I feel like I need to say something. I know that this entry is going to piss a lot of people off, but please keep in mind that these are my opinions when you look at things from my perspective. I am the first to admit that I could be wrong. But these are my opinions when you look at things from my perspective.

Okay, let's do a quick run-down of the two sides:

One of them is anti-abortion, even in the case of rape or incest. The other would examine the situations on a case-by-case basis.

One candidate is on his second wife who he publicly called a trollop and a c*$^. The other is still married to his first wife.

One of them believes that women should get equal pay for equal work. The other voted down measures that would allow for just that.

One of them believes in exploring renewable energy sources. The other thinks the feasibility of renewable energy sources is so far off in the future that we should open up the Alaskan wildlife now to allow for more oil drilling - oil that won't hit the market for years and that will last about six months.

One side consists of a relatively inexperienced candidate who has served as a State senator and a United States senator, backed by a candidate with years of experience in foreign policy and whatnot. The other side consists of the oldest candidate ever to possibly be elected with years of foreign policy experience and whatnot, backed by a candidate who governed a town of 9,000 people until just recently when she became the governor of her state.

One side thinks our country has been doing fine for the last eight years. The other thinks we could do better.

You have probably figured out by now which side is which and how I feel about both of them. I can understand that if you are in the top 1% of Americans from a yearly income standpoint, how you might not want to vote for Obama because he's going to tax the bejesus out of you. McCain, however, will give you tax breaks, while increasing taxes on the people who already have nothing. I can understand how if you're in the top income brackets, McCain makes sense. If I ask you if you are better off now than you were 8 years ago, chances are that you would say yes and a stay-the-course president is just who you're looking for at the moment.

However, there are a LOT of people out there who aren't in the top income brackets who have sunk further and further into debt as food and fuel costs rise. Ask them if they're better off than they were 8 years ago and they will vehemently reply that they're not. If you are one of those people...my sympathies are with you. And I think it is also pretty clear to see which presidential candidate's sympathies are with you. Please make sure you are registered to vote, and please make sure you go out and vote. We have a chance to change things here, and I think we should take advantage of that opportunity.

Okay, I'm done. For the moment. Let the barrage of hate-emails begin.

There is something inherently sexy about a man in a suit. Yes, men can look really great in a t-shirt and jeans, too, but a man in a suit...I'm not sure what it is. Probably that men's suits are designed to highlight all of the things that are wonderful about the male form.

I do think, however, that someone needs to teach men how a suit is supposed to fit because I see a very large number of men walking around in suits that are too big. These men are mostly young men, fresh out of college, who probably got some sort of sales position at some company, maybe selling toner door to door or making business to business visits to talk about IT needs, and were told that they had to wear suits because let's face it, are you going to talk about your IT or toner needs with someone who isn't even wearing a suit? So they go out and pick up a suit in whatever style happens to be in at the moment - for a while it was three button jackets which can be really fun, but you have to be of a certain body type to pull that off, just like double breasted suits. Fat men should not wear double breasted suits - it makes them look quadrupled breasted. Short men should not wear three button jackets because they get lost in them. And these men buy suits that are too long in the arms because they're used to wearing t-shirts that cover their hands so they can do the brooding sensitive guy thing. And they buy suits that are too wide in the shoulders so they can hopefully make themselves look more masculine by having wider shoulders, but what they fail to realize is that we can all see that the shoulder pads are hanging down near his elbows and he ends up looking like a kid playing dress up in daddy's suit.

Sleeves should be just a tad longer than the wrist. The shoulder seam should hit at the actual shoulder - the outside of the shoulder bump. The length of the jacket should be no longer than the fingertips. With possible exceptions to these guidelines based on the man's actual measurements/proportions.

So go forth, young men, and buy your suits so you can feel like important sales people. But first, listen to the man trying to sell you a suit and have it tailored. Trust me. I'm much more apt to buy toner from a well-dressed man than from a kid trying to grow up too fast.

One year ago today I went to probably the best wedding I've ever been to - my brother's. I don't know if I can even explain how crazy insane great the wedding was, so I think I'll not even try. But I do want to say Happy Anniversary to my brother and sister in law. One year down, a lifetime of joy to go. I love you guys!

Hi,

So I want to write about just sort of things in general and give an update about what's been going on. My hair is getting longer (I can put it in two very sad pigtails, but still), we auditioned a guitarist last night, I recorded a radio podcast with my full (former) band this week that was great and I can't wait for you all to be able to hear it, I love Mark DeRosa, I'm going to San Francisco in a couple of weeks and am very excited, but all of that stuff needs to be kind of pushed to the side so I can talk about something else today.

I don't understand stealing. I know someone who was robbed in the middle of the night. He woke up and heard the intruder and ended up tackling the guy in the street, but the guy still got away with some of his stuff. And I just don't understand it. I have a right to my stuff, but I don't have a right to anyone else's stuff. And yes, it is just stuff and most of it is replaceable, but the residual feeling left in your house after some random person breaks in and goes rummaging through your personal belongings...that takes a long time to shake.

I know why a lot of people steal. They have nothing and they see someone with something and the imbalance pisses them off, so they take it. And/or, they are desperate and think of it as a means of survival. But you know what? Often times, that desperation is the result of addiction or squandering one's own possessions or general laziness or something that the thief technically has control over. Yes, it is much harder to go get a job and earn money and purchase your own stuff, but just because you're strung out on crack needing a fix doesn't mean you are allowed to break into somebody's home and take their stuff. You fucked up your own life; don't fuck up someone else's. Go get help. Go to a shelter. Hell, get arrested and go to trial - you'll probably get put into a rehab program where they feed you and clothe you and give you a shower to use whenever you want and will help you get your life back to a place where you don't have to break into people's houses and steal stuff.

Sorry. I don't mean to be ranty, but it pisses me off. I try to live my life in such a way as to inconvenience and/or harm other people/animals/living things as little as possible and it just irritates the hell out of me that there are other people out there who go out of their way to hurt others without thinking twice about it.

Okay, I'm done.

The thing is, I know I will find other band mates. I know that there is a very good chance that the music will sound better when I do. I know that I am still a musician and that people still like to hear me play and that I'm still an artist.

That doesn't stop the hurting right now. That doesn't change the fact that there were so many more people who were supposed to hear us play who didn't. That doesn't change the fact that I now have to try to find those other musicians and I have absolutely no idea how long that will take.

I can't and don't blame the guys for wanting to do something else. I kind of saw it coming. And I wish them all the luck in the world. I truly love them and want good things for them, so if they'd be happier in another band, then be in another band, you know? But I truly love them and am going to miss them terribly. I already do.

So thank you for the messages of "you'll find other musicians" and "I still love your songs." They mean a lot to me. But right now, I just need to be upset about this. I don't need help finding a solution. I just need to feel like crap for a little while. I'll be fine in the long run; I think we all know that. I just need to be hurt right now.

Thanks.

I wonder what it's like to be striped. My cat is striped, as are most tabbys, tigers, zebras, some snakes, some spiders, some fish. Leopards and giraffes and dalmations have it even weirder with being spotted. I wonder what it is like to be permanently striped or spotted. What if you wake up one morning and don't want to be striped? What if you want to be solid one day? Just for a day? What with being an animal and everything, you don't really have the option to put on a jumpsuit. Unless you're a Yorkie. What's with people putting sweaters on their Yorkies? And why don't you ever see someone put a sweater on, say, their Alaskan huskie?

So my cat is striped. Does it help in his cleaning process? Like, does he know that he's already cleaned up to this stripe, so when he does that weird stretchy leg thing, he knows where to start?

And personally, I think my cat's stripes are beautiful. And I don't think it's just because I really only want to wear black, white, gray, and maybe muted colors, but I really wouldn't want to be permanently striped. I wouldn't want to be permanently garish like that. Yet another reason to not wear animals. As if I needed another one.

Okay, so I'm going to play devil's advocate here for a minute.

I was talking to a coworker today saying that I really don't like dating and my coworker replied that dating isn't one of those things that any of us actually likes, it's one of those things we have to do in order to meet someone. So for the sake of playing devil's advocate, I asked why we have to meet someone. The words kind of fell out of my mouth before I could stop them, but then I had to think about them. You might have to meet someone if you want to procreate. Unless you're female -- you can go to a sperm bank and do things yourself. And there are tax breaks if you pair off. Is that it? Is that what we get out of relationships?

I kind of hope that there is more to a good relationship than the possibility of procreation and a tax break. I'm pretty sure that there is. I have some of the greatest friends a person could ask for and I get a lot out of our relationships -- humor, support, stimulation, love. And I sit and wonder what it is that I would want from a relationship that I'm not getting from these friendships and mostly, it boils down to the physical. I love my friends, but we're not going to make out. And while there are many stores dedicated to making sure that men and women can enjoy themselves without a partner, none of their offerings allow one to make out with oneself. It's just one of those physical impossibilities and let's be honest, kissing is fun. So if my emotional, spiritual and intellectual needs are being met through my various friendships, am I really just looking for someone to make out with? Is it possible that my current needs are that shallow? Though if that is the case, should I feel bad about seeking out a partner who is just plain hot?

I'm sounding really awful. Sorry about that. Please keep in mind that I'm playing devil's advocate. Why do we have to find someone to partner up with?

Hi.

Okay, so I have a question that is probably going to drive horror movie fans a little bit batty. But just bear with me. I do have some logical points.

In horror movies, zombies and/or persons raised from the dead or reanimated are always angry, stupid, and eager to attack those still living. Up until just a couple of years ago, they were always slow, too. Yet, if you ever read accounts of real people in horrible accidents who were pronounced dead but chose to walk away from the light, they are, for the most part, thankful to be alive and treasuring every moment they have on this earth. They are eager to help others and to spread joy and peace and talk about the sanctity of life. They retain at least most of their understanding of their native language and have this strange sort of peace about them.

So why is it that reanimated persons/animals in movies are always so angry? Is it just for dramatic effect? Because if so, I think reanimated persons/animals are getting a really bad rep and someone should start an organization for the rights of those reanimated to make sure they are represented properly in mass media.

Yeah, I've been watching Buffy again. Sorry.

So it's tornado night, oh what a night
So it's tornado night, oh what a night

See, we all thought we were going to Wrigley Field on 70's night, but as it turned out, it was tornado night. The sky turned black and it started raining and they told us all to go down to the concourse level because of severe weather warnings and such and then the tornado sirens started going off and they closed the gates so we couldn't leave and it got hot and really loud and they kept trying to make announcements but we couldn't hear anything because let's be honest, 40,000 people crammed into a small space after a lot of them have been drinking for two to three hours can get really loud and after about a half an hour they opened the gates and people started going like they were going to leave but then they'd see the rain and stay in and finally my friend and I just left. We pushed our way out and walked home. In the rain. Or perhaps in the drizzle. It wasn't so bad by the time we left, but I was damp by the time I got home and we got to see some really amazing lightening.

So the long and the short of it is that we're fine. I have another fun adventure story now, this one related to Wrigley Field. And all things considered, I think it was handled pretty well. Wherever you are, I hope you're safe and dry.

Okay, Angel is hot, Spike is beautiful, I'd date Oz, and Drusilla drives me nuts.

And call me crazy, but after a day of watching a vampire-based television show, I find it a little bit odd that I go downstairs to take one load of laundry out of the dryer and put the next one in to find the lint screen sitting on top of the dryer. Which means someone went down into the laundry room, opened the dryer, took out the lint screen, put it on top of the dryer, started the dryer back up again (assuming that the cycle wasn't done yet) and left. Who does that? They didn't even start their own laundry -- my stuff was the only stuff down there. And suddenly, there is also a soda machine in our laundry room. It's been a couple of weeks since I was down there, but a soda machine? In our laundry room? That probably only about four people in the building actually use? Really?

Okay, so puppies are exhausting. And they're not even puppies. But three dogs with very different personalities take a lot of time and attention and energy. It's fun, but takes a lot of energy.

And I have a confession to make. This weekend, I was going to try that crazy juice diet thing, where for 48 hours you pretty much drink nothing but juice and water and you're not supposed to eat. Thing is, I like to eat. I like the act of chewing. I like the flavors and textures of food.

Which brings me back to every woman's internal struggle - how to enjoy life and try to fit into society's image of what is attractive. I've gained a couple of pounds lately. I don't know that anyone else would even notice, but I do. So I worry about it and think I should go on the crazy 48 hour pseudo-starvation juice diet because else than that, I can't seem to stop eating. But I look around me at all of the women in the city and they are of so many shapes and sizes and colors and they're all beautiful and I wonder how many of them are currently starving themselves or binging and purging or living only on salads, never allowing themselves to enjoy a chocolate chip cookie. I want to allow myself the joy of a chocolate chip cookie because I think that our societal body image issues are insane. So I tried the juice diet until about 4pm when I had a bunch of salad. And it was fantastic. I might have to eat some olives now. I'll just find another way to keep my weight in check, without putting my body into starvation mode.

Rabbit rabbit! Happy August!

And it is a very happy August as it starts off with the Cubs having just swept the Brewers. Yay!

But that's not what I wanted to talk about today. Today's entry could be titled, if I did titles, "Keen and Not-So-Keen." As in, things I am keen on, and things I am not-so-keen on.

I'm not so keen on Brazil nuts. I know they are actually seeds and maybe that explains the texture, but I've decided that out of all of the nuts, Brazil nuts are probably my least favorite. I'll still eat them if I buy a package of mixed nuts containing Brazil nuts, but instead of seeking them out like I would with cashews or almonds, I'll eat one or two and then try to avoid the rest until the next time I eat mixed nuts.

I'm not so keen on people who mis-hear my name when I introduce myself. I know that most people don't personally know someone named Kitty, but they probably know at least a dozen Katies, Katys, Kathys, Kellys, and Kates. However, I firmly believe that there is a big difference between the soft "i" sound in "Kitty" and the hard "a" sound in "Katie" or "Katy" or "Kate." To not hear that difference implies that whoever I'm talking to really isn't listening, which makes me kind of sad. And the worst are the people for whom I spell my name, say when I'm placing a take-out order over the phone, and they still get it wrong. "Name?" "Kitty. K-I-T-T-Y." "K-A..." "No, K-I-T-T-Y." "K-A-T-T-Y." Fuck you. I answered the phone at work the other day and introduced myself and the woman on the other end said, "Hi, Jenny, my name is..." and proceeded to have a conversation with my imaginary identical twin sister Jenny. My name really isn't that difficult to figure out. It's what we tell our children to call small cats. And even just out of courtesy, you could listen to what I say when I tell you my name. If you tell me your name is Achmed, I don't assume you said Aaron, just because I don't know any other Achmeds, you know?

I am very keen on this company that makes frozen dinner type things called Amy's. The company apparently started when this very busy working couple had children and wanted fast, easy meal options, but they were horrified at all of the preservatives and sodium and whatnot in most frozen dinners. So they started making their own. And they are so tasty! Mostly organic, lots of them are vegan, there are complete meals, or just elements of meals. I just had their tofu scramble breakfast with hash browns and tomatoes and it was so good! And you can find their products in most grocery stores now. Just go to the frozen section where the Boca burgers are and stuff.

I am keen on puppies. I get to dog-sit these three really fun dogs this weekend and I'm looking forward to some good puppy time. I am, of course, also very keen on my cat, but that goes without saying.

I am not so keen on money. It's horrible that we need it and what people will do to get it. And as Douglas Adams pointed out, we pass around these little pieces of paper in the hopes that we will be happier if we move these little pieces of paper around, but really, it's not the little pieces of paper that were unhappy to begin with. It would make much more sense to move ourselves around. Or something to that effect. It's been a while since I read that book. It's a good one.

I am keen on my bed. It's a good place to be. As of late, I've become the sort who sleeps in the whole bed, sometimes diagonally. I think it might be messing with my cat a little bit because he doesn't have "his spot" anymore, but he hasn't been sleeping in my room very much lately anyway. It's too hot.

So yeah, I think that's good for now. There are plenty of other things that I am keen on and not so keen on, but this will do for now. I mostly wanted to get the Brazil nut thing out of my system.