And Bubbles is the best Powerpuff Girl.

Followed by Buttercup.

No offense, Blossom.

Have you ever admired someone from afar and sort of built up in your mind how funny and intelligent and charming they must be? And then you get a chance to actually meet said person and talk to said person and hang out with said person and said person turns out to be just as charming and intelligent and funny as you hoped they would be?

Yeah.

*sigh*

Hi.

So the thing is this: in a lot of ways, Christmas has just sort of lost it's luster for me. I know, it's a terrible thing to say, but it's true. I don't do most of the things I did as a child and haven't done most of them for many years. We don't bake and decorate a million cookies. I don't get a tree. I don't even put lights up in my house because my cat will chew the wires. We used to go to a tableaux service at church that I haven't been to in over ten years, I'm sure. And then this year, both my grandmother and my dad moved out of the houses that I have spent Christmas Eve and Christmas in for the past I don't even remember how many years. We've tried to start some new traditions within my family as my family has changed and I enjoy some of them (our white elephant gift exchange, for example), but this year in particular was a year of a very new Christmas for me and it just didn't feel like Christmas. And somewhere along the way, I don't remember exactly when, but it became uncool in my family to want to open presents. We had to wait and be patient so as to not appear greedy. Which I can understand, to a certain extent. And to be perfectly honest, there isn't a whole lot that I want that one can put in a box and tie a ribbon around. But when nobody in the family wants to open presents (or admit that they want to open presents), it also takes some of the joy out of giving presents away. I want my family to be excited about the things that I'm giving them. I know I don't have a lot to give, but I do try to give gifts with some meaning to them and a lot of love behind them, and it's fun when you give somene a gift and their face lights up. Or when you are a kid and you see one really big gift under the tree and you wonder who it is for and what's inside it until you just can't take it anymore and somebody has to open it. I miss that. I miss the joy and the excitement and the wonder that was Christmas when I was a child.

I think things will change when I have a family of my own. I can begin to create new traditions that feel like home to me with my own children and I can experience the excitement and the joy through the eyes of a child again and maybe I'll get back into the holiday. But as it is, it's a day wherein I don't have to work, which is nice. And I get to see my family, which is nice. And we exchange gifts, which is nice. But it's not a magical day anymore. It's not a day I look forward to all year. And I know it is supposed to be a celebration of Christ's birth, but he was born sometime in the middle of summer, as near as we can tell, if you look at things from an historical perspective, so it's even a little hard to get behind that one. And I know it's supposed to be a time of year to let the people that you love know that you love them, but I try to do that all the time. Tell my family and friends and you guys one some random Tuesday in April that you mean the world to me. So I dunno. I'm sorry to be a downer, but Christmas just doesn't do a lot for me anymore. I hope that changes. I miss the magic of it. I miss the excitement. I miss the feeling of home.

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas. Or, if you don't celebrate Christmas, I hope you all had a really nice day on Tuesday. And the rest of the week/month/year for that matter.

Happy New Year.

So we played our last show of the year last night and I have to say, it was pretty great. One of my friends went home with a screaming slingshot monkey. My mom sang two songs with us and totally stole the show. And we debuted a new song that met wiht a lot of really positive feedback. It was really a great way to end 2007 for the band. Here's hoping 2008 is even better!

I do have one sort of downer thing to talk about, though. I don't even know how many people I asked to come see this show, in emails, with phone calls, giving out flyers, all that kind of stuff. And while I didn't expect the strangers who just saw a poster in some store to show up, there are a lot of people who I at one time or another considered to be my very good friends who weren't there. Who haven't been there for years now. Granted, one could make the argument that I don't participate in their lives anymore either, but when one is never invited to participate, how is one supposed to know when to step in? So today I deleted 58 email addresses from my address book. It's always sad when you switch over from one group of friends to another, but it's one of those things that has to happen, you know? Because otherwise, I will continue to invite these totally disinterested parties to be a part of my life, they will continue to be completely unresponsive, and I will continue to be disappointed and hurt. I have to say, it felt kind of good to get rid of the addresses. Cleansing in a way. I think it will make for a good start to the new year -- at least I won't be intentionally setting myself up for heartache.

But thank you to everyone who did come out to see the show last night. And to everyone who has been to see my band play in the past. 2008...it's going to be a great year. We're going into the studio in January, we've got potential gigs on the horizon already...it's going to be great.

So, it's been a crazy week. I've been doing three people's jobs for the past couple of days and I'm a little nuts because of it, but I told my boss that if I survive into next year, somebody owes me a cookie. It has been kind of fun in the "push yourself to the limit to see how much you can handle" kind of a way, but it's also been exhausting. Which is why I'm looking forward to the long holiday weekend.

That, and I have a gig tomorrow night that I am totally geeked for. I just hope a lot of people show up.

I got my hair cut on Wednesday and I have to say, I'm not diggin' it so much. I have Joan Jett's hair, which I think worked for Joan Jett in the late 70's/early 80's, but I'm not sure it works on me, especially with red hair. This hair style needs black hair. And a serious drug problem. I have neither, so I'm going to go back tonight and get it cut off. It's going to be drastic, but that's okay. Not shave-my-head drastic, but drastic. People will be able to see my tattoo, I'm thinking. And I'm good with that.

But yeah, the holidays. I've been so busy this year, I haven't really been able to get into the holiday spirit. I did a lot of my shopping online, and I've been taking the train to work, so I haven't had a whole lot to do with the holiday hustle and bustle. But I do want to let all of you out there know that I'm glad you're in my life. I hope you have a wonderful, happy, and safe holiday season, whichever combination of holidays you choose to celebrate, and I look forward to chatting with you (even though it's kind of one-way) for many years to come.

So I think I'm actually in decent shape, holiday-wise. Most of my shopping is done. Or at least most of the shopping I'm actually going to do. It occurred to me that I could go buy a billion ornaments to have as back-up gifts should I need one, but then I decided to just bake for the people in my office instead. That idea makes me much happier. So yeah, I have stuff for people, which is a good place to be a week out. I'd like to get a couple more little somethings, and I'm waiting on a bunch of somethings to show up in the mail, but I think I'm in good shape.

How are you all doing? Staying warm? Is there snow where you are? There's plenty here if you'd like some. Just pop on by and take a truck load home. I don't think anyone would mind.

Running up stairs in 4" heels is neigh on impossible.

So I think there is something wrong with the boiler in my building that controls the heat -- it's been on almost non-stop for about 24 hours. Meaning when I woke up this morning, it was about 90 degrees Farenheit in my apartment. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. As we all know, I'd rather be too hot. I'm just saying. Hooray for a screwy boiler. Until it explodes and we don't get any heat at all. That's gonna suck.

Hooray, I'm awake at two o'clock in the morning!

Kidding, of course. Not about the being awake bit, but about the hooray bit. I'm not very pleased with my state of consciousness at the moment.

I have a lot that I need to do and a lot that I want to do and they aren't quite matching up right now, which is kind of irritating. I need to go Christmas shopping. I need to get more clothes to wear to work. I need to learn everything there is to know about my new job from someone who does not volunteer information, even if it is known to be helpful information. I need to clean my house. I need to spend time with my friends. I need to get my phone number to a certain person who I'm kind of afraid doesn't want it and I'm not sure I want to know that this person doesn't want it. I need to promote my show more. I need to get in gear for the musical I'm directing in the spring. I need to clean my house (yes, I know I already said that, but it's that bad). Yet lately, all it seems I want to do is sleep. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that we moved at work and I changed jobs and all of that kind of stuff -- by the time I get home, I'm just wiped. I'm stressed out all day, worried that I'm not doing enough or that I'm not doing the right things, and worried that I'm going to be late to work ('cuz I have to take three trains to get there, or two buses, or some combination of trains and buses), and worried that it's going to take me forever to get home ('cuz it takes me two trains to get home, or two buses, or some combination of trains and buses). And I'm worried that not enough people will show up to my show on the 22nd, and I'm worried that my hair is looking like crap, and I'm worried that I'm eating too much and I'm worried that one day, my heat won't come on anymore and I'm worried that since I'm not driving every day anymore that my doors are going to freeze and fall off again and I'm worried that my friends are annoyed with me because I keep not hanging out with them and I'm really worried that not enough people are going to show up on the 22nd.

I know it won't be the end of the world if we don't meet our quota. But I really want to meet it. Exceed it. I want people to start to take notice of the fact that this is a really great project I have going, largely because I don't want to disappoint my band mates. But that's a whole other thing.

So I come home after work, eat dinner, and fall asleep. It's becoming this pattern. And if I know anything, it is that things change -- I will not be in this pattern forever. I will, someday, stop feeling totally inept at work and the stress level will go down. I will develop a new pattern that I will then want to get out of. But my current pattern has me awake at two o'clock in the morning on a fairly regular basis. I hope that changes soon.

Whereever you are, I hope you are sleeping well and having lovely dreams.

I got a mention!

So many of you know that I did the costumes for a show called "7 Santas" this year. Threw together seven Santa outfits (each one different, four built completely from scratch) in about two week. Well, the Chicago Tribune reviewed the show and even though they weren't crazy about the script, they did have this to say about the production from a design standpoint:

"In most Christmas stories, Santa Claus never really develops into much of a character, so Goode's take feels especially fresh. And director Robert Bouwman along with costume designer Kitty Mortland (who gives each Santa a distinctive look) do a nice job creating an alternative universe populated by out-of-control Kringles."

I got a mention!

Toasting bread in a frying pan is not an exact science.

So I've decided that I really don't like dating. The prospect of dating kind of gives me the heebie jeebies and I'm trying to figure out exactly why. I think it boils down to sex. Because, see, in this day and age, when someone says, "I would like to date you," the underlying subtext, 9 times out of 10 is, "I would like to spend time with you in the hopes of getting in your pants." And that, to me, is an odd statement to make. What if I don't want you in my pants? Or what if the jury is still out? Will you wait through three weeks of deliberations before there is a verdict? And what are you going to do in those three weeks? Will every conversation center around sexual innuendo? Or will all of your actions be focused on showing me what a great, wonderful, trustworthy guy you are? Because both of those choices just reinforce the fact that ultimately, you want to get in my pants. So all of that crap makes me feel ooky. And not in the good way.

I was talking to my best guy friend the other day and I said I wonder what kind of conversations I would have if I was a guy. For example, now when I play a show, I come off stage, say hi to my friends, and often times, some guy will offer to buy me a drink and will start chatting me up. I am willing to bet dollars to donuts that wouldn't happen if I was a guy. Maybe it would be some girl chatting me up, wanting to get close to the guy who was just on stage, but in that respect, I'm a guy. I probably want to nail her anyway, so maybe it wouldn't bother me. But would any men come up to me after a show and say, "Hey, man, great tunes. You see the new [insert your favorite band here] album yet?" And then how does the rest of the conversation go? I guess my question is, how do guys talk to each other when they're not hitting on one another? And why don't men ever talk to me like that? Call me crazy, but I think if I was thought of as a person, a musician, a talented performer instead of a hot female musican/talented performer, I would find that to be a huge turn-on. Maybe this goes along with my own issues of I prefer the chase to the actual prize, or my I-want-what-I-can't-have thing, or my general feeling that it can be hard to be taken seriously as a woman, but yeah. I just want to be thought of as a person. I don't want to know that you want to get in my pants. Not until sometime after I've decided that I want to get into yours.

I really am insane, huh?