Ah, Cubbies.

I've caught the ends of a couple televised spring training games so far this year, but it's a little strange to watch because I don't join the game until after all the guys I recognize have been taken out. But tonight, I'm watching the beginning of a spring training game and it's like catching up with old friends. My favorite players are out there, along with a few new faces. But to see Mikey and Derek and Todd and A-Ram...*sigh* It's so good to have my boys in blue back. Even if they are losing in the second inning. I didn't realize how much I missed Derek Lee's swing. Or Todd Walker's scruffiness. Or Mike Barrett. *sigh*

Opening day is Monday. I SO can't wait!

Okay, so I picked up a book on yoga last night and tried some of the poses this morning. Wow, did that feel good! I only did five or six poses (don't want to overexert on my first go around), but I figure if I add one or two new poses every day, I should be doing pretty well. And if I institute a yoga in the mornings, walk in the afternoons program, I should get in pretty good shape. I'm getting tired of sitting around my house so much and now that the weather's getting nice, I can walk outside, which is much more fun than walking in circles in my living room.

Though I have also thought about getting an exercise bike so I can ride while I watch/listen to Cubs games. I know, I know, I could use my real bicycle and take my Walkman with me to listen to games but frankly, riding in the city makes me nervous. I know too many people who have gotten injured in one way or another by riding bicycles in the city. Granted, I got hit by a car walking in the city, but sidewalks are generally safer than skimming a line of parked cars at 10-15 mph. But bike riders do have awesome asses and I'm pretty much convinced that if I'm ever going to get mine in any sort of shape besides round, I'm going to have to start riding. So an exercise bike that I can ride while I watch Cubs games -- that's 2-3 hours of riding on game days. I dunno. Just a thought.

I gotta get ready for work.

If you've not yet seen Thank You for Smoking, please go at your earliest convenience. Yes, Katie Holmes is in it. It's still a good movie! Just like Batman Begins. I swear, you don't even really have to pay attention during her scenes. And the rest of the film is just brilliant. Wonderful performances, great writing. Fantastic camera work. And no, it does not condone smoking. It does, kind of, condone free thought and making one's own decisions. *gasp* What a radical idea!

But in all honesty, it's a really fun movie and I would very highly recommend it. Though I think I may have to switch my vote for Most Awkward Sex Scene ever from the Halle Berry/Billy Bob Thorton scene in Monster's Ball to the one in this film. Just. Not. Pretty.

But go see the movie. You'll enjoy it. I promise.

Okay, so when I said I was ready for it to be so stinkin' hot you can't breathe, I didn't mean in my apartment. I meant outside. I want summertime, so I can go outside without a jacket. I would still like it cool enough in my apartment that I can sit motionless and not sweat. Yes, I have the windows open. No, I've not turned off the radiators because I can't find the nob on the one that's still pumping out enough heat for the entire building.

Okay, I'll stop complaining now. I do like being warm. I do like lying on my living room floor, too. Especially when my cat joins me. Have I mentioned lately how much I love him? 'Cuz I do. He's just so friggin' cute.

So that's twice now in two days that I've turned to go down a one-way street to find another car coming towards me. I know I'm going the right way down these streets; I've lived in this neighborhood for six years, and all of the parked cars on both sides of the streets are facing the same way I am. Which means twice in two days, I've encountered some ninny going the wrong way down a one-way street.

Asshats.

So as much as I would like to say that gettng hit by a car had no real negative ramificaitons (other than the odd paranoia that accompanies me every time I cross the street and there is a vehicle waiting to turn), but I might have to take that back. I went for a walk tonight, only about five miles, and my hip started to hurt by about mile four. The hip that took the impact of the collision. Yes, i got checked out by my doctor, but she didn't do any real invasive tests or anything. there could have been muscle bruising or something that she couldn't see and I couldn't feel and whatever. Now I can't walk as far as I used to. Without pain, that is.

At least I hope that's it. I'd hate to have to admit that I'm getting too old for this.

Okay, so clubbing is totally different when you're not trying to pick someone up.

Let me define terms here, real quick.

Clubbing is going out to some random bar where former frat boys and sorority girls go so they can relive their college days by listening to the same crappy music they used to back in the day, drink obscene quantities of beer, and hook up with some random person whose name they won't remember by the time they zip up their pants in the back room of the place.

Going out dancing is going to a club that plays good dance music and dancing there.

I went clubbing tonight. I've been clubbing before. I've never been horribly successful at clubbing because I always want it to be a night of going out dancing. And inevitably, the music sucks. And inevitably, the crowd makes me a little sad. But I will admit, there is usually one guy in the place who is cute. Really cute. In that depressed artist kind of a way, where you just want to take care of him and let him bear his soul and then shag him silly 'cuz you know someone that passionate has to be good. So you dance for him. You try really hard not to look at him, but you can't help it and your heart skips a little every time you catch him looking at you. And you try to look like you're a fun girl. You dance with your girlfriends to show that you'd be open to that kind of thing, but you give him the look that lets him know you're not exclusively into women. And you find the off beat and dance to that. You pull out moves you haven't done in years to show him on the dance floor that you would be amazing off the dance floor. And usually (at least in my experience), he leaves without a word. But for other women (or so I've heard), these across-the-room flirtations often wind up in make out fests on the dance floor that make the other patrons either sick or lonely, or if he's really cute and you're really drunk, you wind up waking up in some strange bed not quite sure where your underwear is, but confident in the fact that you can leave without it as long as you still have your ID and keys.

But tonight, I went out clubbing without the notion that such a flirtation/hook up was the goal. I went out clubbing honestly just to dance. It's been a long time since I either went out dancing or went clubbing and I had forgotten that such a mating ritual still exists. Random people humping one another willy nilly. Half-hour long make out sessions on a dance floor. Guys pimping out their bachelor friends. I completely forgot that the world works that way. And there I was, totally immersed in it and completely uninterested. Dancing for the joy of dancing. Or maybe for a guy who wasn't there. Certainly not for anyone who was. It was weird. Good, but weird.

Anyway. I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. I think I'll have a carob chip cookie and go to sleep.

Enjoy your night!

I like being in a band. And perhaps more importantly, I like being in this band. Which works out well because they like having me there, too.

So Owen and I have kind of gotten into this routine of taking a mid-afternoon nap on my couch together. I promise you, there is very little in this world that is nicer than taking a mid-afternoon nap on the couch with your cat. If you have the means, I highly suggest trying it out.

Mmm...pudding...

Hi, Slovenia! Welcome!

Okay, as Nice Guy Eddie would say, first things mutha fuckin' last.

I love my stylist. I can just go in there (with an appointment, of course, because he's very popular, talented and busy) and say, "Make me pretty" and he always does. He comes up with fun, flirty styles for me that still work for me, you know? And he's very personable and fun to talk to. I think he has fun playing with my hair, too. And he remembers who I am. Not just because he saw my name in the appointment book; he remembers what the last role I was working on was and so on and so forth. He's just...yeah. I never knew the value of a good stylist before and now I do. If you need somebody, let me know and I'll give you his name and number. He just rocks. He could turn me into a salon addict, who goes every month just to make herself feel good.

And I did a singing telegram today. I had so much fun doing it. Putting the whole thing together. Writing the lyrics, recording a CD of it, and then going and performing it today. If you know of anyone who needs a singing telegram, let me know. That could be a whole other side buisness.

And now I'm treating myself to Thai food. Because I really think today will be made much better with the addition of large quantities of rice, vegetables, and tofu. Not that today's a bad day; quite the opposite. But really, what day isn't improved by large quantities of rice, vegetables, and tofu?

Wow! I thought that once the initial craze of clicking on the Google mapy thingy on the side there wore off, that I'd mostly just see myself clicking on my own site in Chicago. And a lot of the more "exotic" places have disappeared off the map. But I'm amazed that some of you are coming back and clicking again! England, Egypt, Argentina, Germany, France, you all came back.

Thanks, guys. That makes me feel really good. Now here's another thing for you to click on if you haven't already...Enjoy!

I hate to say it, but I don't think it's quite fair of the President to keep making the "this is how things have to be in wartime" type excuses when he himself declared the war over three years ago. I saw it. It was a very stilted speech on a very large boat where one guy was obviously given the Cliffs Notes to tell him when to applaud and when to laugh, along with a cattle prod to get the rest of the guys on the boat to laugh or applaud with him.

I'm sorry. I saw part of his press conference this morning and the guy just makes my skin crawl. It's like it's opposite day any time he opens his mouth -- you have to assume that the opposite of what he's saying is true. Dodging questions by picking on reporters. Not answering the question in front of him. And probably worst of all is that he has this speech pattern that makes you feel like he's talking down to you all of the time. I know, I know, I should learn to not take it personally when the President with the lowest IQ of any President in known history talks down to me. My bad. He still gives me the willies.

My new least favorite place to get a bruise is the side of the kneecap.

On a totally unrelated note, I have to say that while I'm loving being an artist for a living, I kind of feel like my head is going to explode from all of the music I've been learning lately. Seriously. I'm kind of on overload, learning harmonies, learning cover tunes, doing a singing telegram. And to top it all off, a new song of my own started playing around in my head last night. I'm not complaining, mind you. But I'm the kind of person who wants to learn things after the first try. But I'm having to play each of these songs twenty, thirty, forty times to get it. I know that what I'm doing is difficult, but I'm feeling like a slow learner, which, of course, doesn't help the learning process. And it makes me feel like my head asplode soon. Anyway.

But for the most part, I'm doing well. Really well. I've had some moments of such intense joy in the last month that I've just had to stop and cry for a minute. And financially, I'm okay, too. So I'll just keep on learning stuff and do the best I can with it. Two of the three shows I was working on have closed now, so I've just got the one left (and understudying in Floss) for now. We'll see what happens with Bad Seed. Anyway. I'm going to go start my day. And try to learn some music...

One of the most frightening things in the world is getting exactly what you wanted.

Fortunately, I've decided to do one thing each day that scares me.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Okay, real quick digression: it bothers me to no end that people celebrate St. Patrick's Day for a week and a half. It bothers me that every non-Irish person in the world puts on some hideous green t-shirt or hat or cheap necklace, gets bombed out of his/her gourd, and stumbles around the streets yelling "Wooooo!" at the top of his/her lungs before falling down. That does bother me, yes. St. Patrick's day is a day to celebrate being Irish. The Irish got a pretty raw deal, both over in Ireland and once they came over here to the States. And yes, the Irish like to drink, so it's only fitting that a celebration of being Irish includes alcohol and bad food. But I don't think it should be a week-long drunk fest for all kinds of idiots who know nothing about Irish history. I'm not an expert by any means, but I know a little. And I do have Irish blood running in my veins. So I drink a Guinness, wear something green, and for one day, I take immense pride in the fact that I'm Irish. (Okay, I take pride in being Irish all year round because I really do like being Irish, but on St. Patrick's day, I think about all of the stereotypes and nasty names Irish people were called and pretend for a minute that being Irish is a bad thing, but I'm going to be proud of it anyway.)

So happy St. Patrick's Day everyone. Drink a Guinness or some Jamesons, kiss somebody, and wear green underwear. And tomorrow, please go back to being your regular Italian, Korean, Philipino, Cuban, Nigerian, etc. selves. Take pride in that.

Okay, random thing that bugs me. Besides the fact that we're halfway through March and they're saying we're going to get two to four inches of snow tomorrow. Mother Nature, why have you forsaken us?

Anyway. The year is written like this: 2006. People insist on pronouncing that "twenty-oh-six." When do you ever pronounce 2006 as "twenty-oh-six?" If someone writes you a check for $2006, do you say they gave you "twenty-oh-six dollars?" No! They gave you two thousand six dollars. Hell, I'd even be happier with two thousand and six, even though that's not technically correct either. This one is starting to irritate me almost as badly as people who "try and" do something instead of "try to" do something. It's just wrong! We don't live in "twenty-oh-six." We live in "two thousand six."

This entry brought to you by the letter zero. As in I am one. A big one. For getting so worked up about how people pronouce numbers.

So for those of you who don't know, we've been having some pretty wacky weather in Illinois for the last 24 hours. Ish. There were dozens of tornados last night, and a possible micro burst or something like that. Crazy stuff. And the winds...yes, this is the Windy City, but the wind is knocking down trees and power lines and ripping off roofs and stuff. It's nuts. Incidentally, is "roofs" the proper pluralization of "roof?" Hoof becomes hooves. Should roof become rooves? Anyway.

As a result of all of this crazy weather (I think), my bedroom light once again turns on. Without flipping the switch 87 million times. Second try and bam! It was on. And, my computer magically connected to a now non-existent wireless network just long enough for me to download the Mac OS X 10.4 upgrade that I've been trying (unsuccessfully) to download over a dial-up connection for the last three weeks. So strange.

Anyway. I have to go to band practice now. Wish me luck!

I just wanted to say a quick congratulations to my cousin and her wife, and thank you for letting me be a part of your day. It was absolutely beautiful and I wish you joy for years and years and years and years to come.

Side note: best wedding ever! They had vegan food. Even a vegan cake. Do you have any idea how nice it is to go to a wedding and have a big, full, savory, excellent, filling meal? Yeah.

So I'm not sure what all I really have to say, but I felt like I should say something. I joined a band. I flubbed yet another singing audition today. Two shows are just about to end. My cousin is getting married tomorrow. I made fake chicken salad today and the proportions in the recipe were weird (again) so it turned out to be a little too horseradishy. And for all those of you who keep asking if I've lost weight, the answer is yes. The scale continues to go down, which is kind of cool. And the weather was really nice today. And I'm kind of in love with my song Skyrocket. And I'm still hanging out with my new friend. Who I'll have to come up with a new name for soon because we're going on a month, and that's not really new anymore, now is it? And it's really hard to play for three hours for people who aren't paying attention. But thank you to all the little kids who just can't help but dance. And I got recognized the other day for my role as Leroy the janitor.

I think that's why I feel weird about my audition today. They have seen me play so many characters, and so many kinds of characters, that I read the character descriptions for the show and I have no idea in what role they would picture me. I think I may have escaped type casting in my theater company. Which is cool, but weird. I probably could play any of the roles. But do they want me to is the question? I dunno. We'll see. If I'm cast, fantastic. I'll have a blast. If I'm not cast, I'm sure I'll find other ways to spend my time.

I gotta take my contacts out. They're killing me.

My website is up and running! KittyMortland.com is up and running! Go check it out! It's really fun!

And a HUGE thank you goes out to the designer/programmer of the whole thing, Daniel Fischer. He has put in so much hard work to make sure the page would run smoothly and to allow me to update it myself so I don't have to pester him for every little thing. I think it's really beautiful and fun and I am SO grateful to him for putting it all together. Thank you, Daniel!

Go explore the site! There is more on the way, but go take a look and have fun!

So if there is an activity more boring than backing up everything one has on one's computer, I haven't found it.

Finally! A good singing audition!

I auditioned to be the background vocalist in this band tonight. I really like them, both as people and as musicians. I think it would be a lot of fun to sing with them, and to be honest, I could see them kind of geeking out at how cool it sounded to have another vocalist, and that felt really good. I didn't choke. I impressed them. If anything, my schedule is going to screw me. I hope it doesn't, though. I hope I at least get to try playing with this band for a little bit. Music alone is wonderful, music shared with others is magical.

Speaking of which, I was futzing around with Garage Band today (the most wonderful program I own), and I recorded "Skyrocket." I'm kind of in love with it. It is totally over produced, but it is so much fun! I am, as we speak, uploading it to my MySpace page so you can have a listen if you want. I keep listening to it over and over and over and over again. I know it's distasteful to be so in love with one's own art, but the fact that I made a song like this...and really, only the drum tracks were taken from Garage Band. And the one little bit of bass. The rest of it I created, with various effects used on my voice and guitar. I like the way it sounds. I think it would be a bitch to play live, especially for the drummer. But until I actually get a band together, I shouldn't worry about that, right? Pop on over. Take a listen. It's a fun song, born from my desire to be in a rock band, and my less than perfect experiences with...a sort of censorship. Let's just leave it at that.

Enjoy!

Okay, the second worst injury you can get that you feel like a jackass complaining about is when you cut your fingernails too short and then throughout the course of your regularly scheduled activities, you do something that makes your finger separate from your fingernail, just a teeny, tiny little bit. I did that last night with both my pointer and middle fingers on my left hand and I felt like a total invalid. The worst injurty you can get that you feel like a jackass complaining about, of course, is a paper cut to the knuckle. NOT FUN.

Anyway, I'm going to toot my own horn for a minute here. I played a show last night with four other bands, all of whom were female. A ladies' night, if you will. And the first band was amazing. The second band...she was obviously a Liz Phair fan as of Liz's self-titled album. I think she has potential, but I really wanted to take her aside and say, "Honey, dirty words do not a good song make." Yes, I use foul language in my songs, but every time I use the word "ass," it means something, you know? And lyrically, substituting "butt" just doesn't fit. That's why I use dirty words. That's why Liz Phair used them, too. It's funny. A lot of people think of "Fuck and Run" as this supremely dirty song, but take an actual listen to it. The only objectionable word is "fuck" and it is said eight times. Other than that, it's a song about the awkwardness of the morning after a one night stand. It's a pretty intense song; people just fixate on the "fuck." So yeah, I wanted to take this artist aside and talk to her about songwriting. Which made me think about my own songs. Again last night, a half dozen men came up to me after the show to say they really liked my tunes. Men. I never in a million years would have thought that men would like my songs. Granted, I thought it would be a stretch for women to like them, too, but I thought women could at least relate. But I guess that's what it is about my music -- it is accessible. It is in a language that people in general can relate to or understand. It is flowery at times, but it's not so flowery that you can't figure out what the song is about. And I think people also appreciate that not all of my songs sound the same. They're not all the same tempo. They're not all the same strum. They're not all the same chords, just played with the capo on a different fret. I think I have managed to put together an interesting, engaging, varied set that has a little something for everyone. Yay me!

So yeah, interesting night last night. Like I said, the first band was amazing. I think she and I turned out to be the highlights of the night. The third and fifth bands were pretty cool, too. But mostly, it felt good to play a full set of all my own songs in a dark bar where people were paying attention, but also enjoying an evening out with their friends. Thanks to the Big Horse Lounge for having me out, and thanks to everyone who came out to listen, especially those who stuck around long enough to hear me.

I like to play.

Oh! And I forgot. Yay for the Cubbies winning their spring training game yesterday. I know, I know, it's just spring training, but it's always nice to see my boys win. Especially when the other Chicago baseball team lost both of their spring training games over the weekend. I know, I know, that's me being bitchy. My new friend though is a big Sox fan, so I have to rub it in his face a little when they do badly, just so he'll stop singing "Defending world champions!" at the top of his lungs. Tee hee.

Hooray for almost baseball season! Less than a month to opening day.

Hey.

Sorry, I've been kind of absent for a few days. Things are getting hectic. I haven't stopped thinking about you, though, and I miss our little chats. Honestly, I do. So here's some random stuff I've been wanting to share with you.

As unappetizing as recycled toilet paper is, it's hard to pass up at twenty-five cents per roll.

I'm tired. So tired my eyes are burning.

I miss being on the computer all day. Kind of. But not really.

My gig on Friday went really well.

I'm nervous about my show tomorrow.

I'm wondering when things will slow down, or if they will ever slow down. I'm wondering if that's a bad thing.

Two of my three plays are almost over -- one I will be sad to see end, the other, not so much. But another one just opened. And I'm auditioning for another one next weekend. So yeah, keeping busy.

Way too much to do and not enough time to do it, so I think I'm going to go sleep next to my cat because I've been missing him lately, too.

But all in all, things are good. Really good. I'm very happy and that kind of scares me. Oh well.

Not to sound pessimistic, but if Dubya didn't get impeached for lying about weapons of mass destruction, do you honestly think he's going to be impeached for lying about what he knew before Katrina hit?

I'd love to think that the tape released by the Associated Press would mean something. I'd love to think that it would be the smoking gun everyone is liking to claim it is. But if we've seen anything in the past six years, we've seen that our current administration is really frickin' good at 1) doling out misinformation to cover their asses and 2) diverting our attention to other, trivial matters until we forget about the really important stuff that is at hand.

Please let this tape help.

Helloooooooooo Argentina! Welcome to the madness! Are you giving up anything for Lent?

Happy March, everybody!

Where the heck has the year gone already, huh? And when is it going to get warm out, for crying out loud? And by warm, I don't mean mid-40's. I mean mid-80's. Yeah, I'm ready for summer. Open my windows, wear tank tops, so hot you can't sleep kind of summer. Bring it!

Sorry.

Happy March, everybody!