I performed well last night. Really well. Probably better than I have since we moved to the new space. And truth be told, it felt great. I had been getting kind of complacent with my role and my performances, and last night, I just decided to kick it back up a couple of notches. When I got compliments after the show, I felt like I actually deserved them, which was nice.

I guess this should serve as a reminder to me that no matter how comfortable I am in a role, no matter how many times my friends tell me they are going to come see the show and don't, I still have to go out there and give it my all. I can't take anything for granted, and I can't sit back and rest on my laurels. Do I have laurels? Anyway, I still have to go out there and perform. Every audience deserves a great performance and it is my job to make sure they get one.

So little time, so much to say...

If you have a moment and some positive energy to spare, please send it in the general direction of my Virginia friend. His mother will be going in for a biopsy and we're all keeping our fingers crossed that it is not breast cancer, but we could use a few more crossed fingers, if you know what I mean.

Thanks.

The best thing about the bleachers at Wrigley is that you can check out the player's asses, and lemme tell ya, there were some nice ones there last night.

Okay, I'm done now.

As much fun as it is to complain about the heat, I have to say that I love it. I love it that we're having an actual summer in Chicago this year. I love it that it is so sweltering hot outside that air conditioners are breaking and even though you have fans in your windows, you still sweat just sitting there. I'm not big on the greasy face feeling, but I love the hot.

And I love it that I'm going to the Cubs game tonight. Granted, it is supposed to rain today and then get nice and cool tonight, so I'm torn about what I should wear to the ballpark, but I get to go to a Cubs game tonight. My first of the season. How sad is that that I haven't been to a game yet this summer? I'll be sitting in the bleachers with my brother and a bunch of his friends. Here's hoping it's a night full of Cubbie home runs!

So yeah, enjoy the hot, watch the Cubs game tonight, and...um...eat a popsicle or something. Strawberry popsicles and lemonade make a fantastic summertime combination. I'm just sayin'.

And a very happy birthday to my Dad. I love you, Dad.

I know it's really distasteful to laugh at one's own jokes, but I wanted to share this one because it was funny. I played a show on Saturday night to a pretty decent sized crowd. Now, before this show, I had been at my friend's bachelorette party and had two glasses of wine. I drank a lot of water, too, but when I got to the concert venue, I had a glass of soda (my second of the evening) because I wanted to avoid getting any drunker/tipsier. I wasn't very bad to begin with, but still. I wanted to be able to play. And what it all resulted in was I was very caffeinated by the time I got up on stage. Which made me chatty. But in a good way. I have to say, out of all of the shows I've done thus far, my banter at this one was probably the best. It helped that the audience was playing along, too. Anyway. I played "Astoria Park" and then told the audience that I was really caffeinated and "Astoria Park" is supposed to be about 15 minutes long and apologized for speeding through it. I thought it was funny. They thought it was funny. You probably don't think it's funny because you weren't there and here I am recounting a joke of mine on my website that just isn't funny unless you were there to hear it in person. Shame on you for not being there.

Tee hee.

So, the moral of the story is that I should do all of my shows not drunk, but caffeinated. Heavily caffeinated. Which means for two days before any of my shows, I should not ingest any caffeine so that when I have a soda or two before the show, it really hits me.

I'm such a rockstar, drinking soda before I perform.

Ooo! I almost forgot. Funny!

I don't know if any of you have been watching the television show "Hooking Up," about 11 New York women doing online dating, but I have been. It's fun. It's interesting. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only person who goes on bad dates. Anyway. One of the men on the show last night is a guy I went to high school with! I know! Funny. I didn't know him all that well back then, but he went to prom with a dear friend of mine, and as near as I could tell, he was a really cool guy. Even back then, when there was so much pressure to conform and fit in and whatever, he was his own person. I always thought that was a really cool thing about him.

I found myself wishing that I could get a message to the girl that went out with him, to let her know that he is a quality person. Granted, I haven't talked to him in years, but I could tell, just from the little snippets of the show that if anything, he's gotten cooler over the years. I wish I could let her know that he is cool. He is worth knowing. Granted, if I were to tell her that now, it would probably be too late -- it looks like they break up next week. What's really sad about that is that he looks really hurt by it. I hope he's okay.

Who knows? Maybe I should look him up when I'm in New York next. Or, if he goes to our reunion, I'll have something to talk to him about. Anyway, I just thought it was funny that someone I know, someone who was in my prom group, was on a reality television show. I wish I could say hi to him. I wonder if he remembers me at all...

I feel compelled today to revisit my list of things I'd like in a life partner, just to remind myself of what they are, so I can keep them in mind as I go forward in my life. This list was originally compiled in December of 2003, and has had a couple of additions since then, but here goes:

I'd like to be with a guy who shaves his head. Or at the very least has the confidence to do so if he doesn't.
I'd like to be with a guy who looks at me when he's talking to me. Looks me in the eye.
I'd like to be with a guy who is artistic with good cause to be. Someone who can really sing. Or really paint. Or who acts so beautifully it makes me cry.
I'd like to be with a guy who understands that it is the time we spend together that is important, regardless of what we do with that time.
I'd like to be with a guy who is not materialistic, but has one thing that he will splurge on like musical instruments or video games.
I'd like to be with a guy who understands the value of comfortable shoes and clothes and the importance of being comfortable in his own skin.
I'd like to be with a guy who isn't afraid of interpersonal communication, be it positive or negative, happy or sad.
I'd like to be with a guy who will take the time to really ask people how they are and take the time to really listen to the answer.
I'd like to be with a guy who will make an ass out of himself in public.
I'd like to be with a guy who doesn't pass judgment on people who are different from him.
I'd like to be with a guy who has an in insatiable thirst for knowledge.
I'd like to be with a guy who eats vegan food not to humor me but because he likes it.
I'd like to be with a guy who eats.
I'd like to be with a guy who not only understands my need for time by myself but who needs his own time, too, and values it.
I'd like to be with a guy whose touch makes me feel safe.
I'd like to be with a guy who will call me on it when I'm full of shit without making me feel like I'm two inches tall, will talk to me about it, and forgive me for it.
I'd like to be with a guy who will talk to me.
I'd like to be with a guy who will totally geek out about something.
I'd like to be with a guy who instinctively knows when to hold my hand and when to let me do my own thing.
I'd like to be with a guy who does one thing better than anyone else in the world.
I'd like to be with a guy who thinks I do one thing better than anyone else in the world.
I'd like to be with a guy who laughs openly, freely, honestly, and often.
I'd like to be with a guy who has his own friends.
I'd like to be with a guy who knows when to be serious and when to kid around.
I'd like to be with a guy who can keep up with me in a battle of wits and a battle of words.
I'd like to be with a guy with the rhythm, confidence, and creativity to really dance.
I'd like to be with a guy who appreciates the wonder with which a small child views the world because to some extent, he sees the world that way, too.
I'd like to be with a guy who cleans up after himself.
I'd like to be with a guy who calls for no real reason, but not every day.
I'd like to be with a guy who would do drugs if he had the time but he doesn't so he doesn't.
I'd like to be with a guy who believes that in general, people are good.
I'd like to be with a guy who kisses me so that I can feel it in my toes.
I'd like to be with a guy who can just go nuts sometimes.
I'd like to be with a guy who believes in something.
I'd like to be with a guy who is actively trying to make the future brighter.
I'd like to be with a guy who doesn't think that commitment or marriage is a death sentence or a condemnation to a life of misery as it seems to be for so many people around us.
I'd like to be with a guy who believes in himself, believes in me, and believes in us.
I'd like to be with a guy who knows what errogenous zones are and how to use them.
I'd like to be with a guy who has a lot of errogenous zones.
I'd like to be with a guy who is a generous tipper.
I'd like to be with a guy who loves me anyway.
I'd like to be with a guy who will go see a live band he's never heard before.
I'd like to be with a guy who has learned from the experiences in his life.
I'd like to be with a guy who finds beauty in unlikely places.
I'd like to be with a guy who is geographically accessible.
I'd like to be with a guy who loves Owen (and other animals) as much as I do.
I'd like to be with a guy who understands that not all physical contact has to result in intercourse.

I think that's good for now. Keep that in mind, Kitty, and don't settle for less.

And while black pepper cashews are heavenly for the tastebuds, they are hellish for the breath. I better brush my teeth really good before I do any smoochin'.

I wonder if I should be worried about the fact that I'm not really sleeping. Not at night, anyway. The past couple of nights, I've actually been in bed at a decent hour, and it hasn't been ungodly hot in my room, so all things would seem to be a-go for me to get some decent sleep, but it's been eluding me until about 4:30 in the morning. And then, of course, being the cute, energetic kitty that he is, Owen wants me up at 5:30 to play with and feed him. I love him, I really do, and I know that at 5:30 in the morning, it is cool enough in my apartment that he can run around and play like kitties are supposed to, but big Kittys like to be sleeping at 5:30 in the morning, unless they are out at a really raging party and intend to sleep during the day to make up for it.

I don't think the lack of sleep is getting to me too too much. Yes, it would be nice to sleep more, but I don't feel like I'm suffering or lagging or anything. Mostly, it's just frustrating to lie in bed for hours trying to fall asleep while your mind runs through every song you've ever heard, all at the same time, with a couple random conversations you've had (or wish you had) mixed in for good measure. Maybe I need a new bed. The one I'm currently using is...sixteen years old now? Sweet jebus. Okay, I'll do some bed research on the interweb, see what I can find and if it will fit into my budget.

So a different job may actually be on the horizon. It's scary. It's exciting, but scary. When will I find time to post my blogs if my job keeps me busy all of the time? And I do feel bad because I really do like my boss. I dunno. We'll see. I have a preliminary phone interview this afternoon (presuming the doctor for whom I would be working has fifteen minutes to spare) and it is entirely possible that she and I won't click. I don't have to take this other job, either, if it is offered to me. There are any one of a million reasons why I might just stay where I am. But the thought of having a job that doesn't bore me to tears is, well, enticing. I dunno. I'll miss my current boss quite a bit. He's really cool and a lot of fun to work for, and you don't find that often in lawyers. I should stop listening to sappy music when I'm posting this stuff. And I should get back to cleaning up my office so that if I do leave, whoever moves in here won't have to.

So I'm competing in the finals of this open mic tonight and I'll admit it -- I'm nervous. The idea of competition is, well, daunting. And I think it's really difficult to compete with music. Everyone who performs there has his or her own style -- how can you say one is better than the other? Which is why it is all based on audience applause. It is totally subjective, but not totally honest. Everyone who is competing will tell all of their friends and family members to come out and cheer really loud for them so that they will win. So this is, in effect, a competition to see who can bring in the most audience members. Unless your song really really kicks ass and you win over somebody else's friends and family members. It's totally a popularity contest and I've never done well in popularity contests.

I like the song I'm going to play, though. I think it's a really good one, and I think it has the potential to win over a few strangers, if I play it well. I mostly just have to remember to relax. And I'm debating whether or not I should announce that if I win any money, at least some of it is going to go to my friend's Avon Walk effort. She's walking in New York. I'm insanely jealous and would join her, but that walk is the opening weekend of my kid's show. Which I really should be there for. Anyway. Since I can't walk with her, the best way I can think of to support her is to raise awareness and try to help her raise money wherever I can. So I do intend, if I win the open mic tonight, to donate at least some of the winnings to her cause. I'll make a donation regardless, but if I win, it will be a bigger one.

And, if I win, I'll get a microphone. A pretty decent one, from what I can tell. That's the part I'm looking forward to. That's what I really want to win. Get me on the road to being able to record stuff at home.

So wish me luck tonight! I have to remember to keep breathing. If I'm shaking and not breathing, I will not play well. So keep breathing, Kitty, keep breathing.

I watched two television programs last night that I feel need some comment, and seeing as this is the place for me to empty my brain as I see fit, I will comment.

The first was Extreme Makeover. This show makes me incredibly sad and sick to my stomach. It does not bother me to see the surgeries, or what the women look like before the surgery or whatever -- that's not the sickening part. The sickening part is that these women feel like they need surgery in order to be beautiful. There was one woman on the show last night who was adorable, very sweet, very loving, wonderful mother, adored and was adored by her husband, but she's felt ugly her entire life for whatever her physical flaws are/were. She kept saying she wanted her outside to match her insides, so she needed a nose job and a brow lift and liposuction and a tummy tuck and blah blah blah blah blah. That just makes me so sad. It makes me sad that the focus in our society is SO heavily placed on physical appearance that this wonderful, beautiful woman had to alter her appearance to the point where she looked in the mirror and said, "I don't even look like me." How? Why? Why would you do that? Granted, there are those who will tell you that I am not one to talk or cast dispersions on others because I have the cute button nose and the really big eyes and the nice, round, pert boobs. But I had horrible skin when I was younger. I have really big hips and a large ass. I am, in no sense of the word, perfect, and I did spend the vast majority of my life thus far feeling absolutely repulsive. It hasn't been until the last five or six years that I have started to appreciate my physicality and what it has to offer. And now that I've gotten there, the absolute last thing I would ever want to do is surgically alter my body. If I want to lose weight, I'll exercise more and eat better. I have even come to embrace my acne scars as badges of courage and marks of character in my face. I would not let someone cut me up to stretch my skin tight across my face so I look younger. I look forward to getting old and getting wrinkles and getting gray hair. I think I will be even more beautiful when my age really begins to show. So yeah, it makes me sad that people will go to such drastic extremes to look physically beautiful. Physical beauty is such a fleeting thing anyway.

And that show was followed up by one wherein we followed several women through the world of online dating. You all know I read online personal ads -- I've admitted it before and even commented on how people could make their ads better. But it was interesting to see what the experience is like for these other women. How they handle bad dates. Who they will and won't kiss on a first date. How they feel before, during, and after a date. How they avoid a second date. How they feel if the guy doesn't want another date. I'm horrible at dating; I'll admit that. It's one of the big reasons I don't do it very much (that, and the busy factor). But it was kind of nice to see that opening conversations are just as dull for other people on first dates as they have been for me. It's nice to see that I'm not the only one who feels like I'm mentally cheating if I go out on two first dates in close proximity to one another. It's nice to see that I'm not the only one who has bad dates. I dunno. I was almost tempted to go back online and respond to some of the ads I had seen, though I do kind of feel bad for a guy who gets an e-mail saying, "I'm really too busy to date right now, but I just wanted to say that your ad caught my eye and you seem like a really cool person. I hope this whole thing works out for you in one way or another, even though it won't be with me." How weird would that e-mail be to receive? Tee hee.

And I saw it, and it was good. Really good. That little boy is the cutest little boy in film right now. Seriously. And he's so good. Please don't let Hollywood kill him like it does to so many other child actors. But yeah, go see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Even if you think you won't like it because you love the original, go see it. This is the kind of movie I wish I had been involved with. So good. So good.

*sigh*

I'm trying really hard to not get too excited, but I'm going to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory tonight, but it's not really working.

I am a fan of the original film with Gene Wilder. Not an uber fanatical fan, but a fan. I just rewatched it last week and rediscovered a bunch of things I had forgotten that are really funny, most of them throw-away lines of Gene Wilder's ("I'm sorry, all questions must be submitted in writing."). But there was always something about the film that made me uncomfortable. I don't know if it is just because Dahl's books often have that effect on me or that the film screams, "I WAS MADE IN THE 1970'S!!!!!!" but something about it always made me feel...ooky, I guess.

So imagine my delight when I find out that my favorite director is remaking the film! Sorry, not "remaking" but "making another version of" the film! Both Burton and Depp have stressed that they are not trying to redo the movie -- it was good as it was. They are just making another version thereof. And who better to do a movie so steeped in visual effects than Tim Burton? Who better to balance the child-like thrill of a chocolate factory with the creepiness of a Dahl story than Tim Burton? I, for one, am really excited. I'm trying hard not to get excited, but I always do when I get to go see a new Burton film.

So after the 12:01am showing (so technically, I'm seeing it tomorrow morning), I'll let you know what I actually think. I hope it's good.

In all truth, I'm not the slightest bit surprised that the American League won the All Star Game. I'm not. They usually do. I don't think it has anything to do with American League players being better players; I think they hit the ball harder. But, and I know I'm going to get lambasted for this, I've always felt that American League baseball isn't real baseball, like it's cheating. For those of you ready to pelt me with bricks, I have two words: designated hitter. This guy does nothing in the game but hit. And maybe run, if he gets a hit. That's it. He's there to hit. He's there because the pitcher isn't a good enough hitter. The simple fact that American League baseball has the designated hitter means that the focus of the game is shifted to place more emphasis on hitting than any other aspect of the game. Whereas in the National League, everyone has to be a good all-around player, pitchers, too. Which is also why I love the Cubs. Maddux, Wood, Prior, Zambrano, and Rusch have all hit home runs in their careers. National League pitchers are all around players. American League pitchers are purely defensive. That bothers me. One of the things I love about baseball is that everyone is offensive and defensive, unlike just about every other sport. To rob American League pitchers of half of their role...it's always seemed like cheating to me.

So anyway, I'm not surprised that the American League took the All Star Game. We'll see which really is the better league come the World Series. Though if the Cardinals get to the World Series again this year, I'm cheering for the American League. Sorry. I just can't cheer for the Cardinals.

Okay, so a little while ago, I posted some tips for people venturing into online dating, to try to make their journey a little more pleasant, a little more successful. Now I feel it is time to offer some words of advice to those still mucking about in the real world.

* Drunkenness may seem to give you courage, but it also robs you of your ability to use spoken language. If you are chatting up a member of the opposite sex who keeps having to ask you to repeat what you are saying, stop. Think. "Are those real words coming out of my mouth? Are they in an order that makes sense? Do my consonants sounds like vowels?" If you answered yes to that last question and no to the first two, it is time to stop drinking, walk away, vomit in the bathroom, and try again with a different person at a different bar in a different state. Because chances are, all of the friends of the person you were chatting up know by now that you're a lush.

* If you profess your love for the person you are chatting up before you know what his/her name is, it is not going to go anywhere. I'm not saying your chances of marriage and a happy life are ruined, I'm saying your chances of leaving the table or section of the bar you are leaning against with said person are ruined. If it was love at first sight, you'd have a much harder time saying so because you would be scared shitless.

* Going in for the kiss: if the other person pulls away, or turns a cheek, or better yet, turns a cheek AND pulls away, don't try again later, unless you are trying with a completely different person who is even drunker than you are because nobody in their right mind wants your sloppy seconds.

* Look at the person you are chatting up. Is the person well dressed? Yes. Is the person sitting with legs or arms crossed? Yes. Is the person paying more attention to the band on stage than you? Yes. Is the person falling down drunk? No. Is the person going to be impressed by you drinking straight out of the pitcher? Let's think about that one for a minute.

* If you are tone deaf, do not attempt to serenade strangers in a bar.

* Honesty and vulnerability are good things in a healthy, adult relationship. Telling an absolute stranger, "I just want someone to love me," is not the way to begin a good, healthy, adult relationship.

I hope these tips have been helpful. Please join us again next week when we examine the proper way to smack the object of your affection upside the head with a tuna.

And poof! Just like that. Gone. Every picture, every short movie saved on my memory card in my digital camera. Gone.

It's not a horrible travesty, but it does make me a little resentful of so much technology. I hadn't downloaded the pictures I took of Moby at Summerfest yet. There were still photos from my Europe trip on there that I liked to look at from time to time when I was away from my computer. And I've had some problems with my computer at home, not being able to find photos that I uploaded a long time ago, so to suddenly have everything go poof! Well, it's a little disappointing.

On the other hand, it is a little bit liberating. I have a whole memory card to fill up now, with whatever I want. A clean slate, if you will. I started last night with a couple of pictures of Owen, sleeping behind my guitar. I think I will call the picture "My Favorite Things," as it is my sweetheart sleeping in my music corner. What more could a girl want?

Speaking of Owens, one of my co-workers is now the proud father of a little boy named Owen. Congratulations to the happy new parents, and welcome to the world, Owen! I think it's really sweet that you named your son after my cat.

Tee hee.

I got myself a Pilates DVD the other day. I should say "another one" because I already had one. So I got myself another Pilates DVD the other day and for the past two days after work, I have gone home and done Pilates before dinner and I think I am finally doing them right. My hips and thighs and butt are sore, but in the good way sore. I'm not stiff, nor is my movement hindered. But I know I did something and it was good. And today, I somehow feel like I'm walking taller or something. Could be because I'm wearing my glasses today because I didn't get home from rehearsal until 1:30 last night and glasses always make the world look different than contact lenses do, or it could be my powerhouse getting stronger and holding me up better. I don't know. I do know that I've really enjoyed doing Pilates for the last couple of days and I hope I keep this up for a while. It's a good way to get some exercise in a hot apartment without dying.

I'm sorry, I feel like a horrible person for saying this, but I can't listen to more news reports about London. I need to stop looking at the pictures online. I need to stop reading story after story. I just can't do it.

Maybe the terrorists have a right to be angry, but the one thing they do not have is the right to deprive others of their lives. There are so many more effective ways to deal with anger than blowing things up and killing people. That only sparks more anger and it becomes a vicious circle. And in the announcement that was posted on the website of the group claiming responsibility, it says that those who warn others of their actions are excused. Am I the only one who thinks that is a load of crap? Especially when the warning is something along the lines of, "If you don't stop that, you'll be sorry." That's not a warning. That's a vague threat. Sure, if someone says to me, "I'm swinging my arms around like this and if you walk into them, you will get hit," then it is my bad for walking into said arms (though by the same token, the swinger of the arms could chose to be the bigger person and stop swinging the arms). But "Something bad might happen one day" is not a warning. That's not going to stop me from doing what I'm doing, unless I stop functioning all together. Yes, it's just semantics, but in the case of the 37 Londoners who don't get to go home to their families ever again, and the hundreds who will never get to hug their friends again, semantics are a big deal.

I also feel like I shouldn't be talking about this at all since I have no first-hand knowledge of either side, really. All my rhetoric is lovely, but not worth a whole hell of a lot when the passenger next to me on the train goes flying up through the roof of the train, thanks to the bomb that was beneath his seat. Or when an uninvolved, uninvited country comes into mine and starts killing people and setting mandates. It's not really my place to pass judgment on either side. I'm sorry for that.

I hope my friends in London are okay.

I hope everyone else's friends in London are okay.

I know London will be okay -- there are so many messages on BBC.com from Londoners thanking one another for their assistance and saying that if London survived World War 2, it will certainly survive this. So I know London will be okay. It just really sucks that it has to go through this anyway.

My heart is with you, London.

My heart goes out to the people of London, and to the families and friends of those who were killed or injured.

Goals. Time to set some goals.

I'm working with a friend in Texas on my website. Yes, an actual, official website where you can download things and read stuff and look at things. Maybe even buy stuff, if I have stuff to sell. Tee hee. I should sell my old crap on there just in case I have any "fans" who want "collectables." "And here we have for sale the green corduroy pants that Kitty wore not only in 'Dancing with Gaia,' but in 95% of the photographs you will find of her between 2001 and 2004. They now have a giant hole in the ass which is why she no longer wants them." Tee hee. But goal-wise...he's kind of busy right now, and I'm kind of busy right now, but let's say by the end of the calendar year, I hope to have a website up and running. That gives us six months to get our act together. I think that should work. So by year's end, actual website.

By October, after my kids show is up and running, I would like to find other musicians to work with to flesh out some of my songs. I have leads on a bassist (who sadly lives very far away, and depending on how much of a pain in the ass it becomes, I might have to find another) and possibly a percussionist (or if not the person I'm thinking of, I know someone else with lots of connections to studio musicians). But in October, I'd like to start really looking for other people to work with. People who are comfortable with being back up musicians who have some creative input. People who can record with me, and possibly play a gig or two here and there. But yeah, in October, I want to start looking around for that. So that by...

March, I'd like to start recording an EP. A slick, smooth, sweet-smelling EP. Only five or six songs, but I want them to be tight. I want this to be something I can sell confidently, with nice artwork, and market to labels, festivals, promoters, clubs, etc. Why March? My car will be paid off by then, and the holiday financial crap should be straightened out, so I should (I hope) have some money that I can actually spend on this by then.

But yeah, that's my plan. Website. Fellow musicians. EP.

Wish me luck!

Hippy pappy bthudsda thudsday to my very wonderful, very beautiful mother. I love you, Mom!

I wonder what Owen would do if I brought home a bunny...

I am now the very proud owner of two cute little tins of silver needle white tea from TeaNY in New York, courtesy of (I believe) my brother. I would like to say thank you to my brother as this is, in fact, the best tea in the world. So light. So smooth. So...pure tasting. So yummy. I'm on my third cup already this morning.

There's just something really nice about waking up with a cup of tea and the memory of seeing your favorite musician the previous two nights in a row. Granted, I think the show in Milwaukee was better than the show last night, but I could still very happily go see him again tonight. I could very happily spend the rest of my life watching him make music. But I know my gushing gets old, so I'll stop. And go back to drinking my tea. My fabulous silver needle white tea. Everything is better with white tea.

Moby concert in Milwaukee last night. Another one in Chicago tonight. I think my heart might just explode with love for the human race.

I've been feeling, well, a little off as of late. There have been some nasty things said about me to my face which on first glance are, well, really nasty. But I've had a chance to think about them, really think about them, and I can see that they aren't really true. Just an attempt to make me feel bad about myself. So I go by myself to this Moby show last night, and I meet two very lovely people who spend their evening talking to me and dancing with me and enjoying fireworks with me and all of that. They could have ignored strange girl sitting by herself, but chose to open themselves up to someone new, and I chose to open myself up to someone new, too, and we all had a lovely evening. No games. No manipulation. Just people enjoying good music. I thank them for that. Thank you!

And damn, was that good music! I almost fell off the bench we were standing on about twenty times, but had I broken my neck at the concert, it would have been totally worth it. If you have never gotten to see someone doing what he or she most loves to do, totally aware of the fact that he or she is completely blessed that he or she gets to do this, you'll have no idea what I'm talking about. But Moby and his whole band just have so much fun on the stage! They love playing music. They love playing music with each other. They love playing music with each other for thousands of screaming fans. And the fans love every second of it, too. Such good energy. It was like taking a spiritual bath and afterwards, I just felt good.

I got to meet him again, too, behind the venue. A bunch of people were waiting for autographs and stuff, and he was very patiently and very diligently trying to get to everyone. I got my "Hotel" cover signed and a bunch of good pictures. He signed this one woman's breasts, but didn't turn it into a lewd thing. I was impressed by that. He's so gentle and unassuming and he even seemed a little overwhelmed by how many people were there who wanted to greet him. He knows he is blessed and is thankful for it, you can tell. And in addition to being intelligent and artistic and non-judgmental and socially aware...I know I've said it before and I'll probably say it again, and I apologize for the redundancy, but he is a credit to the human race.

Thank you, Moby, for everything that you do and for being who you are.

Happy Fourth of July, everybody!

I know in the past year or so, I have said some disparaging things about this country and it's current administration. Truth of the matter is, I love my country, despite it's current administration. I love it that I live in a country where I can say what I want to say on this public journal, I can live in my own space, I can hold whatever job I choose, I can dream as big as I want. And I particuarly love the city in which I live. Chicago is my home. Chicago welcomes you with open arms, great food, wonderful music, all kinds of cultural opportunitites. Yes, it gets hot in the summer and cold in the winter, but it is home to the greatest baseball park in the world, that is home to the team with the greatest heart in all of baseball. Chicago has the greatest skyline. Chicago has wonderful parks and beaches and festivals and theaters and shops and schools and people and on and on and on. I love my home in Chicago and I am thankful every day that I get to live here.

Have a safe and happy Fourth!

I think more people should take voice lessons. And I'm not just talking about voice lessons for singing purposes, I'm talking about for speaking purposes, too. How to open up your wind passages, and bellow things out from the diaphragm, completely unobstructed. Partially because it would be more enjoyable for the listeners if we all had good, strong speaking and singing voices, and partially because it just feels so darn good to speak or sing with your whole body, instead of just with your mouth.

And wouldn't it be cool if in these voice lessons, we could also learn how to say the things that really need to be said? I guess that's called therapy. But if instead of learning how to effectively sing, "La la la la la," you could go to your voice lesson and learn how to powerfully say, "I need a peanut butter sandwich," or "If I don't get to a bathroom quickly, there is going to be an awful mess to deal with." You know. Important stuff.

Tee hee.

So I get to do a last minute gig tonight. One of my fellow Chicago female musicians has this show out in Glen Ellyn and her opening band had to cancel due to some emergency. I am quite flattered that she asked me to fill in. I'm sure she asked others, too, but that she thought of me in that group is amazing. And that I got to her first and ended up with the gig is that much cooler. Yay!

So I'll be skipping out of work early today to trek out to the burbs and play a little set for an entirely new audience. I hope people actually come out for it. I hope I don't get booed off the stage. I hope I remember how to play my songs this time. Wish me luck!

It's all about networking and dependability...