July 11 - Nostalgia

One of the greatest cinematic moments ever is when the Aborigines join in on the didgeridoo during "I Will Survive" in The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert. I don't care what anyone else says, that scene is pure magic. 

What is fun about watching the movies that once inspired you is when you find that they still do. There is that element of "Oh, remember who I was when I first saw this and the dreams it gave me?" But when it can still hit you and make you think and feel new things, I think that is the mark of a good movie. And a good dream. 

Here's hoping some of the dreams I dreamed back in 1994 come true some day. 

And seriously, if you've not seen Priscilla, stop what you are doing and watch it right now. It is still absolutely brilliant. 

May 29 - Hamlet

Hamlet: The Series is available in its entirety on YouTube. I put all of the videos into this playlist so you don't have to go searching for them.



I want to say, really quickly, that what probably gets me the most about these videos is that when it gets to the end credits, the special thanks and list of supporters are full of people I know. It melts me every time.

Thank you, guys, for supporting this project. Without you, it would not have happened. I enjoyed it quite a bit, and for the rest of my life, I get to say I was Hamlet once. I could not think of a nicer gift. So thank you!

November 11 - Spoilers

I remember when Terminator 2 came out, one of my friends got to see the film before he saw any trailers or ads for it, so he didn't know that Arnold was the good guy this time around. I apologize for spoiling that bit just now for any of you who haven't seen Terminator 2 yet but seriously, the movie is how old? And you've not seen it yet? I'm guessing you don't plan to. And besides, the blog post is titled "Spoilers." I consider that fair warning.

Anyway, my friend got to see Terminator 2 not knowing that Arnold was the good guy, so he got to experience the terror of "oh god, he's back" right alongside the characters in the film. I thought to myself, "What a lovely way to see a movie - the same way the characters do, with no foreknowledge of what is coming." And ever since then, I've had this ongoing internal battle over whether to watch trailers and advertisements and whatnot beforehand.

On the one hand, it's fun to see what's in store. It's fun to get a glimpse of Middle Earth before the next Hobbit movie comes out. It's cool to see what your favorite actors look like dressed as characters you grew up with. And trailers are a very useful marketing tool - if we didn't see the trailer for some film we'd never heard of, how would we know if we wanted to spent thirteen dollars to see it in 3D or if the eleven dollar 2D version will suffice?

But a large portion of the joy of watching something new, or reading something new, is allowing the story to take you on this unexpected journey. Being surprised by plot twists or character introductions. Building the world of the story piece by piece. If you know what all of the pieces are going in, you spend more time waiting for the next reveal than enjoying what is happening in front of you right now. At least, that is my experience with spoilers. And the real kicker here is that sometimes, the stunts they show in trailers are from footage left on the cutting room floor, so you can spend an entire film waiting for one specific moment you loved from the trailer that never actually happens in the film. And you leave frustrated and disappointed by what was otherwise a lovely movie.

So the 50th anniversary Doctor Who episode is "airing" around the world on November 23rd. Which means the interweb is inundated at the moment with trailers and sneak peeks and photos from the set and whatnot. And I am trying my hardest to not look at any of it. I don't want to know the plot before I show up to the theater that afternoon. I don't want to know how the three versions of the Doctor will interact. In many ways, I think it's bad enough that I know three versions of the Doctor will be in the episode and I don't want to spoil it any further by knowing anything else about it before I see it. I want to be surprised. I want to experience the episode in the moment. I want to watch the plot unfold before my eyes, not spend the whole episode waiting for a specific explosion or line or plot point. I honestly don't want to know until I get there.

So what do you think of spoilers and trailers and inside looks and sneak peeks? Do they enhance your viewing experience or ruin it? I know why they exist; I'm not debating that. I just sometimes wish they were easier to avoid under certain circumstances.

September 6 - Sad

I'm sad today.

Before I go into why I am sad, let me just say that it is perfectly normal to be sad from time to time, and I have found it best to embrace the sadness as opposed to trying to avoid it. If I figure out why I am sad, I can deal with that thing and the sadness will go away as a result, as opposed to trying to just not be sad. That doesn't deal with the issue.

So anyway, today is a day to be sad for me. It has nothing to do with all of the sadness and suffering in the world, or the really difficult decisions that are being made right now concerning Syria, or anything that really impacts anyone but me. It is my own little personal bubble of sadness. The kind of bubble that goes nicely on a couch with hot chocolate, a super soft sweater, and a sad movie.

I am sad today because tomorrow is the last day of principal photography for Hamlet: The Series. In many ways, this is just the beginning of the project - it can then be edited and shared and discussed and it will be around forever. For the rest of my life, I can say I played Hamlet and I can show it to people all around the world. But for the actors in it, principal photography is the fun part. That is when we get to do what we do. All of the preparation, all of the rehearsal, all of the time spent analyzing dialogue and building characters all comes down to the actual performance, which in film, happens during principal photography. Once that part is done, we just sit back and wait for the thing to be done. We can move on to other characters and other projects, and for the last two and a half years, that is exactly what I have done to help with the mourning process as I say goodbye to all of the characters I have played, all of the amazing people I have worked with. If I keep myself busy and preoccupied with the next project, the next show, I don't have time to get too sad about this show ending.

I don't really have the next project in line yet. I have projects in the pipeline; don't get me wrong. But I don't have another character to inhabit yet. Another person to bring to life through my actions and someone else's words. And this makes me very aware of how empty I will feel when I'm no longer sharing body space with Hamlet. She first came to live with me a little over two years ago. It has been an extraordinarily long process, with ups and downs and stops and starts and frustrations and joys. We have laughed so hard on set. I have cried so many tears. I have spent so many hours with the script and my Shakespeare Lexicon books, trying to figure out who this person is and why she does the things she does and now that I finally sort of feel like maybe I have it, she's moving out. Unlikely to come live with me again. I've gotten used to her. I've grown to love her and empathize with her. And in the absence of another character coming to live with me, I just get to feel her slip away as I mourn her leaving.

I am looking forward to shooting these last bits tomorrow, because it means the project is that much closer to being done and I will be able to see the fruits of all of our efforts. But for all of the heartache and the thousand natural shocks that her flesh is heir to, I have loved this project and I am sad to see it coming to an end.

So I am sad today. I will be less sad later.

July 30 - Stuff

I am having lots of thoughts today, some of which are appropriate for posting on the interweb and some of which are not, so let's talk about the ones that are, shall we?

VEDA (Vlog Every Day in August) starts up again in two days - appropriately enough on August 1. I have participated and succeeded in vlogging every day in August for the past two years, so I signed up again this year and am hoping I can keep my streak going. It's going to be a challenge with all of the other things I have going on, but I'm going to try for it.

For those of you who don't know, a vlog is a video blog, usually posted on YouTube. That's it. People talking about stuff in video form, and they post it and we all comment on each other's vlogs and it's an interesting way to make friends in this crazy cyber world of ours. The last person I tried dating, I met through VEDA.

The thing about VEDA for me, though, is that I want to make fun videos. I want to make content that is engaging and entertaining and maybe has some production values not found in some other vlogs. I try not to shoot them on my phone if I can avoid it, I try to make sure I am audible and properly lit. I even make the occasional parody video to avoid being just a talking head all of the time. It's fun. A lot of other vloggers look for the real, intimate connection that comes from being a talking head talking about your most intimate moments - fears, hopes, dreams, whatnot. Last year, I felt I missed out on some of the community that forms around VEDA since I was focused on my own content and since I didn't necessarily have a weepy connection video where I poured my heart out. I poured my heart out in other ways, which spoke to a different audience. Which is fine.

So I find myself in the position of wanting to keep myself entertained making these videos as much as I want to keep my audience entertained and engaged. But how much of the community do I sacrifice for the sake of creative content? How much creative content do I sacrifice for the sake of community? I don't know yet. We'll see where the month takes me.

Oh, and if you want to check out the videos I'll be making, you can subscribe to my YouTube channel here. Subscribing ensures you won't miss anything. If you want to check out the other vloggers or join the fun, you can sign up here.

See you on the interweb!

July 29 - Thoughts on Acting

It's funny; a lot of people think it's odd that I consider myself an introvert yet I am so passionate about acting. They think it an odd contradiction to be an introvert but to "crave the spotlight" that comes from performance. The other day, I think I figured it out, and I've been trying to put it into words that are understandable and make sense.

I love acting because it is not about me.

This probably flies in the face of what a lot of actors believe. I have had teachers say that every actor has to have a ginormous ego, every actor has to think they are the best in the world. I think to some extent, that is true - every actor needs to believe in himself and his abilities. But acting itself, for me, is not about me. It is about everyone but me, so it feels comfortable. Let me see if I can explain.

If acting is living truthfully under imaginary circumstances, then what I put on stage will never actually be me. It will be versions of me that are subjected to imaginary, extraordinary circumstances. And the more extraordinary the circumstances, the less actual "me" is there. It becomes an exercise of "what if I had been born to a poor family in the south in 1862 instead of to a middle class family in Chicago in 1977? How would I then react to being courted by someone of a different social standing than me?" There is an element of me in there - my logic, my thought patterns - but the situations and the words are someone else's. It's not about my life on stage, it is about theirs. My job is to bring another person to life. The side effect is that I feel like I get to live more fully because I get to experience all of these other things, through the eyes of other people, that I would not normally if I spent my entire life just being me.

To take it one step further, I believe that as an actor, my job is to make my scene partner look good. I am going to go into every scene I do trying to give my partner what he or she needs to get where he or she needs to be to make the scene work. Hopefully, he or she is doing the same for me. So that's not about me, either. And when I am not doing a scene, but rather a monologue, my job is to make the audience or viewer feel something. It is my job to take them along with me on my emotional journey. So every moment I spend on stage is spent trying to elicit a reaction from someone else. It's not about me.

And even further, and specifically as it pertains to film as opposed to theater, it is about the production design and camera angles and lighting design and music and special effects and whatnot. Film is not an actor's medium. I don't say that to be harsh or to belittle film in any way; I quite love the art of filmmaking and I love performing in films. But I know when I do so, it is not about me. The right editor can make or break an actor's performance. The film would not happen without all of the technicians there, I'm just standing in front of their scenery saying words.

So as an introvert who hates calling attention to herself, it makes perfect sense to me that I would seek out a career where I get to spend time in public (so as to not appear insane) being someone other than myself. I love myself; don't get me wrong. But if people are going to be paying that much attention to me, what better way to allow them to do so without feeling like my personal space is overly imposed upon than to put on a character and do a show?

I don't know that I'm explaining it very well. Suffice it to say that I love acting because it is not about me, and that statement makes perfect sense in my head. I love acting because it is not about me.

July 26 - Words

Hey!

Just a quick blurb. Tomorrow I am shooting two extremely dialogue-intense scenes in Hamlet, so I've spent the week cramming as many Shakespearean words into my brain as possible, which has left very little space for words of my own. I'm not complaining, mind you. I love the puzzle of figuring out what all of these words mean when said in this particular order, and what sort of mindset I would have to be in to say them in this order at this particular time. It's fascinating and fun and brilliant and I friggin' love Shakespeare.

Doing Shakespeare as a film is interesting and challenging - much different than doing Shakespeare as a theatrical production. See, in theater, you have at least a couple of weeks, sometimes a month or two to rehearse, which means you're saying the words and performing the motions every day for weeks until they are so ingrained in you that you can't screw them up. Film does not usually have the luxury of extended rehearsal periods. Often times, you show up to set with your lines memorized and figure out the blocking and props and whatnot on the day. It feels a bit more like "winging it." With Shakespeare, "winging it" is a challenge, because there are very specific words that have to happen in a very specific order and I know professional Equity actors who are thrown for a loop if they have to switch in which hand they hold a prop. So it has required a lot of patience on the part of our entire cast and crew to make these scenes happen the way they are supposed to happen. And since I haven't had weeks and months to say these lines to my scene partners, I find myself cramming for each shoot the week before. I figure at the very least if I know my lines inside and out, hopefully whatever other wrenches are thrown into the system on the day of the shoot, I can handle them. I'm not sure if this is the best way to go about things, but it's working so far. I think.

Anyway. I have a lot of lines tomorrow that I need to make sure are in my head in the right order, so I don't have very many original thoughts floating around in my brain at the moment. It's my own "brainish apprehension." Which hopefully will not inspire me to stab someone through a curtain. Anyway.

Enjoy your evening!

July 21 - To Be

I filmed quite possibly the most famous monologue in history today, which may also be the most perfect monologue in history. "To be or not to be." You may know the rest, or think you do, or you may not know any more than those six words. But you know them. You've heard them. Today, I got to say them as if they were mine own.

It is frightening to play Hamlet, because everyone has played Hamlet and everyone thinks their take on Hamlet is the best. Tackling this role invites criticism, practically begs for it. But when you're saying these words that have been said a million times before, you can't dwell on the fact that they have been said a million times before. You can't say them knowing they are cliche. You have to say them for real. With honesty and consideration. As if they have never been said before. As if each word is a brand new thought that just occurred to you in the moment. 

I hope I was able to do that today. I don't know if I brought anything new to the words (other than my gender), but I did my best to say them as if they were mine. And I loved saying them. There is a reason that speech has endured as long as it has. 

To be or not to be. I hope I was. 

July 13 - Hamlet Update

So we shot the fencing and the dying today and I have to say, I so love this project. I love being Hamlet, I love the cast, I love the energy that surrounds it. And I hope, with every fiber of my being, that it turns out an end product that other people can love as much as I do.

The rest is silence.

July 12 - Nerves

I'm nervous about tomorrow's shoot. Tomorrow, we fence and we die. There is a lot that is going to have to go into these scenes and I hope we are able to get all of it given the time constraints surrounding the production. So I'm nervous.

That's all. And Pacific Rim is ridiculous - I can't wait for the movie physics guys to get their hands on it. This coming from a non-physicist. It is ridiculous. I highly recommend you see it so we can laugh about it together.

Have a good night!

June 23 - ...And We're Off!

Principle photography for Hamlet: The Series starts today.

Holy fuck.

I have other things that I need to get done today before I show up to the set this afternoon, but all I want to do today is creative stuff. I want to play my guitar and take my time getting ready and practice my lines and just have a freaking day of Hamlet.

I'm nervous and scared and excited and humbled and I think a good cry would do me some good. Which is fortunate, because one of the things we are filming today is a soliloquy that always makes me cry when I say it, so the more I practice, the more I get to cry. Which sounds weird. But I'm freaking nervous, you guys! I'm nervous. I was originally cast in the summer of 2011, and here we are in the summer of 2013, finally getting some of this work down on film. It's been a long road already, and in many ways, it still feels like it's just starting. And before we know it, it will be over and we'll have a finished product to share with the world.

I hope I remember to stay true to me and to stay true to Hamlet and to stay in the moment and to use my words and my actions to effect my scene partner.

I get to be Hamlet today, guys.

I get to be Hamlet.

June 4 - Reminder

"Everything will be all right in the end, and if it is not all right, then it is not the end."

This is probably an old proverb from somewhere, but I know it from The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. I think it applies to many other situations, too.

April 18 - Forty-Two

There is a man who turns forty-two today. Actually, I'm sure there are many men (and women) who turn forty-two today, but there is one in particular that I would like to talk about. I've never met him, but his existence holds special significance for me, as does the number forty-two, so I feel like I'm on a bit of a geek overload today.

This particular man gets to spend his forty second birthday filming the fiftieth anniversary episode of Doctor Who. If there is a geek Nirvana, that would be it.

Like I said, I've never met this man, and am therefore acutely aware of the fact that his significance to me could be considered really weird and creepy. This is partially why I'm posting about him here on my blog which he will likely never see as opposed to jumping on the Tumblr bandwagon or whatever. I don't want to come off as some crazy stalker fan with crazy expectations of meeting him someday or anything like that. I just want to try to put into words what his art means to me.

Because it is that - his art - that means the most to me. Don't get me wrong - by all accounts, he's a really nice guy and given the opportunity, I'd love to chat with him. Everyone I know who has met him says he is absolutely lovely. Whenever I see him interviewed, he is charming and intelligent and witty and fun. He seems like the sort who knows how lucky he is to do what he does and it seems like he treasures every moment of it. He also comes across as very well-balanced. He does not have his own Facebook or Twitter accounts, and he does not talk much about his personal life with the press. It seems to me like he has learned how to be an actor in the public eye without losing his right to privacy as a human being.

But his acting... I am drawn to him particularly because of the energy he pours into every project he does. Sometimes it's a bit much (like in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire), but even when he is not stellar (which he is most of the time), he is fearless. He is present. He is invested. And he is so good in so many things. His Hamlet is brilliant. I've never seen him creepier than in Secret Smile. I think everyone who saw The Decoy Bride fell in love with him just a little bit. When some of my girl friends saw him for the first time in Fright Night, they said they completely understood my love and admiration for this man. There is even a silent short film called Traffic Warden where he's helping this woman get her goldfish back into water wherein he is so charming and delightful. At a time when being disconnected and apathetic is trendy, it is refreshing and brilliant to watch an actor who is invested, who is involved, who actually loves doing what he gets to do on a daily basis. And this brilliance is magnified by the fact that he happens to be a nice person who others enjoy working with at the same time. He did not have to choose between being nice and being talented - he has managed to do both. For that, I applaud him. Because of that, I look to him as an inspiration for who I want to be as a performer and what sort of career I would like to have.

(Side note: I'm not crazy person who wants to be him, but I am inspired by him to find my voice as a performer and mold my career into something I can be proud of from all viewpoints.)

So today, on his forty second birthday, when much of the internet is saying that he is now officially the answer to life, the universe, and everything, I would just like to say thank you. Thank you, David Tennant, for... Just thank you. I hope I get to work with you someday, and if I ever have that opportunity, I hope I am able to keep up. If I don't, I hope you get to see my Hamlet someday and I hope it makes you smile.

Happy birthday, David Tennant, and here is to many, many more.

April 10 - Two Months

So I have about two months to get myself into the physical shape I want to be in for filming Hamlet. So technically, Hamlet's father is dying right about now - how does she take that? Not well, obviously, but what does her grief look like? Is she an ice-cream-for-dinner-every-night grief eater? Is she a workout-to-avoid-dealing-with-stuff gym monkey? Probably not. She's probably somewhere in between. Though I think I could see her as more the wallowing-so-much-I-forgot-to-eat type.

Who am I kidding? This is less about what I want my Hamlet to look like and more about I don't like how far my tummy is sticking out at the moment. So two months. Two months of regular exercise and eating right. I think I can handle that.

I can handle that.

Right?

March 19 - Stuff

Quick update - yesterday's freak out was unnecessary. I'm not saying that to belittle an event in my life; I'm saying it because I read something wrong so there was no reason to freak out. Anyway, everything is on track, the light at the end of the tunnel is in the same place it was before. Moving on...

I get to learn how to fence today. At least, I get to start learning how to fence. I am so excited and so nervous all at the same time. From what I remember about the guy I will be fencing with, he's about 37 feet tall and built like a bean pole, so of course all of my own self-image issues are coming into question today from "Why am I so short" to "Why is my ass so big" to "Why am I a freaking girl" to "What if he secretly resents the fact that I get to play Hamlet because it has always been his dream role" and "What if he thinks I'm terrible and not talented and he should have had this opportunity instead of me?" It's kind of an emotional day.

This is also the first real "rehearsal" for our "Hamlet." Everything I've done thus far has been part of the audition process and/or part of the "please give us money through Kickstarter" process. This is the first opportunity I will have to look a cast mate in the eye and say, "I am so excited that you are part of this process." Which I plan on saying. I hope I remember to say that. Believe it or not, I am very easily intimidated when I first meet another actor - I always think they are going to be better than me and we're both going to know it. That usually goes away very quickly, as I'm sure it will tonight.

I'm confident in my ability to learn how to fence. I have a dance background, so I'm good with balance and spacial awareness. I've studied stage combat (a bit) before, so I understand keeping safety concerns in the front of your mind. And I think I'm actually a lot better at a lot of things than I give myself credit for, so there is no reason to think I would not be able to learn this and do it well.

Hooray for new projects! And hooray for starting the real work on "Hamlet!"

This post brought to you by everyone's favorite punctuation mark, the quotation mark. Thanks, "quotes!"

March 11 - The Great and Powerful Oz

I don't normally do movie reviews, but I do feel like I need to say a few things about Oz the Great and Powerful, which I saw last night with some friends. There may be spoilers, I haven't decided yet, so if you've not seen it and want to be surprised, you might want to stop reading now and come back tomorrow. Then again, there isn't a whole lot to give away, so it may not matter.

First, some background. I have not read Mr. Baum's books. I know I should have, or maybe I read Return to Oz when I was really young, but I don't really remember it. My most outstanding memories of this franchise have to do with the the original Wizard of Oz film with Judy Garland. I was obsessed with this film as a child, to the point where I told a random woman in the grocery store who came up and asked what my name was that I was Dorothy Gale from Kansas when I was about three. I had a little wooden toy dog with wheels instead of legs that I would drag around behind me who was, of course, named Toto even though he looked nothing like Toto. And I was devastated every year when the Easter basket had to go back into the attic for storage because it was a necessary prop for my Wizard of Oz games. I love the Wizard of Oz. I know all of the music. I know most of the dialogue by heart. I do killer impressions of the Lullaby League and the Lollipop Guild. I was upset when we did a version of it in junior high and I was only in the chorus. We did a Wizard of Oz tap dance number when I was about six and I was annoyed that I was a Tin Man instead of Dorothy (though looking back, the Tin Man costumes were the best ones). I cannot imagine my childhood without the Wizard of Oz, so I was very much looking forward to Oz the Great and Powerful, and I was very much ready to suspend my disbelief and journey back to Oz.

That said, there were things that I loved about this film and things that I wish had been done better.

First off, I loved the production design. I feel like it stayed true to the designs of the original film so locations were easily recognizable and characters were recognizable and whatnot, but it still brought in some modern flare so it didn't feel like an exact copy. The colors were gorgeous. The costumes were lovely. The film started out in black and white (as did the original), and in a smaller frame - a more square picture that didn't fill the entire movie screen. The transition from that to the full screen full color world of Oz was beautifully done. Absolutely beautiful. There are two main CGI characters in Oz who were also beautifully done (most of the time) and some of the most sympathetic characters in the film.

Where the production design bothered me, though, was in this one little tendril of hair Glinda had sticking out from her crown - why? What was the point of this? - and in the Wicked Witch herself. I wanted more. I wanted uglier. I wanted scarier. Sam Raimi made this a 3D film and took full advantage of opportunities to scare the audience by using big in your face moments. Yes, her chin is a little pointy. Yes, her nose is a little pointy. Yes, she's green. But she's still Mila Kunis. She's still gorgeous. And that face screaming in the audience's face isn't nearly the stuff of nightmares that the original Wicked Witch was. Which I think speaks a bit to the performance, as well. Once she turns green, she mostly just shouts. She's not cunning, she's not sneaky, she's not...wicked. She just shouts. And, as I have said before in regard to Doctor Who, you can stand and face the Daleks, or you can STAND AND FACE THE DALEKS. This Wicked Witch stood and faced the Daleks, so to speak. Even her evil sister (Rachel Weisz) didn't come off as all that evil. Maybe because we never found out what their actual plan was, other than kill Glinda. We know they had killed in the past; we know they want to get rid of Glinda. Maybe it is because the film is PG, they couldn't go really dark and evil with these characters, but wanting to murder a rival is...tired. Unless it's for some really dark, new, interesting reason. But there was no real reason presented other than maybe that they just didn't like her.

There are those who will say, "But the evil witches wanted control of the Emerald City!" So did Glinda! So did Oz! And when he visits the Emerald City (which is under Evanora's rule (sort of - she's looking after it in the absence of any real authority figure)) toward the beginning of his adventures in Oz, the City doesn't look to be doing too badly. Nothing is falling apart. The citizens don't appear to be suffering. We find out later that the Wicked Witch has destroyed China Town, but I don't know. I didn't see any motivations for any of that, and I didn't seen enough just plain evil in the portrayal of either evil witch.

Speaking of China Town, the little China girl is adorable. So beautifully done and so sympathetic. So full of pure, good intentions, and also a strong female character which is that much more fun because she is made of China. My only issue with her is that she is CGI and I don't think the actors who had to interact with her were given anything with which they could simulate interacting with her. For instance, when Naomi Watts had to be picked up by King Kong in King Kong, they built a big green screen hand to surround her so when she was pounding on King Kong's fist to let her go, there was something actually there for her to hit. When James Franco and Michelle Williams had to pick up the China girl, they looked like they were mimicking picking something up that they didn't know how big or heavy it was supposed to be. Which is unfortunate. Were it not for the real actor's inability to interact with the China girl, she would have been one of the most alive characters on screen.

You could see there were other moments where the live action actors were uncomfortable, too, in some of the green screen work and some of the wire work. In what I'm guessing is the first scene Rachel Weisz shot on wires, she is supposed to lift off the ground in a terrifying moment of power. Her face tells a very different story, like she's terrified the wires are going to snap or she's going to vomit. It's hard to be intimidating when you're petrified. Similarly, Glinda is being tortured at one point, to the point where I'm presuming she should be near death, yet her "cries of agony" were more in line with someone who just stubbed her toe on an empty cardboard box. I'm not saying these moments had to be over the top campy scary. I'm saying as an audience member and an actor, I found myself wishing they had all raised the stakes three or four notches. The film would have been much more exciting if there was something behind these characters.

Which brings me to the Wizard himself. He's supposed to be a magician/swindler/ladies' man, and it is this fact that is supposed to be his undoing in Oz once those who have faith in him find out what he's really like. Thing is, what magician isn't a trickster? Magic is all about slight of hand and shifting focus and distraction and whatnot. So why is this such a tremendous source of shame? I don't think this painted him as the horrible human being we're supposed to find out that he is. He is a ladies' man, yes, who has apparently seduced (or tried to seduce) every woman in the circus with a music box gimmick that is more sad-trombone-comical than sleazy, and we see that he doesn't pay his assistant fairly, but he does pay him. We even see him performing a trick in Kansas, before getting to Oz, that inspires a young girl in a wheelchair to ask him to make her walk.  Knowing he can't do it, he refuses and does not take her parent's money. This makes him a bad guy how? He didn't take advantage of the vulnerable family. I guess I would have liked to see him be more of a swindler, more of a trickster so it's surprising and redemptive when he turns out to be helpful. If he's a basically good guy who has some flaws...where do you go with that? He's not bad enough for you to hate him, not good enough for you to sympathize with him. The way he is presented in the film, he's just afraid of commitment. Meh.

Now, keep in mind, this is based on a book which I have not read. Maybe that is how the story actually goes. As an actor and as a director, though, you can find the spaces between the lines to emphasize the points that need to come across in a story. And yes, this movie is PG so you're not going to go super crazy with it, but if they are going to make him a ladies' man, if they are going to make Theodora become the Wicked Witch because of an unrequited love/jealousy thing, if they are going to end the film with Oz hitting on Glinda, they could have raised the stakes in the portrayal of evil a little more. Hell, Maleficent was a scarier, more evil witch than either wicked witch in this movie and that film was rated G. Return to Oz scared the shit out of me as a kid and haunted me for years, and it's rated PG. I just think they could have done more here.

I liked that they used actors from Kansas to play characters in Oz, like they did in the original film. In the original film, though, it is implied that the whole thing is a dream Dorothy had after hitting her head during the tornado, which is why those characters look familiar. She realizes that there is no place like home and a beautiful lesson is learned. In Oz the Great and Powerful, he stays in Oz to be the Wizard - so what was the point behind this "double casting?" Is this also supposed to be a dream or a fantasy in his head from which he never wakes up? You get the lesson he learns from the China girl, but there isn't an over-arching message to the film. Unless it is that if you trick people, you can build a nice life for yourself. Or that maybe comas aren't such a bad way to go. Or something. I don't know. It was confused.

So yeah, the film has some problems. I loved the China girl. I loved Finley. I loved the colors and I loved (most of) Danny Elfman's music (surprise, surprise). The "battle" toward the end is clever and fun, and a really nice tribute to the original film. I love all of the little Easter eggs thrown in for true Wizard of Oz fans. I'm glad I saw it because it is a beautiful spectacle of a film. I hope that children these days still see the original Wizard of Oz before they see this one, though, or I am afraid they will never fall in love with the Land of Oz like I did when I was a kid. I would hate to deprive a child of the wonder that is the Land of Oz.

March 4 - A Little Bit of a Rant

I went to the movies last night with a couple of friends, and I had decided long before I even got to the theater that I was going to buy some candy to eat during the film. Going to the movies is still sort of an indulgent experience for me. You spend more money than you want to spend to get lost in some fantasy world for a couple of hours, and you might as well have a snack while you're doing it, right? At the very least, a beverage so you can stay hydrated while watching the movie (despite the fact that almost all available beverages at the movie theater are known to dehydrate people, but whatever. You know what I mean).

So my friends and I had a beverage or two in the bar before going into the theater, and I stopped at the concession stand on the way in, looking for Dots - those little gumdrop thingies - because in all honesty, I miss gummy candies. I don't eat gelatin, and most gummy stuff contains gelatin, so I miss it because I used to love the squishy sort of texture. Dots do not contain gelatin, so they are my go-to for when I want something chewy. So I went to the concession stand and looked at the boxed candy and almost didn't see the Dots because they came only in a 2.25oz box. Something smaller than a box of cigarettes. I was looking for the 16-20oz box they usually have a the movie theater. The box big enough to share with your friends. The box big enough to put you into a sugar coma and make you feel ill. The box big enough to make sure every single tooth in your mouth gets covered in gummy goodness that you have to use your tongue to peel off throughout the film and halfway home afterward. I almost missed the 2.25oz single-serving box - the box smaller in size than what you find at your local drug or variety store - hidden between the Twizzlers and the chocolate covered peanuts. But I found it, and bought it - two dollars.

Now, I realize that in general, candy sizes have gotten smaller to save movie theaters money and to discourage people from overeating. Like that whole outlawing of super sized soft drinks thing in New York City - people figure if only smaller portions are available, people will consume less. This may be a valid point - since I only had one serving of Dots to eat, I only ate one serving, as opposed to the two or three I would likely have eaten if the larger box had been available.

But at the same time, I was incensed that my movie candy was now only available in mini. What if I want to indulge at the theater? What if I want to gorge myself on sugar and get really hyper? What if, god forbid, I wanted to share with my friends? This tiny candy portion discourages sharing, unless you and your group are each okay with eating two Dots. Who wants to eat just two Dots? Yes, I know I could have purchased more than one box, but that then falls into the shame spiral - an effective method to keep people from overeating. And at a movie theater that still offers a 32oz soft drink and a vat of popcorn the size of a six-year-old's head, it seems a little odd to shrink the size of the candy boxes so drastically. If we're trying to prevent people from consuming so much sugar, shouldn't a 12oz or even a 20oz soda be the limit? It's like drinking a diet soda while eating ten glazed donuts - why cut back on one but not the other?

I realize that this totally falls under the heading of First World Problems. There are millions out there who don't have enough to eat in the first place, so the thought of getting a candy treat now and again is completely foreign and something they maybe dream of. Complaining that there isn't enough candy to eat themselves into a diabetic coma is the last thing on their minds. I know I have no right to complain. It just struck me as odd and cheap and a really strange marker of these changing times in which we live.

Now, if movie theaters wanted to start serving hummus and veggies in an effort to make things healthier, I'd be all over that. Until then, allow me my sugar coma. Please?

February 2 - Yes

I'm a credits watcher. When a movie ends, I stick around and watch the credits. Making movies is a very long process that involves hundreds of people sometimes, and most of those people, you've never heard of. You know who the actors are, and the director, sometimes the writer. But who is the last great key grip you knew? What's a key grip? Exactly.

Actually, I know what a key grip is. It's a bit of a gopher job, but still. The key grip contributed to the movie and was probably over the moon the first time she saw her name roll up the screen. So out of respect for the hundreds of people who work together over the course of several months, I watch movie credits. They all deserve recognition, I think, and watching credits is my way of doing that.

I've also been watching a lot of bad movies lately, though. My best guy friend and I try to see the worst movie in the theater on major holidays, so I've seen some real crap lately. Which has moved me away from my desire to watch the credits. I know it's mean and dismissive, but when I'm praying for a movie to end five minutes after it started, it is a relief to be able to bolt as soon as the credits roll. To the people involved in those movies, I apologize, both for the fact that you had to make that movie and that I didn't stick around to see your name roll up the screen.

Tonight, though, I saw "Warm Bodies." And I had to stay to watch the credits. I would have watched twenty minutes of credits for that movie. I don't want to gush about themes or lessons or whose performances were amazing and why. I just want to thank every single person involved in the making of that film for making that film. Watching "Warm Bodies" was the kind of experience I've been missing in going to the movies for quite some time, and I didn't realize how much I missed good, fun movies until I watched this one. So thank you. To the stars, the director, the writers, the key grips, the gaffers, the effects team, the music coordinators, everyone. Thank you for making a really fun movie. Thank you for reminding me why I watch the credits.