And then there is day seven of the diet. When your body starts to notice that it isn't getting as much food as it used to get and starts bugging you about it. Your hunger reflex doesn't shut off, even though you ate your afternoon snack alongside your lunch. You start to dream of the soda you've not had in a week, the sugar you're avoiding, the evening spent watching television eating chips and salsa.
But you're proud of yourself because last night, instead of reaching for the chips, you had celery and hummus and even though your evening was kind of busy, you walked to your appointment so you got two miles of walking in on a day when you weren't sure if you were going to be able to work out. Hooray for healthy living!
But the scale this morning went up a pound and a half from where it was yesterday morning. Even though you got exercise and stayed within your calorie/fat/protein/carbohydrate ranges.
Dieting sucks. It really sucks. I'm not going to lie and say I feel better or lighter or have more energy or any of that crap people tell you to try to get you to diet, too. Dieting sucks. It really really does. But I'm curious to know what I would look like and how I would feel if I was about twenty pounds lighter than I am now (or nineteen, according to this morning's scale; seventeen and a half according to yesterday's). I've never been small; I've never been obese. And while there are no guarantees that I will be any happier or get any roles I wouldn't have otherwise gotten if I become thinner, I kind of want to try it out and see what happens. So I'm sticking with it. I'm going to make a healthy dinner and get some exercise while I do my laundry tonight, and I'm going to try to figure out how to get some exercise in tomorrow, too. Because seriously, Scale, fuck you for saying I gained a pound and a half overnight when I did what I was supposed to. Fuck you.
Tune in next time for more of the dieting saga...
Showing posts with label exercise. Show all posts
Showing posts with label exercise. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Monday, February 24, 2014
February 24 - Diets
I think the worst part of a diet starts at about day four or five and continues until one decides to give up and not diet anymore.
See, for the first few days of a calorie-reduction/increased-exercise diet, it's really not that bad. It's kind of fun piecing meals together so that they fit within your daily allowances and still have nutritional value. You feel like you have control over things as you measure out a quarter cup of nuts for an afternoon snack. And when you step on the scale each morning, you see instant progress as you lose water weight and bloat. You start to think, "This is totally doable."
But then you hit day four or five and you start to think, "I've worked out hard for the last few days; I should probably give myself a rest day now," so you remind yourself how easy it is to just sit and watch television instead of running while doing so. And while you still remain within your calorie limits, you start to get annoyed with how frequently you have to wash your measuring cups and why the hell did you buy measuring cups you can't put in the dishwasher in the first place? And probably the biggest blow to your momentum - when you step on the scale in the morning, it says the same exact thing it said yesterday. Now that the water weight and bloat are gone, it's time to actually burn fat and lose real weight, so the progress you see goes much slower. And it sucks. You start to think about all of the hard work you've been putting in and you're seeing no results anymore so you question whether or not it is worth it. Doesn't chocolate cake make you feel just as good as stepping on the scale and seeing a smaller number? And chocolate cake is more immediate.
This is where I am right now.
On Thursday of last week, I started keeping track of my food intake again. I woke up and jogged in my living room for thirty minutes, followed by about twenty minutes of hula hooping. Nothing fancy, just keeping the hoop going for about twenty minutes. I did this on Friday and Saturday, too, and managed to stay within my calorie range even through Sunday (though I gave myself a day off from working out). And this morning, my scale said what it did yesterday. About two and a half pounds down from Thursday, but the same as it was yesterday. Meaning, I know the hard part it just starting.
I'm not sure where I'm drawing my motivation from. As I posted last week, there are no guarantees in life, so who's to say losing weight will affect any other aspect of my life? Then again, who's to say it won't? But I want to do this. I want to try, anyway. I haven't figured out my exact goal weight, or what sort of reward to give myself if I reach it, but I know I'd like to be in better shape than I am right now. So no matter how miserable it is, measuring out each and every grape I consume, forcing myself to hoop or run or dance for twenty minutes every day, I'm going to try to stick with this beyond day four or five.
Wish me luck!
See, for the first few days of a calorie-reduction/increased-exercise diet, it's really not that bad. It's kind of fun piecing meals together so that they fit within your daily allowances and still have nutritional value. You feel like you have control over things as you measure out a quarter cup of nuts for an afternoon snack. And when you step on the scale each morning, you see instant progress as you lose water weight and bloat. You start to think, "This is totally doable."
But then you hit day four or five and you start to think, "I've worked out hard for the last few days; I should probably give myself a rest day now," so you remind yourself how easy it is to just sit and watch television instead of running while doing so. And while you still remain within your calorie limits, you start to get annoyed with how frequently you have to wash your measuring cups and why the hell did you buy measuring cups you can't put in the dishwasher in the first place? And probably the biggest blow to your momentum - when you step on the scale in the morning, it says the same exact thing it said yesterday. Now that the water weight and bloat are gone, it's time to actually burn fat and lose real weight, so the progress you see goes much slower. And it sucks. You start to think about all of the hard work you've been putting in and you're seeing no results anymore so you question whether or not it is worth it. Doesn't chocolate cake make you feel just as good as stepping on the scale and seeing a smaller number? And chocolate cake is more immediate.
This is where I am right now.
On Thursday of last week, I started keeping track of my food intake again. I woke up and jogged in my living room for thirty minutes, followed by about twenty minutes of hula hooping. Nothing fancy, just keeping the hoop going for about twenty minutes. I did this on Friday and Saturday, too, and managed to stay within my calorie range even through Sunday (though I gave myself a day off from working out). And this morning, my scale said what it did yesterday. About two and a half pounds down from Thursday, but the same as it was yesterday. Meaning, I know the hard part it just starting.
I'm not sure where I'm drawing my motivation from. As I posted last week, there are no guarantees in life, so who's to say losing weight will affect any other aspect of my life? Then again, who's to say it won't? But I want to do this. I want to try, anyway. I haven't figured out my exact goal weight, or what sort of reward to give myself if I reach it, but I know I'd like to be in better shape than I am right now. So no matter how miserable it is, measuring out each and every grape I consume, forcing myself to hoop or run or dance for twenty minutes every day, I'm going to try to stick with this beyond day four or five.
Wish me luck!
Friday, October 25, 2013
October 25 - Exercise
Much like Randall who hates people but loves gatherings, I love physical activity but I hate exercise. Lemme explain. No, there is too much, let me sum up.
Wow, conflicting movie references in the opening paragraph. Sorry about that. It's Friday and I'm eating Sour Beans, so that should tell you how the day is going.
So physical activity. Our three hour rehearsal last night was time spent with a fight choreographer, working out a rather complex "melee" with seven actors, trying to make it all look good and funny while keeping everyone safe and visible and out of harm's way. There was a lot of running around and jumping and squatting and using levels and letting out shrieks and shouting and, well, fun. It was fun. It was a blast. I love that kind of thing. And when I was in the play about the roller derby, I enjoyed the skating bits. My favorite part was getting to the theater and in gear early enough that I had the track to myself for a little while. Not to mention the years I spent as a social (and then semi-professional) lindy hopper. I love moving my body. I love figuring out what it can do. I love the physical exhaustion that comes after a night of dancing or three hours of running around a table trying to get away from my "husband," or an afternoon of fencing drills. I love it. I honestly do.
I hate, however, going to the gym. I hate running on a treadmill for a predetermined length of time or "distance." I hate putting on work-out gear and setting some goal like "I want to bench press 60lbs twenty times today." I know that is how you supposedly "get in shape" or "tone muscles" or whatever, but to me, it is boring as toast. Undercooked white toast that has neither crunch nor color. When I find I need to have something else going on to make my exercise palpable, it's no longer fun.
So the question is this: how do I continue to get exercise without exercising? How do I keep at doing different things that keep me challenged and entertained and motivated without running up and down the street at 5am? How do I keep it new and fresh and fun so I can fool myself into enjoying the workout?
I'm honestly asking. Because the only thing I can come up with is to keep taking roles in shows that have some physical challenge, some physical component, some physical task that I have to learn during the rehearsal process.
Actually, that's not a bad idea.
Wow, conflicting movie references in the opening paragraph. Sorry about that. It's Friday and I'm eating Sour Beans, so that should tell you how the day is going.
So physical activity. Our three hour rehearsal last night was time spent with a fight choreographer, working out a rather complex "melee" with seven actors, trying to make it all look good and funny while keeping everyone safe and visible and out of harm's way. There was a lot of running around and jumping and squatting and using levels and letting out shrieks and shouting and, well, fun. It was fun. It was a blast. I love that kind of thing. And when I was in the play about the roller derby, I enjoyed the skating bits. My favorite part was getting to the theater and in gear early enough that I had the track to myself for a little while. Not to mention the years I spent as a social (and then semi-professional) lindy hopper. I love moving my body. I love figuring out what it can do. I love the physical exhaustion that comes after a night of dancing or three hours of running around a table trying to get away from my "husband," or an afternoon of fencing drills. I love it. I honestly do.
I hate, however, going to the gym. I hate running on a treadmill for a predetermined length of time or "distance." I hate putting on work-out gear and setting some goal like "I want to bench press 60lbs twenty times today." I know that is how you supposedly "get in shape" or "tone muscles" or whatever, but to me, it is boring as toast. Undercooked white toast that has neither crunch nor color. When I find I need to have something else going on to make my exercise palpable, it's no longer fun.
So the question is this: how do I continue to get exercise without exercising? How do I keep at doing different things that keep me challenged and entertained and motivated without running up and down the street at 5am? How do I keep it new and fresh and fun so I can fool myself into enjoying the workout?
I'm honestly asking. Because the only thing I can come up with is to keep taking roles in shows that have some physical challenge, some physical component, some physical task that I have to learn during the rehearsal process.
Actually, that's not a bad idea.
Sunday, September 01, 2013
September 1 - New Challenge
Rabbit, rabbit! September first!
Well, I did it. I woke up and worked out. I've been trying to keep moving throughout the day as best I can, because the workout program I tried today had no cool-down or stretch built into the end of it. I did some stretching on my own, but still. Who creates a workout program without a cool-down and stretch at the end?
The jury is still out for me on the food front. Part of me says if I'm exercising every day, I should watch what I'm eating, too, for maximum get-in-shape-ed-ness, but I also don't want to end up feeling hungry like I do just about every other time I do the diet and exercise thing together. So I finished off my pad Thai from last night, and baked brownies to go with the giant salad I had for dinner. The brownies are made with fresh blackberries and judging by the batter, might be the tastiest brownies I've ever had. Because the thing about eating well is that it should nourish your mind, soul, and body all at the same time, and every now and again, my soul needs chocolate. If I deny myself that chocolate, well, I become a bitter person.
I also did a nice big grocery shop, and was so impressed with the gorgeous colors of the foods I bought - tomatoes, bell peppers, green beans, butternut squash, blackberries, raspberries, carrots. Is it because I'm vegan that my shopping basket is so beautiful, or does everyone's look like that?
So Exercise Every Day in September is off to a rousing start. I almost feel like jogging a bit while I watch television this evening, but that might be overkill. Tomorrow, I will get some exercise and make a beautiful minestrone soup with all of the colors of the rainbow. Maybe this being healthy "as if it were my job" thing isn't going to be so bad.
Monday, August 26, 2013
August 26 - If Only I Was Getting Paid for This...
It's funny - when I see the super skinny celebrities walking around with amazing yoga arms, I think to myself that I could look like that, too, if it was my job to get up and work out every day. Because think about it, when they're not actively working on a project, but are still living off the royalties of sitcoms long since syndicated, what else do they have to do? They have to maintain their appearance so they will continue to be cast-able in this crazy business we call show. I don't mean that to sound derogatory. Often times, their jobs depend on them looking a certain way.
Well, I'm an actor, too, and often times, my job depends on me looking a certain way. And I am sure I have missed out on certain roles because I don't look a certain way. But what if I did? What would happen?
It is really easy for me to claim that I'm too tired or I don't have the time or whatever, but what if I changed my thought process about the whole thing and decided that it is part of my job to work out every day? Maybe not the best motivation for working out that was ever dreamed up, but I think we have all learned from my blogging every day and my vlogging every day and my taking a selfie every day that I am capable of committing to doing something regularly and sticking to it. Why not apply this to working out?
I think I'm going to give it a try. I was originally thinking I would start on September 1, once VEDA is over, but I will admit, I'm feeling a bit of a void this morning since I don't have a Hamlet shoot this weekend (and won't for a few weeks). So maybe when I get home, I'll do a little workout. See how it goes. Pretend that getting exercise every day is part of my job.
Wish me luck!
Well, I'm an actor, too, and often times, my job depends on me looking a certain way. And I am sure I have missed out on certain roles because I don't look a certain way. But what if I did? What would happen?
It is really easy for me to claim that I'm too tired or I don't have the time or whatever, but what if I changed my thought process about the whole thing and decided that it is part of my job to work out every day? Maybe not the best motivation for working out that was ever dreamed up, but I think we have all learned from my blogging every day and my vlogging every day and my taking a selfie every day that I am capable of committing to doing something regularly and sticking to it. Why not apply this to working out?
I think I'm going to give it a try. I was originally thinking I would start on September 1, once VEDA is over, but I will admit, I'm feeling a bit of a void this morning since I don't have a Hamlet shoot this weekend (and won't for a few weeks). So maybe when I get home, I'll do a little workout. See how it goes. Pretend that getting exercise every day is part of my job.
Wish me luck!
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
April 10 - Two Months
So I have about two months to get myself into the physical shape I want to be in for filming Hamlet. So technically, Hamlet's father is dying right about now - how does she take that? Not well, obviously, but what does her grief look like? Is she an ice-cream-for-dinner-every-night grief eater? Is she a workout-to-avoid-dealing-with-stuff gym monkey? Probably not. She's probably somewhere in between. Though I think I could see her as more the wallowing-so-much-I-forgot-to-eat type.
Who am I kidding? This is less about what I want my Hamlet to look like and more about I don't like how far my tummy is sticking out at the moment. So two months. Two months of regular exercise and eating right. I think I can handle that.
I can handle that.
Right?
Who am I kidding? This is less about what I want my Hamlet to look like and more about I don't like how far my tummy is sticking out at the moment. So two months. Two months of regular exercise and eating right. I think I can handle that.
I can handle that.
Right?
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
March 19 - Stuff
Quick update - yesterday's freak out was unnecessary. I'm not saying that to belittle an event in my life; I'm saying it because I read something wrong so there was no reason to freak out. Anyway, everything is on track, the light at the end of the tunnel is in the same place it was before. Moving on...
I get to learn how to fence today. At least, I get to start learning how to fence. I am so excited and so nervous all at the same time. From what I remember about the guy I will be fencing with, he's about 37 feet tall and built like a bean pole, so of course all of my own self-image issues are coming into question today from "Why am I so short" to "Why is my ass so big" to "Why am I a freaking girl" to "What if he secretly resents the fact that I get to play Hamlet because it has always been his dream role" and "What if he thinks I'm terrible and not talented and he should have had this opportunity instead of me?" It's kind of an emotional day.
This is also the first real "rehearsal" for our "Hamlet." Everything I've done thus far has been part of the audition process and/or part of the "please give us money through Kickstarter" process. This is the first opportunity I will have to look a cast mate in the eye and say, "I am so excited that you are part of this process." Which I plan on saying. I hope I remember to say that. Believe it or not, I am very easily intimidated when I first meet another actor - I always think they are going to be better than me and we're both going to know it. That usually goes away very quickly, as I'm sure it will tonight.
I'm confident in my ability to learn how to fence. I have a dance background, so I'm good with balance and spacial awareness. I've studied stage combat (a bit) before, so I understand keeping safety concerns in the front of your mind. And I think I'm actually a lot better at a lot of things than I give myself credit for, so there is no reason to think I would not be able to learn this and do it well.
Hooray for new projects! And hooray for starting the real work on "Hamlet!"
This post brought to you by everyone's favorite punctuation mark, the quotation mark. Thanks, "quotes!"
I get to learn how to fence today. At least, I get to start learning how to fence. I am so excited and so nervous all at the same time. From what I remember about the guy I will be fencing with, he's about 37 feet tall and built like a bean pole, so of course all of my own self-image issues are coming into question today from "Why am I so short" to "Why is my ass so big" to "Why am I a freaking girl" to "What if he secretly resents the fact that I get to play Hamlet because it has always been his dream role" and "What if he thinks I'm terrible and not talented and he should have had this opportunity instead of me?" It's kind of an emotional day.
This is also the first real "rehearsal" for our "Hamlet." Everything I've done thus far has been part of the audition process and/or part of the "please give us money through Kickstarter" process. This is the first opportunity I will have to look a cast mate in the eye and say, "I am so excited that you are part of this process." Which I plan on saying. I hope I remember to say that. Believe it or not, I am very easily intimidated when I first meet another actor - I always think they are going to be better than me and we're both going to know it. That usually goes away very quickly, as I'm sure it will tonight.
I'm confident in my ability to learn how to fence. I have a dance background, so I'm good with balance and spacial awareness. I've studied stage combat (a bit) before, so I understand keeping safety concerns in the front of your mind. And I think I'm actually a lot better at a lot of things than I give myself credit for, so there is no reason to think I would not be able to learn this and do it well.
Hooray for new projects! And hooray for starting the real work on "Hamlet!"
This post brought to you by everyone's favorite punctuation mark, the quotation mark. Thanks, "quotes!"
Sunday, March 03, 2013
March 3 - Addictions
Exercise is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad addiction. It releases endorphins which make you feel good. It creates a build up of lactic acid in the muscles that you can only get rid of by exercising more. Too much of it can kill you. So please, next time your doctor tells you to exercise more, ask them if they also recommend morphine for pain and just say no.
I guess I should count myself lucky I don't have an addictive personality.
I guess I should count myself lucky I don't have an addictive personality.
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