February 9 - Auditions

From auditioning in front of casting reps to auditioning in front of potential boyfriends, it has been a long day of trying to be my best self in front of strangers so they'll want to talk to me again. I'm tired. And I hope I get as many inquiries from the casting reps as I got from potential boyfriends, if not more. 

August 16 - Update

So the new project that I added to my plate yesterday has since been removed because another person who had more time to dedicate to it was found. The director and I were both fine with that decision, so I'm back to my original slew of projects. 

Including Hamlet. We have about three days of shooting still on the schedule and then it's time to edit and do any necessary reshoots and get any voice over recordings and whatnot. I think the director is aiming for the end of the year for it to all be finished and viewable. I'm excited and terrified to see it. I hope people watch it and enjoy it. 

Which then begs the question of what's next? I have ideas, and I've had some preliminary conversations with possible collaborators, which have gone really well. And I sort of feel like at this point in my career, I have to just man up and do these things. Nobody else is going to do them for me and if I am going to have the career I want, I think I need to take control of making it happen. It is going to be a lot of work, but all worthwhile things are, aren't they?

I hope you are all doing well, and good luck to all of us!

August 11 - Quick Tidbit

What I love most about acting is that it gives me a forum in which I get to feel everything. Today, I got to feel everything. I'm exhausted and impressed that my mascara stayed where it was supposed to be and my head hurts and my eyes are dried out and I'm oh so tired. But I got to feel everything today. I got to live today.

I'd say that's a pretty good day.

June 30 - Quick Thought

Just a quick entry today to remind myself that I am blessed to belong to the family that I do. They are generous and loving and funny and brilliant and I am lucky to be counted among them. 

Love you guys. 

June 10 - It's A Cop-Out Blog!

Today is cop-out blog day! Huzzah!

The day when we all get together and just plain admit that:

1. We don't have a good idea for a topic today, and

B) They just uploaded new levels on Ruby Blast Adventures and we are completely unable to focus on anything else because as sad as it is to admit it, we've been dying for new levels for months because that fantastic crunching sound when you dig through rock is the perfect sound when dealing with an annoying day when you need something destructo-happy and it may be scary to admit it, but you're kind of stuck on destructive things at the moment after mainlining Hannibal and Whitechapel over the weekend but somehow Ruby Blast Adventures allows you to indulge in the destructo-happy without having to worry about whether or not you're going to become a serial killer or if you're going to be attacked by a serial killer. 

In short, yay for new Ruby Blast levels and huzzah for cop-out blog day!

June 5 - Um...

I've been working on a project for the past week or so that was supposed to go through the beginning of next week but has been cut short due to unforeseen circumstances. Don't worry - everyone is fine and the basic goal of the project was met, it was just...condensed. The thing is, I'm not quite sure how to feel about it. 

I was terrified when I started the project because it was unlike anything I had ever done before, but the people I was working with were great and I learned a lot from them. Because of the nature of the project, though, I likely won't see most of them again. Like with many of the projects I take on, I got to meet these amazing people, came to care about them, and we will each now move on with our lives which will likely not intersect again. And like I said, I'm not quite sure how to feel about it. I didn't get to know them well enough that I will miss them on a daily basis, and the condensed nature of the project means it didn't have as big an impact on my life as I might have originally hoped. But they were nice, and it was really nice to get out of my regular routine and do something else for a few days. I will miss that. 

So now I have a couple more days to myself before I go back to my regular job. I have a lot to do - lines to learn, cleaning to do, books to read - but there is something kind of groovy about knowing I don't have to leave my apartment until Monday if I don't want to. When was the last time that happened?

Yay introvert recharge time!

May 31 - Yup

You know when you take a look at your life and are pretty sure you can identify the area that needs the most shoring-up? And then you get a chance to do something about that problem area and realize you we're completely right about it being the problem area? That sense of relief when you get a break from the problem area?

And then knowing that the problem area will be coming back for an undetermined length of time before something long-term can be done about it?

Yeah. 

Have a good weekend!

May 17 - Quick Thought

It never ceases to amaze me how many people there are. They're everywhere. And every one of them is as complex as I am. It reminds me of how insignificant I am in the grand scheme of things, which is an oddly comforting thought. If nobody is paying attention to what I'm doing, I can do what I need to without worrying about what they think. 

May 2 - Random

I want to spend more time around kind people.

I want to be allowed to be nice more often.

I love listening to my cat purr when I hold him.

It's really freakin' windy outside.

I had nothing really interesting to say today. I'm mostly hung up on this dream of mine that someday, hopefully soon, I'll just get to be nice to people all the time. And maybe play with animals more regularly. Or more animals regularly. The sound of my cat purring may be the best thing ever.

April 27 - Observations

Old friends are the best friends.

And I miss roller skating.

*I promise I wrote this on Saturday and tried to publish it, but there was apparently no interweb connection at the derby bout.

April 24 - Horatio

I am going into another Hamlet rehearsal in just a couple of minutes, and this is the first one whereat I will be working with Horatio. I've been looking forward to this one a lot because to me, Horatio is one of the most important characters in the play. Which may seem silly as he doesn't have as much stage time as others, but Hamlet (be she male or female) l loves Horatio dearly and confides things in him that she doesn't share with others. So I feel like I'm going to meet my best friend who I haven't seen in a really long time. Someone around whom, I can just be me.

She says about an actor she's never worked with before...

My life is weird.

April 4 - Tidbit

I rode the bus to work again today, and now I'm going to have that nagging feeling in the back of my mind all day that I parked my car in the school zone last night and it's going to be towed.

March 9 - Quiet

Today is a quiet day, an introvert day, but I still wanted to post, so I'm just going to present this assertion for consideration:

Conversation is not about sharing your stories. It is about inspiring other people to share theirs.

Discuss.

March 8 - Hi

Hi.

I have too many thoughts on too many topics and not enough focusing ability to make anything coherent about any of them at the moment, so I'm just going to say hi to you guys today.

Hi.

It looks like this blog has a decent number of visitors on a daily basis - it's pretty consistent - though there are no official subscribers as of yet. It looks like there are people from all over the world popping in, for which I can only say thank you.

Thank you.

And hi! If you want to leave a comment and introduce yourself or whatever, I'd love to meet you. If not, that's okay, too. But I think today is a day about you guys. Yes, I write for my own sake, but it is a very big warm fuzzy to know that you're reading. So thank you. That's it.

Enjoy your day!

March 1 - The Things They Teach You In School

Rabbit, rabbit, it's March 1! When did that happen?

I remember as a kid in elementary school, when we were learning about the seasons, they made us learn the phrase "March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb." Meaning, spring happens in March, so at the beginning of the month the weather is annoying and winter-like, but by the end of the month, things have changed and the weather is happy and spring-like. I don't know why this particular phrase was so important to my elementary school teachers, but I remember it being on a test. They wanted us to remember "in like a lion, out like a lamb" so desperately that they tested us on it.

Sadly, Mother Nature is completely unaware of this phrase and does whatever the hell she wants with the weather.

Happy March, everybody!

February 28 - Question

There have been dozens of comedy routines written about the travesty that is the hot dog to bun ratio imbalance at the grocery store, but not one about the chip to salsa disparity that plagues this great nation. Why is that? And why is there never enough salsa for all if the chips? Why?

February 27 - Women

I have all of these thoughts floating around in my head about what it means to be a woman and what it is like to be a woman in today's American society and the crap we have to deal with and the things that make us great and I want to be able to write a brilliant, well-researched, well-organized post about all of these things that helps all of my girl friends love and celebrate exactly who they are.

I am not that organized. And I have not done all of the research.

So instead, I'm going to throw a couple ideas out there with no background, no supporting evidence, and maybe we can talk about them:

1. The idea that a perfect woman in American society should be petite is a way to devalue and dehumanize women, to steal their power.
2. The idea that a strong, powerful woman has to "normalize" herself so as to not appear threatening is a way to devalue and dehumanize the woman, to steal her power.
3. Those women who feel it necessary to "normalize" themselves, or tout their flaws (real or imaginary), in order to be likable are doing a disservice to women everywhere.

Discuss.

February 16 - Intentions

Saturdays are born of the best intentions. We face the day off from work with a list of things that need to get done - laundry, shopping, cleaning, chores, errands, social engagements. Saturdays are full of potential, when we get to do all of the things we can't do on weekdays.

And sometimes, Saturdays need to be just that. Full of intention and nothing else. Sometimes, they are for catching up on sleep and resting the vocal chords. They are a day off from make up and hair styles, a day off from responsibility and social interactions. They are a day that breaks with the week that just ended so we can find the courage to face the week ahead.

Today is one such Saturday. Full of unrealized intentions. Good thing there is a Sunday still waiting in the wings.

February 15 - Short and Sweet

I love the theater.

I fucking love the theater.

That is all.