July 26 - Introvert

Just in case we didn't already know it, I am completely and totally an introvert. In the best possible sense of the word. 

Just sayin'. 

May 27 - Nothing

I have nothing interesting to say today. It was a day. I went to work, I came home, vacuumed my bathroom, I'm pretty sure my vacuum has choked to death on the volume of cat hair I have asked it to consume over the past year and a half, I made some really yummy fishless fish tacos for dinner with my new favorite Gardein product and an Isa cole slaw recipe, and I worked out. Because as good as my intentions were, I did not lose ten pounds in May. Nowhere close. I didn't gain ten pounds either, so that's good, but I lost nothing in May. So it's time to get back on the wagon. And in my post workout stupor, I have nothing interesting to say today. 

Sorry about that. 

May 26 - Change of Plans

Happy Memorial Day!

My plan was to do all the things today. Bring my life back to normal, after too long not eating right, postponing simple chores. I was going to clean and make things and prep food for the week. 

I managed to make it to the grocery store and got food to make some interesting and healthy salads. I've made two of three recipes already and will make the last one soon. But my body has also been telling me to take it easy today. I've spent too much time running around, I've not been sleeping well. So part of my day off has been spent reading a book and napping with my cat. Because as much as my floors need to be vacuumed and my refrigerator stocked, I needed to get my body back to it's normal balance, too. I am going to have a lot going on in the next couple of months and I won't be able to do it if I don't have energy. Sometimes plans need to change, and that's okay. 

May 8 - Blank

I have no idea what to talk about today, which is why I'm writing this at twenty to eleven. Which also really isn't fair because I have a lot going on in my life and in my brain, but I can't seem to put it into a blog properly just yet. So today is a placeholder blog, just filling space until I take the time to actually write about my thoughts on playing traditionally male roles or the importance of improvisation in scripted acting. I'll get there, I promise. It's just a busy week. 

April 3 - Progress

I realize that some of my posts have been a bit dire lately because, well, I've been a bit dire lately. But direness is not permanent and often times, blogging about the down times helps me work through them. So thank you for letting me blog about not happy things.

That being said, I have a little bit of happy to share today. I sang at an audition last night and I did not explode. Not that I necessarily thought I would, but we all know that I have problems singing at auditions and that I am taking steps to work on that. Well, at this audition last night, there were about fifteen people watching as I first did my monologue, then a bit of a cold reading, then sang the intro to "Fly Me to the Moon," which if you've not heard, you can hear it here because it's really rather adorable. And when I finished singing the intro bit, I said, "And the rest of the song is 'Fly Me to the Moon,' but you know that bit already," or something to that effect, and I got a giggle from the crowd. And I left feeling good about the whole shebang. I did not walk out berating myself for a quivering voice, or for picking the wrong song, or for getting too into my own head about it. I was pleased with what I did.

So my take-aways from this experience are:

1. Perhaps I should sing classic/vintage songs at auditions instead of showtunes when I can get away with it.
2. It's okay for me to sing in a higher register than I do when I'm singing along with Liz Phair or Frank Turner.
3. If at all possible, I should do monologues first and songs second at auditions, because I think having a monologue go well helps me be a little less freaked out about singing.
4. I should probably still work on projecting my singing voice without it quivering with nerves.

Progress!

March 20 - Updates

There are so many things we can check the status of these days that I find myself getting increasingly frustrated by the things I can't check up on. When is the "thank you but no thank you" email going to show up? Will I really get notification of my acceptance or rejection on the 31st? When do I get my bonus? And perhaps most importantly, when is it going to start warming up outside? Like for real warming up, not this "one day of fifty-four degrees for an hour in the afternoon followed by overnight snow showers" crap. I'm talking sixties and seventies for a solid month, if not longer. Or warmer. When is that going to happen?

And of course other things, too, that I'm not talking about online just yet. Plans. Thoughts. Ideas. When they are more concrete, I'll let you know what's going on. For now, just know that I hate waiting. When am I going to be able to stop that?

March 12 - Note

I think I'm overdue for an introvert day. 

March 8 - Lessons

What I think I love most about theatre is that I will never know all of it. I will never master it. There will always be something to learn. And as miserable as it can be to have a day or an experience where I am reminded of how little I know, I love those days because they allow me to grow and inspire me to try harder. 

September 27 - A Note

Hi. Stop.

Had an audition. Stop.

Nailed it. Stop.

First read-through Tuesday. Stop.

Yay. Stop.

Talk to you soon. Stop.

Post-script: I like being busy. Stop.

August 31 - Made It

Well, I survived August. I don't think there was tremendous fear that I wouldn't. I'm a bit sleep deprived, but still breathing. I'm hoping to start an exercise every day in September thing tomorrow, but we'll see how that goes. In the meantime, phew!

August 22 - Note to Self

I need to be in a Pegg/Frost/Wright film. Find out how to make that happen. 

August 15 - Gluttony

...and because I don't have enough projects on my plate just yet, I'm now doing a show next weekend, too. Huzzah!

I apologize for the shortness of this blog - more details on the show will come along somewhere I'm sure - but yeah. Too much to do and not enough time in which to do it. Wish me luck and here's hoping I get to come up for air in September...

August 14 - Quick

I have so much to say about the amazing  meal I just ate, but I'm busy hanging out with friends at the moment, so I'm going to choose to live life instead of writing about it. I'll write more tomorrow. 

August 9 - Thought

There has been a lot on my plate this week, and there continues to be a lot on my plate. I think what I most need to remember is that there is still time. I have time and opportunity to think, to consider, and to plan. A well-planned decision is more satisfying in the long run than one hastily made. 

That being said, I still have a lot of preparation to do for filming tomorrow, so I am going to keep this brief. But no matter what is going on, There is always time to think. 

February 27 - Women

I have all of these thoughts floating around in my head about what it means to be a woman and what it is like to be a woman in today's American society and the crap we have to deal with and the things that make us great and I want to be able to write a brilliant, well-researched, well-organized post about all of these things that helps all of my girl friends love and celebrate exactly who they are.

I am not that organized. And I have not done all of the research.

So instead, I'm going to throw a couple ideas out there with no background, no supporting evidence, and maybe we can talk about them:

1. The idea that a perfect woman in American society should be petite is a way to devalue and dehumanize women, to steal their power.
2. The idea that a strong, powerful woman has to "normalize" herself so as to not appear threatening is a way to devalue and dehumanize the woman, to steal her power.
3. Those women who feel it necessary to "normalize" themselves, or tout their flaws (real or imaginary), in order to be likable are doing a disservice to women everywhere.

Discuss.

February 24 - Theater Insights

I think the other thing people don't necessarily know about the theater is just how choreographed it is. I don't mean that in a negative way, and I don't mean to imply that spontaneous brilliance doesn't happen on stage. It does. In good theater, spontaneous brilliance happens all of the time. But before it can happen, everyone needs to know what they are doing and where they are going and what props need to be where by what line and how all of the fights and physical interactions happen. It's like that lovely bit in "Waiting to Guffman" about how that actors have to learn it and learn it and learn it and then forget it. That is very true (as is the following line about how the actors in the play in "Waiting for Guffman" skipped straight to the forgetting it part). But if you don't know what you're doing, you can't do it as if you don't have to think about it.

I'm at rehearsal today for the show I am understudying, and there was a great piece of time dedicated to the dance of two women setting two tables for dinner, and a nice chunk of time dedicated to figuring out where to set down a radio, and a piece of time spent figuring out which side of a door one character should step to so another actor can walk through it unobstructed. They seem like silly questions, simple questions that shouldn't matter that much, but they do. If I walk in and set down a prop somewhere that I never walk again, but I have to take that prop with me when I leave the stage, something really awkward is going to happen. So you have to take the time in rehearsal to figure out where to set things down, what traffic patterns cause the least potential for collisions, and how to set things up during the show so they will be where they need to be for the next bit.

And then you forget about it so you can look like all of these highly choreographed motions happened without a second thought. Ah, the magic of theater.

January 31 - Addendum

I know that no matter how many little annoyances there are in my life, I have friends and family who love me dearly, and a cat who would rather be on my lap than anywhere else in the world. Those things are beautiful and I am so lucky to have them. So to my friends and family and cat, I love you dearly, too.

January 30 - Deal

I need to make a deal to be nicer to my self.
I need to make a deal to nourish my body with good food.
I need to make a deal to feed my soul with nourishing activities.
I need to make a deal to spend time focusing on the positive.
I need to make a deal to allow myself to fail.
I need to make a deal to embrace my imperfections.
I need to make a deal to do one happy thing every day. At least one.
I need to make a deal to let go of the fears.
I need to make a deal to stay active instead of falling into passivity.
I need to make a deal to challenge myself.
I need to make a deal to remember to breathe.

Kitty, do we have a deal?

Deal.

January 21 - Notes

The thing that makes a hero compelling is his weakness. The thing that makes a villain enthralling is his love.