December 5 - Open Letter

Dear Mr. Cumberbatch,

Hi.

Before we get going, I'd just like to say that your work is absolutely lovely. I've not seen everything you've done (I'm on the wrong side of the pond to see you on stage), but the work that I have seen is magnetic. You are certainly up there on the list of actors with whom I would very much like to work one day. I have rather been enjoying your recent press tour, as well, promoting largely a film, but to a lesser degree the third series of Sherlock. I'm looking forward to seeing both projects, but beyond that, you come across as a charming and delightful human being with a delicious vocabulary. Thank you for being a charming, delightful human being with a delicious vocabulary in an industry that does not always promote, celebrate, or condone such things. And if you are not, in fact, a charming, delightful human being, thank you for at least putting forth that persona instead of choosing to be a public twerking nightmare.

Now that the "fangirling" is out of the way, I have a question. Are you tired of every interviewer pointing out how odd your name is? I ask this because I, too, have a rather unique name that has meant I've been meowed at for, well, my entire life. I, personally, get a little bit tired of introducing myself and having people immediately ask, "Is that your real name?" as if I'm lying or trying to pull a fast one on them and my real name is Judy or something more "normal." But I always remind myself that while I've been answering this question for years, my name is something new to them, as is the answer, so of course they are going to ask about it. I find myself wondering if you take a deep breath backstage before you go out for an interview and settle into the "Okay, here we go with the name jokes again" mindset before plastering on a smile. One would also think that you've done enough interviews by now - the vast majority of which are easily found on the internet - that the magazine/publication/show's researchers would see you've already answered those questions, you've already riffed on the puns made about your name, and that there actually is quite a bit more to you than these six syllables. Not to say that your name is not an important part of who you are - I honestly feel like having my specific name has helped shape me - but there are so many other things I could think of to chat with you about over a cup of tea beyond your name. Speaking of which, could I buy you a cup of tea so we can have a chat?

I kid.

Kind of.

May I?

Regardless. Thank you for doing what you do. I hope to meet you on the stage someday.

Best regards,
Kitty

June 21 - Break Up

Hi.

I think it's time we had a talk.

I know, nobody wants to hear those words, and they mean exactly what you think they mean, but for the sake of my own sanity, I need to say them. I think I need to not see you for a while. This relationship has become painful and unfulfilling and leaves me feeling hollow and useless.

Please don't get me wrong - I did love you once. Long before the masses did. And now when my friends talk about how awesome you are, I can't help but smile to myself that I knew it first. And you are a great communicator - you are very good at letting me know what you need from me. It's right there, written down so I don't forget. What I sometimes feel, though, is that you forget there are things I need from you in order to make those things happen. I feel like my needs are not always met, so we fall into this trap of me trying to get you what you need, you telling me I've failed, me trying harder and failing more and I just end up resenting myself and resenting you. I want off of the roller coaster.

Maybe, in time, we can re-examine our relationship. Things weren't always so rough. In the beginning, my biggest complaint was your terrible taste in music - remember that? And the creepy voices you did sometimes? But I grew to love those things as I grew to love you. And I did love you. Please always know that. I think I just need some time and some space to reset and regroup. Take a step back in order to move forward.

This will not be easy. I've grown accustomed to seeing you every day. You're so colorful and the little bits of encouragement are wonderful when they come. They just don't come very often anymore. I feel it is time for me to take responsibility for my own happiness, and at this time, that doesn't include you.

Oh, Candy Crush Saga, why can't I quit you?

Sincerely,
Kitty

May 21 - Open Letter to the Cubs Bullpen

Dear Chicago Cubs Bullpen,

Really?

Really. 

REALLY?!?!?!!

Sincerely,

Miss Kitty

March 24 - An Open Letter to Snow

Dear Snow,

Hi. You really are lovely, you know that? Those of us in the northern half of the northern hemisphere just can't imagine the holiday season without you. We wait with baited breath for you to arrive for the first time each year, and are filled with warm fuzzy feelings when you get here. You make everything beautiful; you make everything clean and new.

Like all good things, though, I have to tell you that you are best in small doses and at the right time. When too much of you shows up at once, people get cranky, roads get slushy and dangerous. And when you show up in late March, well, I hate to say it but we're just tired of you. As lovely as you are, spring is lovely too, as is summer, as is fall. The four seasons need to work in harmony to highlight the beauty and wonder of nature.

So, Snow, my dear Snow, you are lovely, but it's okay for you to go away now. Just for a few months. Come December, we will welcome you again with open arms.

Sincerely and with warmest regards,
Kitty